Well, shit.

One of my therapists is suffering from a weird rash on her arms.  It spread to under her nails and up her biceps.  Her doctor said they’ll probably fall off.  The nails, not the biceps.

Her – “Mel, just look at this!  Look at this!”

She pulled a ripped up crumpled piece of paper out of her purse.  A receipt for a prescription.

Her – “Isn’t this sick?  Look at the price!  It’s disgusting.  I ripped it up when I seen it and you know what my doctor said?  After I bought it?  To stop taking it, he has a better one that’s stronger.  Can you believe that?!  It’s disgusting.  Why didn’t he give me samples first?”

The prescription cost her over $1700.

She’s right.  It IS disgusting.  It makes me sick.

But you know the worst part?  She’s taking time off until she’s better.

I’m fuuuucked.

Fucked fucked fucked.

It’s weird that I hired those 3 ladies when I did.  I mean, I was following my instincts when I did it.  I felt a strong urge to hire new people as soon as possible and now, my most requested therapist is out of action.

But those 3 ladies aren’t enough to replace her.  I need a new therapist pronto or the whole business will crumble, or worse, I’ll be put back on the scheduler.

Yesterday I contacted 3 more ladies that applied on Indeed but I haven’t heard back from them yet.  I’m running out of options.

This is all happening 3 days after selling more couples massages on Groupon.

This is my life, it’s always going to be something.  But it could be worse, I could have a severe rash on my arms, lose my fingernails and pay $1700 on useless medicine.  I mean SHIT that sucks.  And for that to happen to a massage therapist?!

I’m miserable 75% of the time.  I’m sleeping for the other 25%.  But I should be freaking thankful!

I am thankful, I’m grateful, I’m relieved the business survived Evil August 2015, but I’m just so tired.

If only you knew….so many people request her…..and now it’s just Adonis, my male therapist, who works past 3pm everyday.  I NEED help.

This is just one more thing I have to finagle myself out of.  One last predicament before I can exhale from it all.

My problems at the moment are:  Too many clients, not enough therapists.  Most clients are MEMBERS who will soon cancel because they can’t book.

What I have to do:  Hire a new therapist ASAP, massage a bunch of people, keep the place clean, payroll, scheduling, taxes, stock, massage a bunch of people, return emails, texts, phone calls, paint new massage room, carpet new massage room, decorate new massage room, massage a shit ton of people, check email once every 30 minutes, go to the store to buy bleach and laundry detergent, order more ink for the printer, fix the 5 gallon lotion pump……Can’t fix the 5 gallon lotion pump so order a new one for $14.  Install it and get lotion all over yourself and then wash your hands with soap you need to refill.  Then give a 90-minute massage.  Clean the toilets.  Go home.

Never go outside, never wear any clothing besides all black massage attire.

So yeah, I can’t help being miserable 75% of the time.  I don’t complain though, only in my blog I complain.

And I started taking gummy vitamins that just so happens to also make me shit.  There’s no rhyme or reason to when this gummy shit will happen.  The only time I know for certain is two minutes into giving a massage.  After 2 minutes of starting any random massage, usually a 90-minute massage, I have to vehemently shit.

I switched to taking them at night, hoping it’ll work into my normal morning routine but no, I still have to vehemently shit 2-minutes into giving a massage.  No matter if I take them at night or in the morning.  Why?  WHY?!

I want to stop taking them but I’m so unbearably cheap that it feels like I’d be wasting money.  I bought 3 big bottles of them too.

I just decided to take one at night and one in the morning and see how that goes.

Always finagling myself out of something…..


I saw a worm in my driveway today.

You know how worms randomly appear on asphalt?  Usually after it rains?  Well, I seen one today, only, it was still alive.  Without hesitation I picked it up and threw it on the lawn before questioning what I was doing.

Me – “What the hell was that about?”

Rational Brain – “In the movie, Seven Years in Tibet, the Buddhist monks saved worms from being torn apart when Brad Pitt was digging the foundation to a movie theater.  Saving a worm isn’t crazy, don’t feel crazy.”

Me – “Gee, thanks Rational Brain.”

It’s just bizarre that a person like me, who’s miserly and sulky 75% of the time, just wants to be left alone, can pick up a dying worm without even thinking anything of it.  Of course I’m thinking now about it, but I mean really?  And if I really think about it, I’d rather pick up a dying worm instead of a lucky penny.  You know, if they were side by side.  A worms life is more important to me than a penny which may or may not have luck.

Anyway, it’s bed time.  It all starts again tomorrow and I’m never in a rush for that to happen so I’ll listen to a bit of my new audiobook, Behind Closed Doors, it’s really good so far.

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