Today is Wednesday. On Monday, I had insomnia. I had insomnia by drinking one small bottle of Starbucks mocha latte, an impulse buy from Stop & Shop.
When I have insomnia, my mind goes into hyperdrive.
I thought of a new science fiction story about a young man who starts hearing voices. The voice tells him that it’s himself, from the future. His future self found a way to have consistent lucid dreams and through his lucid dreaming, he’s able to go out of body and into new dimensions of spacetime. He can travel back in time but only as a voice in the head of his younger self.
I’m picturing Chris Pratt for this character. A stupid, lovable Chris Pratt. His future self is also stupid and all he wants to do is save the world, but he doesn’t know how. They befriend a psychologist who treated Chris once he started hearing voices. He thought he was going crazy so he went to see a psychologist. It was the psychologist who convinced Pratt that he isn’t crazy, and together they team up to find ways he can use his gift to better the world.
I thought about this for 6 or 7 hours. Completely immersed in my new fantasy.
It’s such a weird thing, insomnia. I normally get sleepy around mid-night and fall asleep with no problem. It’s like hitting a switch. But with insomnia, I’m tired but not enough to hit the switch and when I want to hit the switch, I can’t find it.
Yesterday I had to brave the winter storm by going to work to let the Maytag man in to fix the dryer. He told me what I already knew. That the dryer was overheating due to our ostensibly long exhaust pipe. I’ll either need to vent the dryer inside the room itself, or get an inline blower for $150 bucks. But even with the blower, it might not be good enough. I’m going to try venting inside the room, but there are also disadvantages to that such as needing a dehumidifier and constant filter changes. And the heat will be stifling.
After that, I went to shoot pool in my league. Because of the storm, we were short players. Due to this fact, I had to be the sacrifice that night. Being pit against a 6 while I’m a mere 2. I was a 2 who’s gotten no sleep! I said that I’d rather not play, and to play our 7 against the 6 instead, but our 7 didn’t want to play either.
I ended up getting crushed, but two of my buddies were there and we ended up playing each other after our matches. All of us lost last night and we cheered each other up.
The problem with exhaustion is, at some point, adrenaline kicks on. It’s a vicious cycle. Exhaustion can in fact, end up keeping you awake! I tried focusing on my audiobook to tune myself down. I wanted so badly to write last night. My mind was on fire with so many questions and idea’s.
I can’t remember what time I fell asleep. No later than 2AM, but guess what time I woke up today? 2PM! And I woke up exhausted. I slept the whole way through.
My audiobook does a great job in putting me to sleep but it also ceases my ability to dream. Dreaming is one of the most fantastic things I’m great at. With dreams, I get to learn from my mistakes. It subconsciously repairs my brain to become in sync with my desires. Like with wanting to play better pool, dreaming about pool can make me a better shot.
There’s actual studies about this. I won’t get better at pool unless I play it so much that I dream about it. It’s the dreams that make us brilliant.
I have so many stupid ambitions and infatuations.
All I want to do today is play my game and hide from the world. I don’t want to think about anything or talk to anyone. But I have a client at 6:30.