Whenever I’m stressed and worried, I can’t do much else. I hunker down and do nothing but wait. I count the days until my next reprieve and this time around, it happens in May.
I have two stresses at the moment and the most protrusive is my looming lawsuit, for obvious reasons. I’d rather undergo a root canal than get sued. I’d rather break an arm, or have a large portion of my intestines removed.
My second stress is the onslaught of clients my little business is enduring. We have approximately 180 signature couples massages left to be redeemed. 180 that are not yet expired (we have 90 that are already expired). And we have around 300 single person massages left which I’m not the least bit concerned about.
All of them expire by the end of next month which leaves me with glorious May to look forward to.
My calculations were correct and the business can survive monetarily until the end of April, just barely, but it’ll survive. Then there will be room for regular priced clients.
Truth be told, this lawsuit couldn’t have happened at a better time. Hold on now, let me tell you why. I’m not being sarcastic.
First of all, if they sued me while I was in all that debt, I wouldn’t have been able to hire a lawyer. Not only that, but when it came time to go bankrupt, I not only would have to bankrupt my business, but suffer personal bankruptcy as well – I’d have no reserves to pull from to start over again especially if I was still stuck at my shitty old location.
If they sued me a year from now, when I have a decent pile of money saved towards a house – that money would be wiped away.
However, if they sue me now, while I still have debt to pay, any excess money in my business account will be transferred over to my personal line of credit, where it’s safe. I can pay off my last remaining credit card. I’ll lose nothing. And the groupons are almost all redeemed, soon we’ll have nothing but regular priced clients which means the business can pick up and start paying for itself even without any reserve money in the bank. I’ve done it before just last year in August 2016. I had zero money in the bank on August 1st and I wasn’t the slightest bit worried.
Okay, maybe a little worried, but nothing major.
So this is a great time to be sued!
One of my insurance agencies called the business today asking for me but my lawyer handles all that stuff. I figure if they got me on the phone they’ll find out how stupid and naive I really am. I’d admit to something or agree to something I shouldn’t which would get them off the hook.
Anyway, when I hunker down like this and count the days, time goes by both fast and slow. Each day is excruciatingly slow. May can’t come soon enough. But at the same time, I can’t believe it’s Friday again. Last Friday feels like yesterday.
I really hope my insurance companies agree to represent me. That’ll be one slight relief at least. And I think State Farm handles bankruptcies which will most definitely happen.
My receptionist/friend wants me to go to Italy so badly that she offered to buy my plane ticket after I told her that I can’t go. She called me and talked for a good half hour nonstop about how important it is to her that I go.
At first I refused flat out saying no way, then I said “I’ll pay you back”, then I accepted defeat and said “sure, I’ll go.”
If you heard her on the phone, you’d understand. Saying No would’ve been a massive slap in the face.
Once everything is done with, I’ll make it up to her. I’ll buy us a Groupon vacation or something. They are wicked cheap! Me and her together for a Groupon vacation once this is all behind us, will be an astounding victory. One for the books. Can you imagine? It’s like, too good to be true. Too damn good. It’ll be reminiscent of when I stood on the roof of that really expensive hotel in Bangkok – I felt limitless and I haven’t even begun my success yet.
My therapist with the skin disorder is still out sick. One week turned into the rest of the month and all of next month is blocked off as well. I’ve been massaging more lately but I think it’s good for me. I’m saving a ton of money by taking her clients and I need that right now so I’m okay with it. It does make it harder for people to book though.
I beat my game already, Horizon Zero Dawn. I didn’t want it to end. But it’s a good thing since it was keeping me up until 3am each night. It’s good that it’s over.
My new addiction is listening to “The Girl with all the Gifts”. I want to read the book before I watch the movie which looks pretty badass. I’m already on chapter 34.
But with all this stress and worry, I wish I can find a happy book to read. Like another Harry Potter series or something.
I had two clients today then went to Cosco for work supplies, came home and finished my Dad’s taxes and laid in bed listening to my audiobook and fell asleep for 4 hours, woke up in time to eat corned beef and cabbage. It’s St Patricks day and like always, my mom makes the quintessential Irish cuisine to perfection. It was sooo good.
It was a relatively good day. I’m still shackled to my bunker, hunkering down. Not wanting to do anything aside from laying with my dog. I feel my life slipping by, but I can’t wait for these next 6 weeks to slip by. Like skating down the hallway in my socks, a habit I never broke free of.
I had an odd dream last night. I usually don’t dream when I fall asleep to audiobooks, but it happened anyway in a short burst of imagery. It was an SNL skit. 3 black men were all dressed up as fat women who had their own soap making business. They were singing a song and polishing their soap on their aprons in unison. I, for whatever reason, found this hilarious. when I woke up, I went to the bathroom and looked up what laughter and soap means. All good stuff, forgot what exactly but it was definitely good.
I love my business so damn much. I kiss the walls and caress them before closing up shop for the day. “I love you, don’t ever forget. We’ll get through this!” I tell it.
Our clients love my business. Thousands of them, no exaggeration. Thousands of people love my business. One client only yesterday, emailed me to tell me she loves the place and she thinks I’m awesome. She literally said she thinks I’m awesome.
The space is perfect, everything is so damn perfect from the employee’s to the elephant lamp.
My therapists are: Lara, Leah, Megan, Erinn, Mollie, Lori, Debora, Melissa, Crista, Igor, Austin and Adonis. And one receptionist, Jill. And you know what? All of them love me. A few of the new therapists want to quit their other jobs and just work here, but I told them to hold off. “Come May it’ll slow down. Best wait to see what happens in May.”
You don’t understand how perfect I made everything. Using Apple’s logic of simplicity. And those same people who love me now, will hate me if I lose the place. They’ll hate me for their gift certificates that will be useless. Who know’s, I might even end up in jail. The whole town will shun me. It’ll be like being on top of that mountain in Nepal, shunned and rejected.
It’s kind of funny how I relate all my high moments to being on the rooftop of that hotel in Bangkok and all my low moments to being on top of the mountain in Nepal.
It’s like, even if I’m not physically undergoing a gruesome trek, I’m still emotionally making that same trek. The higher the altitude, the harder to breathe, the harder it is just to take one step forward.
That’s how it is for me now. If I venture outside my bunker, it’s like having to trek in high altitudes. Each step takes all my effort. That’s the best way to describe it.
I need to trek that mountain again once all this is behind me. I’ll turn that low moment into another high. Can you imagine? I can see it in my head, a perfect life. So unbearably close now, I’m brushing shoulders with it. And not one person who reads my blog can say I didn’t work hard for it or don’t deserve it.
I’m not losing the business. It’s not going to happen.