Holy Shit I’m a Millennial

People constantly complain about Millennials not wanting to work but still expecting everything to be handed to them.  I never suspected I was one of these people until last night.

I don’t want to do anything.  I don’t want to work.  And I expect I will be taken care of, always.

But what happens if all Millennials are like me?  Who’s going to make our buttons?  Who’s going to sell me toilet paper?

The people who are stuck in debt and/or have to take care of a family.  Those people can make buttons and sell toilet paper.  I ain’t doing it.  It’s not for me.  I deserve better.

I’m a goddamned fucking Millennial.

I was born in 1980.  The tail end of generation X and the start of the new era of Millennials.  I got the best of both worlds.  Kids of generation X consisted of punks dressing up like homeless rockers and the girls dressed like farmers.  I dressed like a homeless farmer which I still do most days.

Gen X’s only culture is that of pop.  We basically have no other culture.  Our culture is fleeting and superficial.  Based purely on enjoyment, on looking cool.  Idolizing famous people simply because they are famous.  We are a generation without substance.  A generation that lacks any real hardships.  If you consider our holidays as culture and tradition, we are gifted presents on those days – presents we didn’t earn, but expect we’ll receive none-the-less.  We feel like we deserve them.  Are entitled to them.

Our parents come from a different era.  An era where if they didn’t work, they didn’t eat.  If their family grew in size, the husband would build an addition to the house himself.  Not expecting anyone else to do it for him.  And he’d take pride in it.

I believe my generation lacks pride.  Kids who grew up playing video games 24/7 and crying if they didn’t get a toy in their happy meal, how can they have pride?  They grow up soft and doughy, needing glasses from having their faces shoved in front of a computer screen all day.  They don’t care if they can’t lift a 2 by 4, someone else will do it for them.  They’ll call their Grand-pappy over to have them fix their plumbing problems or electrical work.

In our parents (possibly grandparents) generation, women weren’t treated equally in the job-force which in turn made them devout mothers and care-takers.  Our Dad’s brought home the bacon and our Mother’s served it to us on expensive plates ironically made in China.

If you broke a plate, you would get scolded.  Not like today where parents tell their kids, “don’t worry hun, it’s just a plate.”

Respect and appreciation for material possessions has plummeted.  That’s one key factor that give Millennials their attributes.  Their appreciation lies with what they don’t have.

Back in the day there were no cheap Walmarts, no GPS, no cell phones.  No franchises that cut labor costs.  A pair of shoes cost a weeks wages. We are a generation of Walmart shoppers who never get lost and all our friends live in our pockets via smart phone.  Have we ever known fear?

The best part of the day for a husband was dinner-time and the best part for the wife was afternoon soap-opera’s and putting the kids to bed.  Simple pleasures and a simple yet less convenient life.

The revolution started over a hundred years ago.  The womens suffrage movement which completely obliterated marriage as the sole means of survival for upcoming generations.  We’re a generation standing on that movement.  It’s our foundation.  We are born in freedom that we didn’t earn ourselves and we don’t know what to do with.  Divorce comes easier with each passing year.

We’re a generation expecting choice and freedom.  If something goes against our expectations (such as work), we get confused and don’t understand what we did wrong to deserve such hardships.  And since we’re not a prideful generation, we’re not above whining like spoiled doughy brats with ruddy cheeks and buggery noses.

And I’m one of them.  I’m a stupid lazy Millennial.  The only thing I have to contribute to the future of the world is my uterus which I refuse to do on accounts it will stifle my freedom and kick me back into the middle-ages of having to make buttons and sell toilet paper.

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I’m going to be 50 in 12 years.  I just realized that today over lunch with a friend who will also turn 50 in 12 years.

The first 12 years of my life were monumental.  They lasted a lifetime.

Me thinking – “Wow I’m only 12 and I know so much already!  I’ll be a freaking genius by the time I’m 24!”

I remember thinking that when I was 12.

Little did I know that my brain would stop developing that year.

12 years ago I was 25.  I’m still that same 25 year old.  In fact, I’m still that same 12 year old.

Knowledge doesn’t accumulate.  It doesn’t double every 7 years like with a savings bond.  My question is why?  The first 12 years (not counting my 13th year since that’s the year hormones kick in), I learned everything I needed to know for the rest of my life.  I understood the basics of it.

All I’ve done since then is refine and enhance the knowledge I learned in my first 12 years of life.  The only thing I added was inches to my height.

It doesn’t have anything to do with how much I retain over the years.  It has more to do with values.  In those first 12 years, I established my values.

This is all my opinion, not backed up by science or surveys.  Read for entertainment purposes only.

I believe my entire personality, my true character is established solely on my values (maybe I learned this in psych class?  I don’t know).

And if my values were instilled in me by the tender age of 12, all the subsequent years that followed has either hardened my resolve or weakened my soul.  In other words, since my beliefs have already been established, they are either reinforced or broken down over the course of time since adolescence.

I believe (still, this is all conjecture), that we go through cycles of being broken down and built up again.  Like a spiral, the golden ratio.  When we start sucking our spirals back into ourselves like a strand of spaghetti, back to its origin – we break down.  But when we exhale it all out, like we’re giving, not receiving, we are essentially growing and strengthening our character.  Widening it enough to fit in more of the world.  Until that is, we get scared to death and have to suck it all back in again.

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The older we get, the harder it is to break us.  Like a bone that’s already been broken, we’re harder to break the second time.  And because of this, we become less pliable, more set in our ways, afraid to venture outside protocol.  We lose our fascination and wonder because we’re too tired to break down our belief system yet again only to have to rebuild it once more.

Unsubstantiated pride is the glue that holds belief structures together.  But it doesn’t make us stronger, it makes us brittle.  Stubbornness equals brittleness unless the pride that binds has merit.

If my beliefs, my value’s, my personality and character were all imbued in me by the time I was 12, that also means that what I dream of most in life has also been determined.  My fascinations and curiosities were apart of me from the start.  Before I threw them overboard to the wretched urchins of the sea.

It’s our fascinations and curiosities that contain our unique gifts.  And because of their fragility, they are the first to go when life gets messy.  “Jettison all that is unnecessary for fear it will sink us.”

The generations that came before us, most of the people who lived in those times were tied to a repressed culture.  A culture in which they had to work in order to survive, their well deserving pride provided them with existential purpose.  They worked hard to figure out puzzling problems, knew how to read maps and stars.  They couldn’t refer to a YouTube channel on how to make the perfect turtle soup, they had to learn by trial and error.

They had to chop off the chickens head themselves, sort of speak (or literally).  A type of appreciation Millennials know nothing about.

These days, every answer we seek is a mouse click away.  Every inch of the world has already been mapped.  All the awesome idea’s ever fathomed can be admired on Pinterest while you tilt your head in envy and murmur, “I wish I thought of that.”

We might be the very first generation who got an applause for using the potty.  We get applauded for accomplishing small everyday necessities while not having to use our heads for life’s most intricate problems – we have Google and psychiatrists for that.  All the legal drugs at our fingertips accompanied by copious amounts of information that we didn’t work out ourselves.

There’s an answer for everything and it’s either in the form of a pill, or a YouTube video.

Millennials didn’t earn their stubbornness the good old fashioned way by trial and error.  They learn it from pop culture, they are swayed by the popular vote.  They go with whatever thought process is in style at the time.  They depend on others to tell them how to think or how to feel because they never had to work out problems on their own.  They value the information inside a computer more than they value their own judgment.  And this was infused in them before they turned 12.  The most crucial years for discovering individuality and purpose.

They’ll become brittle, weak adults with no heart in the marrow of their bones.  No merit infusing their belief system.

We’re sucking in that strand of spaghetti more than we’re expanding its reach.  We’re more likely to kill ourselves over feeling helpless and hopeless rather than take pride in what we already have or do.  How can we have pride if every 6-year old can earn a black belt simply by showing up for class and paying his dues on time?

Unsubstantiated pride is the blunder of todays youth.  And I’m sitting on my throne as the Mother Queen of all Millennials.

I was born lazy.  It taken me 2 long weeks passed my due date just to leave the womb.  And although I was 14 at the time the internet went global, it became the love of my life.  Almost as if I knew it was coming and I merely waited all the preceding years until its arrival.

I don’t think, I click.

I don’t create, I copy.

I don’t cut off the proverbial chickens head myself, my mom buys Purdue at the grocery store.  And the chickens of the future won’t even have heads.

You don’t have to expend your energy by judging or hating me for any of this, I already hate and judge myself.

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Everyone is born with a gift.  Everyone’s life embodies Joseph Campbell’s philosophical story map.  The same map that every story ever told has used.

This image is where I got the idea for the spiral I mentioned earlier.  Constant change and constant adaptions that spiral out and build off the old.  In my depiction of it, you’ll never arrive back where you started, it’s never a full circle.  Eventually the Hero gets tired and decides to plop down once and for all.  He’s done, he’s had it.  Enough bullshit.

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I drank coffee today.  You see what happens when I drink coffee?  Almost 2000 words, that’s what happens.  The majority of it gibberish.

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Filed under philosophy, random thoughts

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