I’m approaching my 8 year anniversary of my blog. I’ve been writing this shit for 8 freaking years.
I was 29 when I wrote my first post. Now, when I look back on it, I was so young. I could still do pushups and kicks. I didn’t realize how young I was back then.
I wrote differently too. I wrote more details about my everyday life than I do now. I wrote about what I did, what funny things people say or do.
I looked for things to write about. All I ever thought about was my blog. And now? I just don’t give a shit anymore.
Now it’s like I’m a whole other person. What do they say? Every seven years all your atoms are replaced?
So that means there’s not one speck of the old Melanie remaining from that first post written 8 years ago. Not one molecule. Not one iota. Nada. I’m disintegrated, vanquished, blown apart torn limb from limb.
But I’m still wearing the same underwear.
How does the human body keep replacing its useless old parts, but underwear stays the same? And how can 140 pounds of Melanie diminish into thin air over the course of 7 years? I shit myself out of my own body? Do I implode myself?
I’m trying to think about what I did today to tell you about. So I can write like I did in my old posts. The posts that were actually entertaining.
There’s more work involved with this manner of writing. It’s a bigger process to write about what I did rather than just tell you my thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings are easier.
What did I do today?
Let me just say that I wrote a lot back then. I wrote every time I went on break. So of course I’d run out of thoughts and idea’s to write about – I had nothing else to write about except for my everyday life. Perhaps that’s the reason my posts suck so much now? I stopped writing as much?
Okay, so today….let me think….
I kind of just want to play my video game right now. I’m sorta hungry too which is weird since I ate two street taco’s and an ahi tuna salad and drank 2 beers and a moscow mule.
So what did I do today? Nothing that really stands out honestly.
I woke up at around 10:30AM, played my game until I had to leave for work at 3PM. Once at work, Adonis and Jill were chitchatting, about what? I forgot. I was engrossed in my own world saying what a beautiful day it was.
I specifically remember trying to listen to them talk and my thoughts were literally; “I don’t care what they’re talking about. This is boring. I’m being sued. Where’s my phone.”
I massaged my client. It was a couples massage. I’m only selling Signature couples massages on Groupon as a way to make extra money and I take all the overflow clients from those couples massages. I basically only massage couples. And I make pretty good money doing it this way.
Damn, this is so stupid. My day is stupid. I think I lost the knack of perception.
I have to practice getting it back. I love reading my blog from back then.
After I massaged my client I went to happy hour with Kristina and Angela and now here I am back home. That was my day. And now I want to play my video game.
I’ll try again tomorrow. I’ll try being perceptive or whatever. I loved myself so much back then, I have to bring that girl back into focus. There’s only so much time travel paradox’s a girl can write about, now is the time to stop all that. I need to write about my actual life dammit.
I think it has to do with taking a hard honest look at my life. Writing all the gritty naked parts. That’s my homework for tomorrow. Think naked and gritty and capture it.
Oh and I forgot, I paid off that $3000 of debt I accumulated while on vacation for 2 months. Now all I have left is my one credit card and my car payment. My credit card is about $5,400 and I don’t know how much I owe on my car. Maybe $5,000? or $4000? Instead of paying them off, I stopped working and lounged around all day like I did last summer, and then I went on vacation for 2 months.
My excuse for not paying them off this time is that I need to pay my lawyer another $5000 and taxes are due soon. There goes my laying around time and my cross-country trip. Will my cross-country adventure ever happen? When was the first I wrote about that? The beginning of this blog 8 years ago perhaps?
The one trip I really want to take…..the one trip I dreamed about since I was 12. It’s just so freaking expensive.