Monthly Archives: September 2018

Is it Chemistry or Convenience?

I filled in as a sub for my friend Nicole’s pool league on Saturday and used a new break cue that my brother gave to me.  I come to find out that he lifted it from the Cadillac Ranch.

It’s a good cue, one of those expensive cue’s that cost in the $100’s, and somebody left it there either by accident or not at that semi-crappy bar.

My brother – “If I didn’t take it, somebody else would’ve.”

I played my match and after I played, I decided to return the cue to the Cadillac Ranch.  I felt too guilty.  I didn’t care if somebody else lifts it, it weren’t gonna be me.

Luckily enough, the Cadillac Ranch is very close to Shooter’s in Southington so all I had to do was swing by and nonchalantly drop it off like an anti-thief in the night.

But it was a Saturday night and they had a $5 cover.  Not only that but I was already a few beers deep and feeling good.  So I figured, why not stay for a beer at least?  That’s when I remembered my new friend, Liz, whom I met a week prior, lives super close to the Cadillac Ranch.  I called her up and got her to meet me for a drink.

Then my friend Stephanie show’s up with her Bumble date.  Then my brother shows up.

I ended up closing the bar.

It’s funny how one good deed can lead to an awesome night and my new friend, Liz, is wonderful.

I already have a shit-ton of friends, I don’t need or want any more, but we have too much in common and when I’m with her, she feels like best friend material and at my age, the older I get, those BFF types are a rarity.

So, after Liz got off work on Wednesday, I took her to my family’s cottage in Rhode Island and we drank, played cards, watched movies, and at midnight we walked to the beach, as per tradition, I do every time I go to Rhode Island, and yeah, definitely BFF potential.

She’s never had a best friend before which is opposite of myself.  All I’ve ever had were best friends and feel that life is a little harder and sadder without them.

But I’m truly the worlds biggest cynic…..the thing is, looking back on all my best friends…..we were BFF’s out of convenience.  We came together, liked one another enough to hang out, but the thing is, as fate would have it, we had both TIME and ROOM in our lives at the exact same moment at the start of the friendship.  We had room for each other.  And the more room you grant a person to occupy in your life, the greater the friendship.

I hate to say it but it’s true.  Making room for someone is the most valuable part of the friendship.  Like in the Big Labowski, the Dude was best friends with Walter whom he didn’t even like, but they both had room in their lives at the same time.

Liz just so happened to meet me at a time in my life when I was suffering from crippling boredom.  The boredom I experienced didn’t last long, maybe a week or two, but like I said in my last post – I needed to do something about it pronto or my mind would be blotto.

She’s a Fortnite player.  In my last post, I was seconds away from downloading that game.  I come to find out that Liz is a Fortnite player and she invited me to her house last Tuesday for a play date.

We both have room for each other and we both have a ridiculous amount of shit in common.  But according to my theory, if she met me at any other time in my life – literally ANY other time, she’d be a forgotten Facebook acquaintance.

After I played Fortnite with Liz, I had my pool league.  My crush was there as always.  He’s married.  And I did something I regret.  At the time, it seemed like a good idea…

I told him how I felt about him but I did it in a way like when people say, “Man, if only you weren’t married, I’d totally be into you” sort of way.  Like an after-thought way of saying something.  In a “too late to change things” kind of way.

Old woman – “If only I was 20 years younger, we could’ve had something special.”

It was somewhat cutesy and complimentary.  Not at all meant to rile feathers.

It was wrong and selfish of me because the guy actually likes me.  It be different if he had no feelings for me, but he does.  And I shouldn’t have said anything.  He’s just so goddamed big and tall and ridiculously funny and smart.  Not to mention he’s half-black which to me, is sexy as hell.

But anyway, I digress….my 7 month old nephew is here upstairs.  I should say hi to him.

Leave a comment

Filed under journal

Don’t buy Fortnite Melanie oh please girl, don’t buy Fortnite

I did nothing all day yesterday except watch Ready Player One and Upgrade which were both rather satisfying to my anchored ass cheeks sinking ever so deeply into the memory foam of my bed.

I’m having a problem.  It’s been an entire week since I stepped foot inside my business.

I want to squish my face and yawn and stretch and move.  I want to get drunk.

I’m bored is what it is and I never get bored.  What a horrible feeling.  I can’t even write when I’m like this.

I read an article about people starting to rely heavily on Google instead of using their own memory/judgement.  According to the article, this is a good thing since it can free up valuable real estate in the brain allowing it to work more efficiently.  The hippocampus will remember only what is most vital and necessary, disregarding the rest.

I don’t think this is a good thing.  It’s not good at all.  Call me crazy, But I think it’s a bad idea to rely on ANYTHING.  My biggest argument being that we will stop making neural connections and seeing patterns.  It’ll put a halt to innovative thought.

I’m a thinker – I love to look at idea’s from all angles.  When someone tells me a theory, I don’t stop there and decide to agree with them, no, I look at their theory and see what’s missing in their assessment.  It’s like a game I play to find what’s missing.  But I wouldn’t be able to do this without relying on past experiences to help me make patterns and connections.

If a memory is gone, that little cluster of neurons that once held that memory won’t be there.  Google, with time, will shrink the human perspective.  We will be lost.  Just as it is with my small hippocampus that rely’s solely on GPS to guide me from point A to point B.  I’d be lost without GPS, just like I’d be lost without my memories to guide me into making the right decisions for myself with the help of using my god-given tools.

It’s like Google is the new God.  I’ll use my Google-given tools.  You know?

We’ll end up a society of dementia patients if we don’t have access to our “Google brain” for a day.

I suppose it’s no different from the hive mind theory, AKA, social media mind.  One mind makes all the calls and judgements for us – the collective – the people have spoken and as a collective, the people MUST be right and good because we are the people after all, right?

This post has nothing to do with Fortnite but I didn’t know what I wanted to write about when I started writing this.  It was either play a video game or write in my blog.

I can’t tell if I have too much stress or no stress at all.  My brain feels inoperable.  I don’t know what’s going on with me lately.  It’s like I too, am succumbing to this hive mind of no thought.  Perhaps when the body doesn’t move, the brain stops moving as well?  But what about Steven Hawking?  Perhaps when we aren’t suffering through something, the brain stops thinking up innovative ways to stop the suffering?

I don’t know but what ever is happening to me, I need to fix it pronto.  I need this bicycle trip more than anything really.


Leave a comment

Filed under journal