Life is a series of constant recoveries

I got home yesterday from a weekend bachelorette party.  Only one of us threw up, so it wasn’t anything too crazy but still, it was the best time ever.  I want everyday to be like that.

12 of us girls went up to New Hampshire.  I went up the day before to pick up Steph from the Boston airport so we can spend the day there before our New Hampshire exertion.

But her plane delayed by 12 hours so that left me with 12 hours to kill alone in Boston by the harbor on a beautiful day.  I walked 10 feet to get Chinese take-out and stayed in our shoddy hostel watching TV until the 12 hours ran out.

I have no right writing a blog.  I’m a closet bore.  I stopped caring or being curious about anything.

I’ll provide you another example of this;

There were 2 girls at the party that I wasn’t acquainted with.  In my younger years I would seek out people I didn’t know and be the first to strike up a conversation.  But now I’m too tired for anything new.  I contemplated this as I sat next to one of the unfamiliar women with no interest in learning anything about her.  I compared my new self to my old self and this was an unmistakeable difference.  One I couldn’t overlook.

Rational Brain – “What’s changed?  Why are you like this?”

Me – “I lost interest is all.”

The past 4 years of owning a business really has kicked my ass.  It’s a different type of ass-kicking than your regular job.  But I hate blaming it on that.  Like it’s not a valid enough excuse.  I have different habits and priorities now than when I was younger but can it really stem from business ownership?  Or has my laziness simply gotten worse?

Rational Brain – “Maybe you’re still recovering from busting your ass all those years?”

Recovering…..

If that’s the case, than I’m in a cycle of continuous recovery.  Recovery from debt, weight gain, hangovers, lawsuits, broken hearts, strenuous exercise, loss, grief, stress……it never stops.

To help mitigate my plethora of recoveries, I’m planning on buying this in the near future:

It’s a Harley Davidson Tri Glide Ultra.  I’ve seen a bunch of them on the road lately and they all scream freedom.  Oh god I want one so bad.  It can change my life forever – change me as a person so I’m not always in “recovery” mode.  I’ll be in “life’s a blast no matter what” mode.

They say owning a motorcycle isn’t a hobby, it’s a lifestyle.  This trike will help me get through life in a certain style.  Who wouldn’t want that style?

Before I buy this bike, I’m still planning on buying an electric bike first for my cross-country trip.  I’m choosing an ebike first mostly due to the benefits of exercise and I’d rather not see my country from a highway perspective.  First ebike then tri bike.

When I get back home in November from walking the Camino, I have to be sure to keep the weight off and still work at the same time.  So I’m going to join cardio kickboxing near my house.  I have the place already picked out.  And I won’t stuff my face like I did last time I got back from my walk.  It’ll all be for nothing.

I’m not sure what’s worse, weight debt or money debt.  Weight debt is always in your face screaming at you from your closet full of clothes that don’t fit.  Money debt weighs on you differently.  It makes planning your future harder while weight debt is more in the present moment.

As of now, I hardly think about money debt anymore.  I’m affected more by the impending lawsuit than anything else really.  But I can’t recover from something until it’s actually over. It’s sort of hovering over my head, stealing my breath every time I think about it.

You can’t recover from something that’s ongoing and the lawsuit is the only problem I have that’s ongoing.  All other issues are being resolved or have already been resolved.

But I must say, this has been the best summer I’ve had in a long time despite the lawsuit pangs.

Before my trip to NH, I went up to RI with Jill, her mom, and our friend Andrew came up for the day to meet us.  I was the only one who threw up, so it wasn’t anything too crazy, but it was a good time.  This whole summer has been filled with good times.  I never want to go back to working 70 hour weeks and I won’t have to as long as I have my office manager.

I still can’t believe my plan actually worked.

According to this plan, I was to retire this month (August) but it happened a few months sooner.  I have not paid off my debt entirely and instead, retired a few months ahead of schedule.

I would like to pay off my debt when I get back from the Camino, but that’s no longer a priority.  My cross-country trip is my priority now.  I’m telling my financial planner to take out $1,600 a month starting in December and ending in June.  That’s when I’m leaving.  I’ll have almost $10,000 saved for it.  $5,000 of that money goes towards the bike itself and all the equipment I’ll need.  The other $5,000 is for motels and food which I doubt I’ll be needing that much, but I like to be prepared.  Whatever is left over goes towards paying my debt.

*************************************

Aside from all that, I’ve gotten into audiobooks about video games.  This is a real thing, a new genre.

They’re not about Playstation or Xbox, they are about virtual reality games of the future.  MMORPG’s.  Open world role playing games in virtual reality.

I can NOT stop listening to them.  I love them more than any other genre known to man.  So much so that I want to write my own.

One guy wrote his own during his downtime and sold 5,000 copies on audible – possibly more.  People are pestering him about his third book asking when it’ll be released.

Author – “I do this in my free time.  I have no set schedule when it comes to writing so I don’t know.”

My head is already full of idea’s.  I want to write one because it’s fun, and not for recognition or money.  I really really want to write one.  None of my friends would have interest in reading it, but I don’t care.

 

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