2017 Taxes

I’m finally getting my taxes done.  FINALLY.

Ugh, I’m in such a pissy mood.  I’m at Main Street Cafe and two guys are sitting next to me with their phones out and I swear to god it looks like they’re taking pictures of me.  One of them has his flash pointing directly into my eyeball.

I’m so fucking pissed.  I have a miserable scowl on my face.  Why anyone would want to take my picture is beyond me, unless it’s for a miserable face meme.

Some guy ordered a raspberry chai latte with almond milk.  That’s like the barista asking “How much gay would you like in your coffee?”

Man – “I’m going all gay today, thanks.”

Barista – “So we’re talking fruit flavors with lots of almond milk and instead of coffee you’d prefer a mixture of floral spices?”

Man – “Yes, I’ll have that.”  He dismisses the barista with a wave of his hand.  His reading glasses rest above his eyebrows on his forehead.

I can’t make this shit up.

Wow I’m an asshole today.  But that just made me LOL.  Thanks for that friend.

I’m at the coffee shop to do my taxes.  I swear there’s no other way.  It’s next to impossible to do it at home – I can’t tell you how hard it is, just take my word for it.

This post is for next year, so I can speedily do my taxes in one fell swoop.

For future Melanie, 2019 Melanie, the BEST WAY TO DO TAXES:

  1. Go to a coffee shop.  Bring your laptop, a notebook, and your checkbook.
  2. Add up all your checks.
  3. Check all debits in your Wells Fargo checking account.  Add them up.
  4. Add up Amazon orders.  Write down the amount spent each month.
  5. Check all debits in your Bank of America Account.  Write down all non-amazon, non-check debits and add them up.
  6. Go through all paper receipts.  Write them down and add them up.
  7. Log in to Turbo Tax

I’m still on number 5.  I just need to tally the numbers.

At this rate, I think I’ll be done filing my taxes by tomorrow.  And then…..freedom.  Sweet sweet freedom.

I’ve been having so much stress lately.  I’m mostly worried about money of course.  It’s always about money.  But besides money, I’ve been worried about filing taxes, getting the dryer fixed, getting through all these groupon couples massages, the lawsuit, and lastly, opening up business number 2.

All of this puts me in a super pissy mood.  I don’t want to do shit.  I shouldn’t be around people, honestly.

The dryer is fixed, but the vent still needs to be cleaned.  I’m waiting to hear back from the duct doctors.

Anyway, I should head back home.  I’ll add up all my paper receipts and tomorrow I’ll go to Cheshire Coffee to input all the numbers into Turbo Tax.  It’s actually not hard or time consuming, I’m just scared to see how much money I owe.  I’m always scared.

I had to be in work at 9:15 today for a client.  I shouldn’t complain about that since it got me out of bed and to the coffee house to do my taxes.  If I didn’t have a client, or if I had a later client, I would literally do nothing all day.  I’d sleep, eat, nap, watch Jessica Jones on Netflix, play Elder Scrolls online.  I hadn’t had a day like that in a very long time.  Today would’ve been one of those days for sure.

I massaged my client at 9:15, was done at 10:15, returned voicemails, went to the bank for change and here I am.  It’s 3:50, I been here since 11.  Damn!  Okay, I’m going.  I guess taxes are time consuming.

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