Category Archives: philosophy

Holy Shit I’m a Millennial

People constantly complain about Millennials not wanting to work but still expecting everything to be handed to them.  I never suspected I was one of these people until last night.

I don’t want to do anything.  I don’t want to work.  And I expect I will be taken care of, always.

But what happens if all Millennials are like me?  Who’s going to make our buttons?  Who’s going to sell me toilet paper?

The people who are stuck in debt and/or have to take care of a family.  Those people can make buttons and sell toilet paper.  I ain’t doing it.  It’s not for me.  I deserve better.

I’m a goddamned fucking Millennial.

I was born in 1980.  The tail end of generation X and the start of the new era of Millennials.  I got the best of both worlds.  Kids of generation X consisted of punks dressing up like homeless rockers and the girls dressed like farmers.  I dressed like a homeless farmer which I still do most days.

Gen X’s only culture is that of pop.  We basically have no other culture.  Our culture is fleeting and superficial.  Based purely on enjoyment, on looking cool.  Idolizing famous people simply because they are famous.  We are a generation without substance.  A generation that lacks any real hardships.  If you consider our holidays as culture and tradition, we are gifted presents on those days – presents we didn’t earn, but expect we’ll receive none-the-less.  We feel like we deserve them.  Are entitled to them.

Our parents come from a different era.  An era where if they didn’t work, they didn’t eat.  If their family grew in size, the husband would build an addition to the house himself.  Not expecting anyone else to do it for him.  And he’d take pride in it.

I believe my generation lacks pride.  Kids who grew up playing video games 24/7 and crying if they didn’t get a toy in their happy meal, how can they have pride?  They grow up soft and doughy, needing glasses from having their faces shoved in front of a computer screen all day.  They don’t care if they can’t lift a 2 by 4, someone else will do it for them.  They’ll call their Grand-pappy over to have them fix their plumbing problems or electrical work.

In our parents (possibly grandparents) generation, women weren’t treated equally in the job-force which in turn made them devout mothers and care-takers.  Our Dad’s brought home the bacon and our Mother’s served it to us on expensive plates ironically made in China.

If you broke a plate, you would get scolded.  Not like today where parents tell their kids, “don’t worry hun, it’s just a plate.”

Respect and appreciation for material possessions has plummeted.  That’s one key factor that give Millennials their attributes.  Their appreciation lies with what they don’t have.

Back in the day there were no cheap Walmarts, no GPS, no cell phones.  No franchises that cut labor costs.  A pair of shoes cost a weeks wages. We are a generation of Walmart shoppers who never get lost and all our friends live in our pockets via smart phone.  Have we ever known fear?

The best part of the day for a husband was dinner-time and the best part for the wife was afternoon soap-opera’s and putting the kids to bed.  Simple pleasures and a simple yet less convenient life.

The revolution started over a hundred years ago.  The womens suffrage movement which completely obliterated marriage as the sole means of survival for upcoming generations.  We’re a generation standing on that movement.  It’s our foundation.  We are born in freedom that we didn’t earn ourselves and we don’t know what to do with.  Divorce comes easier with each passing year.

We’re a generation expecting choice and freedom.  If something goes against our expectations (such as work), we get confused and don’t understand what we did wrong to deserve such hardships.  And since we’re not a prideful generation, we’re not above whining like spoiled doughy brats with ruddy cheeks and buggery noses.

And I’m one of them.  I’m a stupid lazy Millennial.  The only thing I have to contribute to the future of the world is my uterus which I refuse to do on accounts it will stifle my freedom and kick me back into the middle-ages of having to make buttons and sell toilet paper.

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I’m going to be 50 in 12 years.  I just realized that today over lunch with a friend who will also turn 50 in 12 years.

The first 12 years of my life were monumental.  They lasted a lifetime.

Me thinking – “Wow I’m only 12 and I know so much already!  I’ll be a freaking genius by the time I’m 24!”

I remember thinking that when I was 12.

Little did I know that my brain would stop developing that year.

12 years ago I was 25.  I’m still that same 25 year old.  In fact, I’m still that same 12 year old.

Knowledge doesn’t accumulate.  It doesn’t double every 7 years like with a savings bond.  My question is why?  The first 12 years (not counting my 13th year since that’s the year hormones kick in), I learned everything I needed to know for the rest of my life.  I understood the basics of it.

All I’ve done since then is refine and enhance the knowledge I learned in my first 12 years of life.  The only thing I added was inches to my height.

It doesn’t have anything to do with how much I retain over the years.  It has more to do with values.  In those first 12 years, I established my values.

This is all my opinion, not backed up by science or surveys.  Read for entertainment purposes only.

I believe my entire personality, my true character is established solely on my values (maybe I learned this in psych class?  I don’t know).

And if my values were instilled in me by the tender age of 12, all the subsequent years that followed has either hardened my resolve or weakened my soul.  In other words, since my beliefs have already been established, they are either reinforced or broken down over the course of time since adolescence.

I believe (still, this is all conjecture), that we go through cycles of being broken down and built up again.  Like a spiral, the golden ratio.  When we start sucking our spirals back into ourselves like a strand of spaghetti, back to its origin – we break down.  But when we exhale it all out, like we’re giving, not receiving, we are essentially growing and strengthening our character.  Widening it enough to fit in more of the world.  Until that is, we get scared to death and have to suck it all back in again.

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The older we get, the harder it is to break us.  Like a bone that’s already been broken, we’re harder to break the second time.  And because of this, we become less pliable, more set in our ways, afraid to venture outside protocol.  We lose our fascination and wonder because we’re too tired to break down our belief system yet again only to have to rebuild it once more.

Unsubstantiated pride is the glue that holds belief structures together.  But it doesn’t make us stronger, it makes us brittle.  Stubbornness equals brittleness unless the pride that binds has merit.

If my beliefs, my value’s, my personality and character were all imbued in me by the time I was 12, that also means that what I dream of most in life has also been determined.  My fascinations and curiosities were apart of me from the start.  Before I threw them overboard to the wretched urchins of the sea.

It’s our fascinations and curiosities that contain our unique gifts.  And because of their fragility, they are the first to go when life gets messy.  “Jettison all that is unnecessary for fear it will sink us.”

The generations that came before us, most of the people who lived in those times were tied to a repressed culture.  A culture in which they had to work in order to survive, their well deserving pride provided them with existential purpose.  They worked hard to figure out puzzling problems, knew how to read maps and stars.  They couldn’t refer to a YouTube channel on how to make the perfect turtle soup, they had to learn by trial and error.

They had to chop off the chickens head themselves, sort of speak (or literally).  A type of appreciation Millennials know nothing about.

These days, every answer we seek is a mouse click away.  Every inch of the world has already been mapped.  All the awesome idea’s ever fathomed can be admired on Pinterest while you tilt your head in envy and murmur, “I wish I thought of that.”

We might be the very first generation who got an applause for using the potty.  We get applauded for accomplishing small everyday necessities while not having to use our heads for life’s most intricate problems – we have Google and psychiatrists for that.  All the legal drugs at our fingertips accompanied by copious amounts of information that we didn’t work out ourselves.

There’s an answer for everything and it’s either in the form of a pill, or a YouTube video.

Millennials didn’t earn their stubbornness the good old fashioned way by trial and error.  They learn it from pop culture, they are swayed by the popular vote.  They go with whatever thought process is in style at the time.  They depend on others to tell them how to think or how to feel because they never had to work out problems on their own.  They value the information inside a computer more than they value their own judgment.  And this was infused in them before they turned 12.  The most crucial years for discovering individuality and purpose.

They’ll become brittle, weak adults with no heart in the marrow of their bones.  No merit infusing their belief system.

We’re sucking in that strand of spaghetti more than we’re expanding its reach.  We’re more likely to kill ourselves over feeling helpless and hopeless rather than take pride in what we already have or do.  How can we have pride if every 6-year old can earn a black belt simply by showing up for class and paying his dues on time?

Unsubstantiated pride is the blunder of todays youth.  And I’m sitting on my throne as the Mother Queen of all Millennials.

I was born lazy.  It taken me 2 long weeks passed my due date just to leave the womb.  And although I was 14 at the time the internet went global, it became the love of my life.  Almost as if I knew it was coming and I merely waited all the preceding years until its arrival.

I don’t think, I click.

I don’t create, I copy.

I don’t cut off the proverbial chickens head myself, my mom buys Purdue at the grocery store.  And the chickens of the future won’t even have heads.

You don’t have to expend your energy by judging or hating me for any of this, I already hate and judge myself.

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Everyone is born with a gift.  Everyone’s life embodies Joseph Campbell’s philosophical story map.  The same map that every story ever told has used.

This image is where I got the idea for the spiral I mentioned earlier.  Constant change and constant adaptions that spiral out and build off the old.  In my depiction of it, you’ll never arrive back where you started, it’s never a full circle.  Eventually the Hero gets tired and decides to plop down once and for all.  He’s done, he’s had it.  Enough bullshit.

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I drank coffee today.  You see what happens when I drink coffee?  Almost 2000 words, that’s what happens.  The majority of it gibberish.

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Entering into the Glory Days: My New Chapter in Life

My Dad woke me up today at 8am after I had a late night of 7-8 beers and little sleep.

Dad – “Mel”

Me – no answer

Dad – “MEL!”

Me – “Yeah…..”

Dad – “We’re leaving now for Atlantic city.”

Me – “Yeah….”

I fell back to sleep for what seemed like a few hours until I hear my Dad again outside my bedroom door….

Dad – “Mel”

I waited for the second, more boisterous MEL to jolt me awake, but it never came.  Then I thought to myself, “what are they still doing here?  Didn’t they leave?”

Me thinking – “Oh God, they did leave.  So who’s outside my door?”

Rational brain – “It was an auditory hallucination, don’t panic.  You’re still half asleep.”

Then my alarm went off about a minute after I heard ghost Dad calling me.  I slammed on the snooze.

My brother’s in Rhode Island with my dog and I’m all alone in the house until Tuesday.  I’m already creeped out.  It sounded so real!  An exact echo of this morning when my Pop first woke me.

I’ve had auditory hallucinations before but never like this.  The crap I hear is usually heavy machinery, 20 TV’s turned on and blaring, one time when I was a kid I heard a news bulletin but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying.

I only hear stuff when I’m super stressed, I drank too much, and/or had little sleep.  It’s annoying when it happens.  It is NOT a spiritual awakening, it’s science that we haven’t figured out yet.

But anyways, I made a pledge to myself that I’m going to start the p90X workout tomorrow.  90 days of pain.  I don’t want to do it because it cuts into my laying around time, but I have no choice.  And plus I left behind my only pair of sneakers in Italy – I need to wear sneakers or my ankles get sore (learned from last time I did P90X).  So now I need to buy a pair of new freaking sneakers.

I’ve been hiking up my big little mountain most days.  I push myself to do it and it has gotten way easier, but I still feel like a fat slug.  I still don’t feel my best, my confidence is low.   My pants aren’t getting any looser.

It’s taking way too long is what I’m getting at.

I’m highly determined when it comes to certain things but I’m equally as lazy.  How can I be both?

I’m determined when it comes to things infringing upon my laziness.  I can’t enjoy being lazy if I’m fat and progressively getting fatter – the enjoyment plunges and morphs itself into self-hate.  I swear to god, I know I sound dramatic but it’s true.  My favorite activity (laying around) becomes tainted, no longer care-free enjoyment if I can’t run to save my life.  Eventually I’ll need one of those electric chair thingy’s to do my Walmart shopping in and clearly that’s unacceptable.

Why do I enjoy being lazy?  Because that’s the place where everything settles at the bottom.  The waters become still.  I can finally think and clear my head, to see straight down into the muck of the person I am.  No other activity welcomes me as much as mucking around the still waters.  It demands so little of me (none of me if you want to get zen with it).

My laziness started around mid-May and now it’s June 25th.  The chronic worry I faced during the initial onset of my retirement is subsiding and being replaced with insomnia.

I’m a night owl by nature.  Night is when I come alive.  And since I don’t have to wake up early anymore, the combination of being awake at night and sleeping in is seriously messing with my circadian rhythm.  I had insomnia 4 days in a row last week and I haven’t suffered like that in years prior.

So tomorrow I’m going to FootPrints to buy sneakers, then heading back home to start day one of the P90X.  It should quell my insomnia to some degree.  Seriously, P90X is no joke.  It’s an hour of pure ass-kicking.

These past 4 years of working 70 hours a week has taken its toll just as I knew it would.  Yet another reason why I hate giving massage – it makes me fat.

But what blows my mind is – I foreseen all this happening.  Almost like I planned it.  I knew my body would be a wreck at the end but I also knew as soon as my time freed up, I would do something about it.  I’m not just all talk.  I’ve never been all talk.  I planned for this and I’m actually following through.

As far as my business goes…..

Have you ever looked back on a certain time in your life when everything seemed easy and fun?  Like an old job you out-grew, but loved the time you spent working there?

I’m horribly sentimental to a fault and I kept wondering over and over again ever since opening my business; “if I look back on this time in my life, would they be fond memories?  Easy and fun, filled with loving people?”

The answer I always found myself with is No.  No this is not a fun time and no I would not look back on it fondly.

That is until now.  I’m living in that time right now.  The time when everything is perfect.  I can look back on this present moment and say, “Best time ever.”

I’ve been waiting for this moment since opening.  And if you completely disregard the pending lawsuit, things will only get better from here on out.

I think things are good now but you just wait…it’ll get even better.  You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet.

My receptionist has a lot to do with it.  She ties everything together.  She’s even throwing us an employee party at her house which is ultimate in strengthening the bonds we share.  The stronger the bonds, the more powerful the business.

I feel like I’m reliving my 20’s.  The ease and flow of life when you’re young, it’s all coming back.  Complete with care-free’s, no responsibilities, and following the fun.

When I look back on last summer, the only thing I remember about it is my spontaneous 5 days off.  I had 5 days off in a row, it wasn’t planned.  It just happened.  The rest of the time was spent on stress and one disaster following another.

So far this has been the best summer of my life.  Well, technically 1986 was my favorite summer since I thought it lasted an entire year (I was 6).  I graduated kindergarten and waited for first grade to start but it never came.  I remember asking someone if I had to wait a year until I can go to the first grade and they said, “it’s not a whole year, just the summer.”

But yeah….this is the best year of my life.  I can’t get over it.  And it’ll only get better!  As long as I keep the weight off and stay healthy, age won’t be a bother.  I have nothing but the best years still ahead of me.  And it all began last month.  It’s only been a month of this!

And according to my poor math skills, I’ll have an extra $2000 in the bank starting next month.

Don’t get me wrong, life still sucks.  I can never stop the suck completely, it’ll always be there.  All I’m trying to do is make the best out of the suck.  Despite the suck, I will enjoy what there is.  I laugh in the face of the suck.

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I sat outside on our back porch today – just for a few minutes.  I went out there to throw a recyclable away and as soon as I slid open the sliding glass door, I was hit in the face with a beautiful day.  Literally, I felt it hit my face.

Me – “Wow, it’s so nice out.”

Me thinking – “We are floating in pitch-black darkness surrounded by nothingness.  No air to breathe, no plant or animals, not even gravity.  Nothing.  Just coldness and the sporadic clump of debris that formed into an orb due to gravity.  We are on such an orb.  One orb of debris out of infinity.

I HAD to sit down to think about this.  To look at the tree’s, the sky, feel the breeze, the colors and brightness, hear the birds chirping.  How are we even here?

I’m part of the earth, it made me.  I’m a natural part of it.  But why me exactly?  Why Me specifically?  My thoughts don’t feel natural, they don’t feel born from the earth.

Language, which I feel is the deciding factor between beast and man, allows these unnatural thoughts to occur.  Language creates a barrier between us and the universe.  We are not it and it is not us.  Language is nothing more than an evolved form of basic survival.  It came strictly from ego, our fear of death.  It’s both linear and restrictive and forms us into everything we are.

The sad truth is that there is no me.  I’m nothing but just another animal born from science.  No better or different from any other animal that lived.  Language is the biggest obstacle that makes us think otherwise.  Like we’re special, we’re separate.  It’s the biggest lie ever told.

Once you grasp this, I mean REALLY grasp it, it shatters your world.  You will suffer ego death (which feels like dying for real) and reemerge as the buddhist monk who ordered his hot dog “One with everything.”

It’s like you have to study really hard, learn all that you can and when you’re ready – forget it all.  Wipe the slate clean because it’s all false, it’s limited thinking, it’s not as real as now.

But now you have a base-line to shoot from.  If not for all you learned, you wouldn’t have a place to plant your feet.  Language is a place holder.  Until you swap it out for something better, what existed before you will continue to exist unchanged.

I’m clearly transfixing dammit.  I hate when I do that.

Shit I hope I sleep tonight.  I’m hungry.

Tomorrow is a big day filled with new sneakers and kicking my own ass.

 

 

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It’s Life, Actually

It’s June now.  Good old summer is here.  And I’m laying in bed at 8PM on a Saturday.

Okay okay, I know I’m being lazy, but I don’t do this all the time.  I’ve been really social lately, more so than I imagined I’d be.  I’m actually proud of myself for it.  And I’ve been staying true to exercise.  I’ve been hiking and rollerblading just like I promised I’d do.

I’m keeping up on myself.  Making sure I don’t slouch my life away.  It’s hard not to be a slouch when I don’t have to work anymore.  I have to make a conscious effort just to get up and at least go for a walk.  “It’s just a walk Melanie.  You can do that.”

And then after my walk, I somehow have a surplus of motivation to get in touch with people I haven’t seen in a while.  Everybody I ditched from when I had to work 70 hours a week.  It always happens after I take a walk.  A walk that I have to make a conscious effort to take.

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I’ve been redefining my definition of love.  I always thought love meant that you cared about someone.  That you look out for them and keep their best interests at heart.  But this definition depresses me because it’s the “movie” kind of love.  It’s not real.  Assuming a person cares about you is the worst assumption you can make.  It sets you up for the worst kind of heart break imaginable.

In the end, all people care about is what they can gain from you.  What you offer them.  And if they like what you’re selling, they’ll love you for it.  Heck, they might even become addicted to it.  They may become in need of it and when they reach that phase of need, most people consider that love.

No matter what angle I look at it from, this is it.  The harsh reality.

I’m honing in on the unreciprocated kind of love.  The one-sided deal.  I love people, but in my own way.  The kind of love I’m talking about can handle rejection.

I’ve narrowed down what love is in one sentence;  Being happy that a person is alive (or has lived).

You don’t want or need anything from them, but just the mere fact that they are alive, brings you joy.  And therefore love.  It’s not even unrequited love because you don’t want them to love you back.  Sometimes even preferring that they don’t in some instances.

“Just do your thang man, I love ya bro.”

It’s the most basic kind of love.  It’s the kind of love people have for movie stars they’ll never meet, or fallen hero’s that died for a cause – you love them for merely existing.  “Thank you for your service” kind of love.

A new baby has entered the world.  They contribute nothing, drain you of money and sleep, but you still manage to love them merely for existing.

It’s a primal, earthly love that is lost to us in youth.  When we stop buying Teen Beat magazine and pining over Ralph Macchio.

Granted, you should never idolize anyone, I’m not saying that.  But you can appreciate their existence from afar.

After puberty, most kids stop appreciating from afar when they learn other needs can be met in closer vicinity.  Needs such as sex, or an egoic need that makes them feel good about themselves.  It has nothing to do with appreciation and it’s all about what they can get.

It’s like they stopped dreaming and started settling.  They settled for immediate gratification obtained through the use of another person.  And if that person stops procuring what they need, they get dumped.

I’m trying my hand at the unattached kind of love.  It’s like hippie love, but I’d rather think of it as the most basic primal love there is.  A love that we lost interest in since it’s not obtainable.  It can’t be controlled.

You love a person for merely existing, so let them exist.  Don’t interfere.  Add to their life, not destroy it by means of control or jealousy.   Because you’re afraid of losing them.  Afraid of losing someone that defines your own existence.

If you love someone, let them exist.  Appreciate them.

If I can find someone who’s able to love this way, I’ll marry them and never let him out of my site.  You can’t trust those damn hippies with their enigmatic gravitational energy.

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The doctor thinks my Dad might have prostate cancer.

My brother – “Don’t google it.”

He know’s how much I like to Google things.  But I took his advice and have not done so.

My Pop went in for a routine blood check and found out he has a large number of a certain type of blood cell associated with prostate cancer.  The doctor wants to wait a month to see if they rise again.

I’ve always been a proponent of unattached love.  When I’m at my strongest, I’m invincible to all heartache.  I don’t let anything beat me down.

But that’s never been the case with my parents.  I’m attached to them big time.  I need them.  I’ll never be able to let go.  So this whole prostate thing, it can’t happen.

I’m not Googling it.  I can’t.  I won’t.

I can’t do this thing they call life.

 

 

 

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What If The Big Bang Never Happend?

Hear me out for a second.  I don’t have much time, but want to put this down on paper before it falls into the void.  It’s for a book idea.

I watch a lot of documentary’s about the universe, quantum mechanics and physics.  I even read a few books about it.

  • I learned that the universe is expanding faster and faster until dark energy will tip the scales and become so great that it’ll be powerful enough to rip atoms apart.

This will happen billions of years from now.

  • I also learned that multi-universes must exist in order to explain the perfection of our own universe.
  • Particles can pop in and out of existence in the vacuum of space.  This is the only stable theory that explains the big bang (creating something from nothing).  One popular hypothesis is that it “borrows” energy from a parallel dimension.  But it quickly has to repay its debt by popping back out of existence.
  • And finally, I learned that anything that falls into a black hole leaves an imprint on the event horizon.  A little data packet of information that can be used to reconstruct whatever it was that fell into the black hole.  Whether it be your wallet, with all your credit cards in it, or a hat.

Furthermore, there’s a few physicists that actually believe that’s all we are, data packets on an event horizon.  Packets of energy that’s been reconstructed as the walking talking holograms we are today.  Not just people, but planets, stars, time, space – everything is a hologram.  Our universe is nothing more than a hologram being projected from a place light can never reach.

The gravity we feel is a byproduct of the black hole.  The stuff that holds us all together.  Perhaps gravity is the repayment of borrowed energy?  A magnet from a different dimension?

My book idea is this; what if instead of there being a multiverse of floating universes that never meet, it’s more like a multiverse that works like a fire works show?  Once the “big rip” happens and the old universe is destroyed by dark energy, a new universe pops into existence by overlapping it?  Like when one firework starts to fade, another one explodes on top of it.

Nothing ever dies in this way, just fades away.

Scientists claim that time didn’t exist before the big bang.  This is because of spacetime.  Time and space are dependent on each other and if there was no space, there was no time.

But with my firework analogy, there was a time before time.  Nothing is separated.  Just lost in a different time.

Past, present and future all exist simultaneous at the same time.  This can be proven with the laws of physics and spacetime.  It just depends on your perspective.  And I watched a documentary explaining this, the same documentary that talks about the universe eventually being torn apart leaving no trace of space or time in it’s wake and I started thinking about the grandfather paradox.

How can there be an end to time?  If there is an end to time, how can time exist now?  When it doesn’t exist in the future?

Think about it this way…..

Let’s say the universe is about to end in 5 seconds.  5, 4, 3, 2, 1……what happens next?  The blankness?  The nothingness?  If this is true, than where are we?  If all time happens simultaneous depending on your perspective, how can time exist and not exist at the same time?  How can we be here and not here?

Because there is no end of time, only new fireworks.  Time has to be perpetual in order for us to exist.

And what about the big bang theory?  What if it never exploded?

When particles pop out of nothingness, they borrow their energy from someplace.  But they can’t stay in existence because they quickly need to repay the borrowed energy.

What if the big bang started off as a singularity so massively dense using borrowed energy, nothing escaping it’s gravity, that when it exploded – it swallowed itself back up forming an immense black hole?  And we are merely trapped on the surface as a hologram?  And once that energy has been repaid, the process starts all over again.  More fireworks.

It’s like we’re on the surface of a balloon.  Technically, there is no center point of a balloon, no center of the universe, no center of explosion since spacetime expands as the universe expands.  But what if we can somehow float under the membrane of the balloon, into it’s real center?  The origin, if you will.

That’s kinda my book idea, kinda sorta.  Someone who can pass through the membrane of the balloon and from their perspective, they’re able to see the past, present and future, and the deeper they fall into the hole, the older time gets.  They can see past universes.  It becomes such a blur that it leads into infinity.  Every possibility existing at the same time.

Anyway, it’s 2:37 in the morning and I need to be up at 8.  I really hope this doesn’t become a problem again.  Staying up late to blog.  I had it under control for the longest time.

 

 

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Explaining the impossible with infinity

Whenever scientists can’t explain something, they chalk it up to infinity.

“The universe is infinite so according to the laws of probability, the likelihood of there being a habitable planet such as our own is no mystery.  It’s science.”

There’s too many unexplained coincidences that make life possible on earth.  The more we learn about our dependance on these factors, the more we believe in the infinite.

There’s just no other way.

This explains the mystery of how life on earth is possible, but now science has recently discovered dark energy.  We’re no longer looking at how life on earth is made possible, but how the universe itself is stable enough to support us.

It is again, miraculous.  Nearly impossible in it’s likelihood that our universe is fit for human life, or any life for that matter.  Stars and planets are also found to be improbable.

Dark energy is the opposite force of gravity.  Gravity pulls us in and dark energy pulls things apart.

The amount of dark energy being used to expand the universe is in such small quantities that it baffles physicists.  But it’s also the perfect number.  More or less of it, time and space wouldn’t exist.

Before the big bang, space and time didn’t exist.  There was nothing.  I hit zen when I was 7 years old while pondering this “nothingness”.  I called it blankness because I didn’t have the words to define it, I still don’t.

But anyway, our universe is measurable and has a beginning.  It’s like a contained bubble floating amid nothingness, or blankness.

Once again physicists are convinced that there has to be infinite multiple universes.  There’s no other way to explain the perfection of our cosmos.  It’s too perfect to be explained.

Explaining everything we don’t understand with infinity and probability is the same as using God as an explanation.  It’s not real science.  It can’t be measured or proven.  It’s more philosophy than anything.  Scientists know this, but can’t ignore this simple explanation.

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Arrival

I just got a jail broken fire stick today and watched my first jail broken movie on it, Arrival.

I don’t condone jail broken fire sticks, I give nobody permission to use a jailbroken anything other than myself.

Now that that’s clear, I want to talk about this movie!

SPOILER ALERT

The whole premise of the movie (this is a spoiler just so you know), is that by learning a special language – the alien language – it reconstructs your brain into seeing your future memories.

I learned about this a while ago on my own during one of my ruminating epidemics.  People of other languages interpret things differently and therefore must think differently.  I never knew this was an actual study called the sapir-whorf hypothesis until I watched this movie.

So anyway, if you learn their alien language fluently, you’ll be able to interpret time differently.  So it’s non-linear.  The memories you make in the future can help you out in the present by giving you clues on what to do next.

I know I wrote about this paradox before, how this is impossible even if it were to be possible.  The whole grandfather time travel paradox for example.  But the movie skirts around this issue by not changing the past.

Your future memories are the best possible outcome so instead of changing anything, you’re simply following the thread to the best future possible which has already happened in your future memories.

Confusing?  Yes.  They don’t explain all that in the movie, it’s more implied than anything.  I think it would make a better book so people understand this a little better.

But this is so similar to what I was going through during the fall of 2015.  If you read my posts from back then, I was purposely writing to my future self to help me out.  To send me strength or answers, or both.  I was praying to myself because according to ayahuasca, there is no god, just us.  This doesn’t make me an atheist, it’s just that, well, it’s too complicated to get into at the moment.  And I vowed never to get transfixed with crazy preach speech again.

Screw it, one more time I’ll try to explain my interpretation of God when I intuited it from ayahuasca.

God is the universe.  That’s probably a universal understanding, nothing new there.  But what exactly is the universe?

Our technology today can measure just about anything.  We can measure the static residue caused by the big bang and figure out how old the universe is, and how big it’s becoming.  Basically according to science, the universe is a finite, measurable place.  It’s measurable because it had a beginning.

Now lets look at what’s beyond the measurable/known universe.  What do you think is out there?

More universe, that’s what’s out there.

Now, just take a moment and think about this.  I mean really think about it.  If there’s more universe, an infinite universe, do you know what that means?  Do you know what that implicates?  It implies everything.  Literally everything is out there.

In other words, another you is out there.  It’s mathematically impossible for there not to be another you in an infinite sea of universes.  Not only that, but it’s impossible for there not to be an infinite number of you’s in an infinite sea of universes.

Everything exists.  Even Jesus.

But you may argue that these other replica’s of earth must abide by our laws of physics.  It’s impossible to turn water into wine no matter what world you live in.  And yes, that’s true if you’re speaking about our “known” universe, but all other universes can have their own set of laws.

Do you understand what I’m saying?  Everything exists.  Everything.  It’s like when I experienced my two seconds of emptiness (I know I talk about that a lot and it’s getting old), when I felt nothing but possibilities.  Nothing exists but possibilities.

Another way to interpret this infinity is to imagine an ape typing on a typewriter.  Given enough time, he’ll eventually type Hamlet word for word.  Not only Hamlet, but every book ever written, every book that was never written.

So when people believe in God, do they even know what that means?  Do they have any idea what god is?  How can you believe in something when you don’t even know what it is that you believe in?

After doing ayahuasca, belief in god or in any religion, is mind boggling baffling to me.

The universe is God.  If there are infinite universes, does that mean there are an infinite number of gods?

Instead of believing in god, I known for certain that I exist.  So I’m more comfortable believing in myself.  An infinite amount of Melanie’s all blogging simultaneous.

There’s this thing in physics called quantum entanglement.  Two completely separate particles act like one particle.  Whatever happens to one of them, happens to it’s twin.  Even lightyears apart.  None can explain this.

What if I’m quantumly entangled with all these infinite Melanie’s?  They can send me secret messages via gut-feelings?  What happens to their soul when they die?  Do we become one?

Ayahuasca also told me that I must believe in god in order for me not to go to hell.  It’s totally contradictory.  This I can not explain, or understand.

What I intuited is that I have to have complete faith in the “process” without any fear what-so-ever and the only way to get around the obstacle of fear is to believe in a higher power.  Absolute trust.

So, God exists and doesn’t exist at the same time.  It’s Schrodinger’s cat all over again.

Anyway, today is Wednesday night, technically Thursday.  The last time I went to work was on Sunday.  These last few days were blissful.

I actually have to finish charging my member clients because it’s the first of the month….it’s already 12:08 so I should do that.

I haven’t done my taxes like I said I would.  My reason being is that Groupon didn’t send me my tax statement yet.  It’s a valid excuse.  All my receipts are tally’d up just about so all I need to do is plug in the numbers.

I love my receptionist.  These past few days of bliss were made possible by her being there instead of me.

My only worries hanging over my head are:

  1. Doing my taxes
  2. Hiring another therapist

And that’s it.  Even with my two employee’s leaving me, the business will be fine.  They picked the best possible time to move on.  Is this due to that higher power ayahuasca mentioned?  Because I’m learning how to trust the process?

I don’t know.  All I know is that it is strange to see my life shaping up exactly how I want it to be.  It’s strange to think I can have my own house as soon as next year, and the time and money for travel and leisure.  It’s all happening, inch by painful inch.

Husband and kids were never meant for me, I never wanted them.  But why?  I don’t know why I don’t want them while everyone else I know does.  There has got to be something bigger taking place.  Is this part of trusting the process?  The things we desire, do these desires come from something outside ourselves?  They seeded themselves within us, making us believe we have a choice and that it came from us, our decision, but what if it has to do with the process?

Desire and addiction are not the same.  Addiction is the opposite of trust.  Addiction is ego, it’s filling the void where trust should be.

I don’t know, I feel like, I don’t know…..I don’t know about any of this.  But it’s so fun to think about.  How I can formulate an equation that the universe abides by.  A formula that if I crack it, would unlock every answer to every question.  Making my wildest dreams come true.

I should freaking charge the rest of my members.

I will NOT watch another movie on my jailbroken fire stick tonight.  I will NOT.  I especially will NOT write a 1400 word blog post about said movie.

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I wanted to write about something else entirely but wrote this instead

I sold my soul these past few months (or years, who’s keeping track?) to accomplish something in order to accomplish something completely unrelated.  Goals that have nothing to do with massaging anybody.

You know what I hate the most?  Patience and conformity.  And that’s exactly what I’m doing each time I have to give a massage.  It’s like each massage is a therapy session in anger management and eating my humble pie.

I just started reading a book, it’s called “Presence” by Amy Cuddy and I HIGHLY recommend it.  It’s not one of those wishy washy metaphysical books about the law of attraction or creative visualization, this book talks more about the science behind what makes us tick.

There’s so many awesome things in this book, all of them tried and tested on actual human volunteers to back up these theories.

One of them for instance, is why do we have expressions?  But digging deeper than that, the stuff that expert lie detectors look for, are minute nano-expressions that give away a persons true intentions and feelings.  Our subconscious mind picks up on these escaped “nano” expressions and when we witness them, although we witness them subconsciously, we intuitively feel that person’s emotion due to our mirror neurons mimicking that same expression on our own face (even without our knowledge).  We wouldn’t feel their true intention if we didn’t also share that same expression the same moment the offender leaked it.

They tested this with people who just had botox injections.  Their faces were paralyzed and thus didn’t allow for these inconceivable micro expressions to be mimicked and because they couldn’t mimic, they were unable to pick up the true feelings and intent of the person in question.  Their intuition escaped them.  But it’s not intuition at all, it’s the fact that we can subliminally mimic other people’s expressions.  It’s not about trusting our “gut”, although it may feel that way, but it’s actual science at play behind the curtain.

I’m some-what manipulative at times, but I use this harmless evil for good.  When clients balk about this past election, no matter who they voted for, I mimicked their expression, understood exactly where they were coming from and agreed with them.  I did this for both Hilary and Trump fans.  No hair was raised on the back of anyones neck and fangs didn’t show, I taken the slick way out.

“There’s no way he’ll win, what kind of America will allow that?”  Or, “Trump at least tells it like it is, that’s for sure.  He wants to give America back to the people.”

It’s all BS, Hillary was better suited for the job, anyone could see that just by watching the debates.  But she was lacking likability and trustworthiness which was another awesome thing Amy talked about it her book, Presence.

As it turns out, according to numerous studies, there are two types of people in the world.  There are trustworthy people and then there are competent people.  We are unable to process a person in existence being both trustworthy and competent.  They contradict each other.

(This fits so well into the election this year).

The thing is, a competent person is less liked by the majority due to their ability to manipulate.  They might be trustworthy, but we don’t know for sure due to their high intelligence and manipulation skills.

For instance, it’s like saying, “How can you be so sure of that? How can you pull that off?  What if you’re just manipulating us?”

Whereas, a more likable person, a more trustworthy person, one who doesn’t hide nano-expressions, doesn’t hide anything, will spout his hopes, dreams and dislikes – at times, incoherently, but we trust him because of his fallibility.  His lack of intelligence to manipulate and schmooze.  Even if it means being an ignorant asshole.

The book explains it a hell lot better that I can.

And given a choice on whether to be competent or trustworthy, mostly everybody picks competence.  But even the highest achievers at MIT end up in menial positions due to their lack of social skills.  Competence equals untrustworthiness.  It equals lack of control to the little guys.  How can we control anything if we don’t know what’s really going on?

The fear of looking foolish kills personality and humility, trust is the only thing that matters.

But here is my TRUE reaction when watching the debate last Tuesday:  The setting?  At my friend Jill’s house with her Mother and her boyfriend all chain smoking, biting their nails freaking out that Hillary might lose.  Me?  I was secretly excited for one reason and one reason only; this is going to be a damn entertaining 4 years ahead of us.

Me thinking:  If this guy wins, ANYTHING can happen.  It’s a Simpsons episode, it’s not real.  Life is truly a dream of comical insane circumstances where all and anything you dream up is possible.

Hillary would’ve been just another boring president, making nice and calling the safest rational shots – the most coherent shots relevant to our current political views, but with Trump, he’s a loose cannon and knows shit about diplomacy.

Oh god there’s so much I want to write about but my brother gave me a Xanax and damn, my whole body is asleep except for my fingertips typing.

I hired a bunch of new therapists and my sick therapist is back taking clients, so my schedule has freed up a great deal.  I wish I can write about that.  I want to write about how awesome my day was today.

But I’m physically incapable.

Let me just write real quick about what else this books says; being present, being calm and level-headed, has to do with being an observer of the world.  The calmest, most clear thinkers  view others and not themselves when conversing.  They rarely say “I” or “me”, it’s always about the person they are interacting with.  It’s the anxious, depressed people who transfix and focus on themselves, giving little room for anything else.  Basically the selfish and fearful.

In my opinion, it’s the people who don’t know how to love.  (I’ll possibly write a post about that).

I already knew this!  I learned this trick way back and yes, I learned it because I broke down my own anxiety and self-conscious foibles into understanding that it’s a selfish derivative.  Only made real in my own mind.  The answer is out, not in.

She also stated that trauma is caused by a lost battle.  I recently learned this one, but I learned it before reading her take on it.  Of course she can back up her words with fancy studies, interviewing and testing volunteers and the like, whereas I just philosophized.  Poorly at that, but still….

I love reading books like this.  Books that I’m like, “yes exactly!”  It makes me feel less alone out there.  That others spend just as much time, if not more, on delving into the science behind the mind.  Stuff that’s not found in books yet.

Oh god I have to sleep….

I wanted to write about the Banach-Terski paradox amongst other things, it’ll have to wait.  Oh how I miss writing….

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Fuck the election

I just taken an oxycodone.  I know nothing about narcotics, only that this one is pretty popular.  My friend gave it to me a while back and I tucked it away for a rainy day.

I wanted to do some research before gulping it down and I found out that if I crush this little bugger instead of swallowing it, I can die.  My friend forgot to mention that little nugget of trivia.  If I chew and swallow, I might never wake up.

It’s 8:33 PM.  Well, actually it’s really 9:33 because of daylight savings.  We just fell behind today.

This pill is time-released.  That’s why you can’t chew it.  You shouldn’t even cut it in half.

I’m starting to get very sleepy.

That post I wrote, the one with the $$$ as its title, I just want to clarify that it’s still too early to know for certain if I’m actually netting $100 a day.  It’s too soon to tell.  It’s on par with someone announcing on Facebook that they’re one week pregnant.  Or that their boyfriend had just inserted his penis and taken it back out and now there might be babies (smiling and celebratory emoji’s).

Most pregnancy’s don’t even make it to full term, so this new found success of mine is like a week old fetus, not even that.  It’s the sperm still in the sack.  And not even a healthy sack.  It’s a 300 pound 40 year old virgins sack is where my success is.  Basically non-existant.

I’ve been working a lot.  An insane amount.  The president of the United States works less than I do and thus, the oxycodone that now resides in my gut.  Gently eking out blissful lullaby’s.

I need MORE therapists.  Here’s who I hired so far:  Karyl, Patricia, Igor, Debora, Austin and Lori.  All within the last 30 days.

And it’s still not enough.

I finally felt it today, the anger welling up inside.  It was unbearable and I hate myself for it.  How can I be angry that my business is busy?  How can I be angry that clients like us and that I finally have some extra dough?

Because I hate giving massage.  I hate it, detest it, I loathe it, abhor it.  And while I’m massaging, the phone goes unanswered, the emails, unchecked.  My new employee’s are clueless as to what to do (I haven’t had time to train them).

With each client I massage, I sink further and further into a wretched venomous anger.  I feel my horns, the scales on the back of my throat, an acidic burn.  I become the embodiment of evil.  Miserable.  The most miserable wretched person.  The most ungrateful, naive, spoilt bratty prat.

I don’t often feel anger and it’s amazing that I feel it under these circumstances – having to give copious amounts of massage.  I mean, who gets angry over that?  I mean really angry?  As much as I do?

One of my new therapists got booked last minute for a half-hour massage today and she asked if someone else can take it (aka me).  I wanted to punch her.

That’s what sparked my anger, my outrage, by her asking that.  Of course I said no.  What I really wanted to say was, “are you fucking kidding me?”

I was angry for the rest of the day, until I finished with my last client.  All because she asked that.

I added another massage room to the lease.  It’s a real shit-hole.  The amount of work that needs to be done is seismic.  And we need that room set up as soon as humanly possible so every time I have to massage someone, I get angry.  I get angry because I have NO TIME for anything.

Two of my co-workers asked if I was Okay – I had no idea, literally no clue, my aggravation was showing on the outside.

People are so caught up in the election.  Fuck the election.  I don’t give a shit about the election.  Literally, this year feels like a civil war between Trump and Hillary fans.  If you’re a Trump fan, Hillary fans will smite you, belittle you, call you names and same goes for Trump fans.  And it’s such a close race that the entire election is based off of smear campaigns.  Whoever has the biggest most recent scandal on Tuesday will be the loser.  Last week, Trump had the biggest scandal but this week, Hillary’s is bigger (maybe not bigger, but more recent).  It doesn’t matter how big the scandal is, as long as it’s not in todays paper, you’re safe.  Your policies don’t matter, only your character.  Only trust matters.  And only if you can be trusted TODAY.  Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today.

I think all Trump and Hillary supporters are idiots (sorry 85% of my Facebook friends).

Holy shit I’m tired.

I’m just tired, period.  Even without the oxycodone, I’m sick and tired.  Sick and tired thinking my reprieve is right over this last and final hill I have to climb.  It’s never the last and final hill, there’s always another.  And that’s where my anger comes from.

This little pill is acting like a sleeping pill, not much else is happening.  No euphoria or anything like that.  It’s BS.  At least my back’s no longer hurting.

I was cruising Facebook earlier and found out that China has a tradition of eating dogs for one week a year.  The facebook post was a petition to get it stopped.  The dog eating begins in 7 days.  There were pictures of dogs getting boiled alive and set on fire alive, I can NOT read stuff like that.  Each year, less and less Chinese are attending the event.  Most of them find it sickening.  There are protesters everywhere, it’s not a safe celebration anymore with so many activists these days and knowing that, makes me feel better.

But I can’t stop hugging and kissing my dog now.  I feel like by me loving him so much and taking care of him, I’m somehow helping the poor dogs in China, and the poor starving strays worldwide actually.  Like I’m giving them a big hug too.

If only I can see people the way I see dogs, you know what I mean?  People suffer too, they’ve been burned, molested, tortured….people suffer every day.  But you don’t see me hugging and kissing people like I’m hugging and kissing my dog (and all the dogs of the world).

I don’t get it.  Maybe people cancel each other out.  People make other people suffer, so by me loving people, that means I’m also loving the abusers, the molesters, the narcissists.  Yes, people definitely cancel each other out.  When I hug one person, it’s not like I’m hugging all the people in all the world.  Not like when I hug my dog.

 

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Filed under journal, philosophy, Politics, random thoughts, rant, Self help, work

Flat Earth

I googled Flat Earth theory because some asshole on YouTube said it’s where Bruce Lee got his powers from. I wasn’t expecting that it literally meant the world is flat.

There are hundreds of video’s about the earth being flat.  Books and blogs written about it.  I’ve never heard of a more crazier, zanier conspiracy theory than this.

Supposedly the North Pole is in the center of our flat earth and Antartica is the border that holds us all in and circles the diameter.  It’s actually really cool if you think about it.

Flat_earth

This explains why planes aren’t allowed to fly over Antartica and why the military won’t let anyone go passed a certain point.

The sun and moon are the same size, satellites are fake, stars are fake, not to mention the moon landing, we’re all under one massive dome like in the movie The Truman Show.  The earth doesn’t spin or rotate, everything revolves around us.

I’m not a believer in the earth being flat mainly because of my iPhone app that shows where all the stars and satellites are even if they’re below me.  Are the app makers in on the conspiracy too?

They have arguments for everything but can’t explain a simple app on my phone.  My phone which has more computing power than the Apollo spacecraft.

But this one guy in particular has a cool theory….none of his other cohorts mentioned it.

His theory is that the earth is smeared, superimposed just like with particles and waves.  Waves are broken down when measured, they are broken down into particle form.  This guy says the earth is flat until we look at it.  It’s a flat wave of possibilities when we turn our heads away.

Forget about the world being flat, let’s take a look at time.

Physic’s can prove that past, present and future exists at this very moment simply by utilizing Einstein’s theory of relativity.

If aliens are viewing us from lightyears away, they will see our planet as it was before dinosaurs came into existence. However, if those same aliens start heading towards our planet while continuing to view us, time will fast-forward and they will see into our future. Maybe like the doppler effect? Time slows when you move away from the object you’re viewing, but speeds up and condenses when you move towards it at light speed?

I don’t know, I’ve watched a ton of YouTube vid’s about time and they can explain it better than I can.  I don’t understand the math of it, but according to them, time can fast forward or go in reverse depending on where you are in space while looking at earth.  On whether you’re coming towards it or going away, and the math and the experiments are all there to prove it.  That all time exists simultaneous.

That’s more mind-blowing to me than having a flat earth.  Who cares about a flat earth when my future can be seen by extraterrestrials?  They can watch us like a DVD with a fast forward and rewind button.  We can be stacked on their shelves with hundreds of other DVD’s depicting the beginnings and endings of numerous worlds.

A class taught at their alien high school would be “The Past, Present, and Future of our universe 101” and earth will be one of the DVD’s they play on movie day.  The little alien children love movie day.   They rest their heads and close their eyes.  They zone out or pass secret notes to each other.

I personally believe in the hologram theory.  Aliens are merely viewing our hologram, it’s not actually real what they’re seeing.  We’re not actually real.  Even at this present moment.

Let’s view it from another angle (I have gobs of time these days).

Ok, we all have DNA, right? DNA is a blueprint of everything that we are down to our personality types and mood swings. What’s printed in our DNA is predestined to happen to our bodies sooner or later.

So let’s say (for analogy purposes) DNA is the originator, and your body is the hologram emitted from the DNA originator.  Your body is a hologram because there’s something on the inner that we cannot see, orchestrating everything on the outer that we can see.

So that means the DVD about earth is the outer observation of it, it doesn’t depict the inner.  It doesn’t show the DNA portion of it.  It only depicts the likely probability of our outcome, and not the actual.

If this is true, there are multiple, infinite dimensions occupying the same space as us, using our same resources (which are also holograms).

It’s like a ship that sailed over the horizon, you can still see it because gravity refracts the light from it, but it’s not really there.  The light originates from somewhere else.

The reason I came to this conclusion is because even our DNA can be altered with what we believe.  People suffering from severe cases of multiple personality disorder can change their eye color depending on who they are at the time.  Their hologram body can’t be mapped out with their DNA since they can change it at will.  There only exists probability.  And there’s an infinite number of them.

Take for instance, the double slit experiment.

With the double slit experiment, when one single particle is fired out at a time, no matter how many times they fire one particle with absolutely zero interference from it’s brethren to get in its way, it’ll always act like a wave thereby interfering with only itself.  It splits up and the multitude of possibilities interferes with its ultimate ending location.

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What does this mean?!!!!  Oh god I don’t know!  It’s ending location is guided by the laws of probability?

The picture above shows how a particle acts in wave form.  When the experimenter isn’t watching or measuring each particle, it acts like water.  Even if particles are fired out of the machine one at a time, still water.

But when the particle is being observed, it looks more like this:  Two lines of light for two slits.

tumblr_lowiwpSMq41qk5j50

 

two-slit-experiment-particles

I’m getting transfixed again…..oh shit.

And….it…..won’t…..stop…….

Maybe our souls are in wave form?  And our bodies are in particle?  Oh god it’s just too much for my little brain.  Too much.

So when aliens look at us from a distance, whether it be our past or future they see, it’ll look like a wave form.  All possibilities taking place at the same time.  All dimensions gathered together in one, but consciousness can’t grasp this concept so the wave must be broken down by the viewer, the aliens who’re looking at us.  The time dimension they see is completely by random.

I need a break from this.  I’m hungry.  I haven’t eaten all day.

Whenever I dig money out of my bra and throw it on my desk at the end of the day, I look at it and you know what I think?  “Gee, I wonder how much food I can buy with that.”

It’s always about food.  I freaking love it.  My brothers dog loves it too.  He got his Bark Box in the mail today and went nuts for it.  Now he’s depressed because he ate his treat for this month and has to wait until next month to get another.

He got a new toy too so he dragged it up on my bed with him, but it’s not enough to satiate him.

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I get depressed after eating something spectacular if I’m not completely full from it.  And I get depressed after doing something fun if I’m not completely worn out from it after.

As long as I’m full, and as long as I’m exhausted, I’m happy.  It’s queer when you think about it.  How most Americans work their tails off because they feel like they’re accomplishing something by being exhausted all the time and fed all the time.  And they’re too exhausted and too busy to know what they’re really missing.

Our brains tell us that exhaustion and fullness equals completeness, or satisfaction.  So we keep striving to reach that point over and over again.  At least I do anyway.  And my brothers dog too.

I got a pedicure.  My toes look pretty amazing don’t you think?  I guess that’s another one we strive for….satisfaction in looks.  It’s a new one to me, never much cared for it before I started getting fat.

I had my chin and upper lip lasered a few weeks ago and now I have zero hair on my face.  It took only that one visit.  10 minutes and $200 of my time and money.

I’m going to order take-out, come back home and watch a movie or something and I’ll continue this post later.

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What about our past?  Is that a hologram too?  To the aliens, yes.  But to us, it’s our story.  It’s what makes us unique.

I think about this stuff because I want to write a time travel book one day.

The only way anyone can grasp the concept of past, present and future plus all possibilities existing simultaneously is to experience emptiness.  That’s the only way.  And I experienced it for two seconds!  It’s actually real.  What’s out there in the universe, it’s in us too.

As for the Flat Earth people……

They want the world to wake up, for us to open our eyes.  To show us that we’re brainwashed and led to believe everything we’re told by the masses.  And I love that about them, but they’re essentially becoming their own worse enemy.  The eyes wide shut type.  They don’t want to listen to reason, just that they’re the new messiah exposing truth and liberating us.  I’m pretty sure the flat earth people are all religious zealots, which is fine but, whatever.

This one guy on YouTube sounds completely sane and rational.  Down to earth with a level head.  But if you dig around looking for ANYTHING, you’re going to find it thanks to the law of 5’s.  No matter how ridiculous it may be, you’re going to find it.

Here’s his video:

 

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How to Learn

In my last post I wrote about how schools should teach a class on how to learn.  To me, it makes perfect sense.

Here’s how I’d do it:

First I’d start with philosophy, predominately, Joseph Campell’s “A Hero’s Journey.”  Why?  I’ll get to that in a moment.  First let me explain in the simplest way possible, what A Hero’s Journey entails.

It’s basically the blueprint of every story ever made.  Short or long, same story, same blueprint.

2000px-Heroesjourney

There are challenges we face when we go against the norm.  When we shine just a tad brighter than required in our situation, there’s an unbalance.  There’s also an unbalance when we shine a little dimmer than the rest, and that’s okay too!  The story happens on the onset of unbalance, of change.

Beginning your adventure into learning how to learn with the hero’s journey will welcome challenges into your life big or small.  It will provide a framework on how to approach life’s problems, questions, and greatest mysteries without running from them.

Anything that may arise, anything out of the ordinary – something that you have not learned yet, is treated with respect and care.  Each QUESTion becomes a quest and the “ion” part of it is the molecular imbalance from not knowing the answer.

Oh god that’s dorky.

Okay ok, you get the idea though, right?  The idea is to not get distracted or bored when searching for an answer that’s not easily satisfied.  This method unlocks the blocks in your head, the blocks making you a complete imbecile.  Will you become a drama queen?  Maybe.  But that might become a fun-loving quirky quality that others find adorable.

All you have to do is treat each question or curiosity like a microcosm of a hero’s journey.  And that’s it.  No matter what age you are, you can start chipping away at those blocks in your head.

Basically, it teaches you not to give up.

While you’re learning about the hero’s journey, it’s especially important to accept yourself and the limits you unintentionally placed.  If you don’t accept yourself, that’s your first dimwitted block right there.  It’s nearly impossible to learn anything if you don’t give yourself a chance.  It’s VERY important to acknowledge your limitations.  Acknowledge all your negative thoughts, the low self-esteem, low worth, loneliness, stupidity, whatever they may be, accept all of them.  They are part of the quest.  They are vital to the quest!  Without these embarrassing and heart wrenching character traits and limitation, there would be no meaning to any of it.

Not only would there not be meaning, but it’s impossible to learn anything if you don’t accept and acknowledge your limitations.

Why is this important?  Isn’t it more important to wash away demons and scoff at them?

They’re important because they are part of you and before you embark on anything, you must accept everything there is about you.  The good and bad.  That is, if you ever want to improve.

But why?

It’s part of learning patience.

Never underestimate the power of patience.  Patience is more powerful than love, more powerful than addiction.  Patience can withstand anything if you truly have it.

When you understand what patience is, and not just the intellectual meaning of the word, that’s your window.  If you’ve already experienced this, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  With patience, you can literally accomplish anything in a relatively short amount of time.

Allow for mistakes.

I’ve had one experience with patience, just one!  And that one experience taught me its true meaning.  It’s not about “putting up” with someone or something.  Or taking a deep breath and allowing for slip-ups.

Patience, when experienced properly, is about change and evolving.  More like, stepping aside to allow room for something to happen.  And somehow, you know exactly what to do once you let patience take hold (once you step aside).  You learn in your own unique manner.  You step aside, but you are somehow fully engaged.

It’s motion in stillness.  Stillness in the mind, even though it’s active.  But not active in the things that normally occupy your attention.  It’s kung-fu, really.

Then you realize you’re experiencing something extraordinary.  Your inherent genius.

To gain this zen-like quality of patience, it has everything to do with time.  This is where patience and time are intertwined, but unlike it’s intellectual definition of the word, it has absolutely nothing to do with waiting.

The true definition of patience means that you have all the time in the world, so take your time.  Don’t rush.  Time is inconsequential.  It has nothing to do with waiting.  Nothing to do with inactivity.   Patience is stillness.  That’s all that it is.  And it’s essential for learning.

How do you teach someone patience?

My best bet is to do it with mindful meditation.  With meditation, you can see your own thought process and separate yourself from that which does not matter.

Why I’m horrible at learning

The way my brain is set up, I take the shortest route possible.  I’m “destination orientated” and want nothing more than to get the job done as quickly and as comfortably as possible.

I also convey thoughts and feelings with as little verbiage as possible.  I zip to the point.  I don’t like to think about the in-between fluff.

For example, if I were sampling wine, I wouldn’t say words like “it’s opulent taste has a creamy decadence much like that of a velvety waterfall of refined chocolate.”

Instead I would say, “that’s good.”

Unfortunately for me, it’s the in-between fluff where learning happens.  Where the neurons in your brain make the most connections.  Connecting not only your 5 senses, but memory as well.

Saying “that’s good”, is the lazy way out.  Not the Hero’s Journey way.

5 lessons will be devoted to describing things.  A lesson for touch, a lesson for sight, sound, smell, and taste.  The student must use all 5 senses to describe what they are seeing, tasting, touching, etc… And also a memory it reminds them of.

Doing this will cause the student to engage their “full” brain and not just the essential parts.

You don’t need a class to teach this, you can practice it on your own with anything you eat and drink.  Each time you eat and drink, describe it with all your senses.  You can do it in private, no one has to know.  It’ll only take a few moments.  Prepare yourself with a list of adjectives ahead of time.

Doing this will also teach appreciation and gratitude.  And not to scarf down your food without tasting it first.

My mini Hero’s Journey

Happened two days ago when I taken a small adventure to Brooklyn with my friend to see Erykah Badu.  We went to the concert, stayed over-night, and the next day drove around galavanting.

One destination was the Green-Wood cemetery to find famous people buried there, particularly William Poole, AKA Bob the butcher from Gangs of New York.

I was about ready to give up.  It was 100 degree’s and I was thirsty and hungry.  I also felt the repercussions of not having exercised for the past 3 years.

I usually never want to give up.  I keep at it until I’m fully satisfied but I’m realizing that with no exercise and poor diet, I don’t feel like doing shit.  I give up easily, I feel stupid, I never want to exert myself.  The lazier I get, the lazier I get.

My friend reminded me of my old self, the one who has the stamina to never give up.  We drove around and walked around until finally we saw Bob’s final resting place and a few other graves and landmarks.

The alter to Liberty was my favorite.  The miniature statue of Liberty at the cemetery faced the large statue of Liberty many miles away on Statin Island.  They had a clear unobstructed view of one another and they were saluting each other.

After the cemetery, my friend realized she stolen her brothers phone charger and wanted to return it to him.

“Oh shit” I thought.  “At this rate we’ll never get home and we’ll have to sit in traffic, find a parking spot and it’ll take hours.”

Me thinking – “If I were her, I’d mail it back.  Take the easy most comfortable route.”

But not her.  She wanted to give it back ASAP.

And I was right about the traffic, right about the parking, but once we were at the destination, I ended up hanging out with her sister-in-law at her soap making business, then grabbing some tapas at a wonderful bar.  I ate great food and met a fantastic person, two counting the bartender.

All because of fate.  It was a Hero’s Journey and instead of making the choice to opt out of it when it presented itself, my friend chosen the harder, more memorable journey.

I can’t believe how much my weight contributes to my decision making.  I never struggled with weight before, I didn’t grow up with it.  So I can see from an outsiders perspective how it impacts my life.  I can see it especially when I’m around someone who is more like my old self than my new one.  I’ve changed and it has all to do with weight gain.

Anyway, I’ve been writing this post for weeks.  If I think of adding anything else, I’ll do it in another post.

Exercising and getting in shape is definitely considered a Hero’s Journey.

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Filed under journal, philosophy