Patience Padawan

Last night was the first time I slept soundly with my C-PAP machine strapped to my face.  It taken me three attempts at getting used to it and last night it felt natural to sleep with it.  I fell asleep at 3AM after binge watching shows on Hulu that needed catching up on and woke up today at noon.

I did nothing today but lay in bed listening to an audio book, The Nightingale, by Kristin Hannah.

My life is good right now.  Sleep, time-off, and no stress was what I worked so hard for.  But during those hard times, I dug myself so deep in muck that now, although I’m content laying warm in my bed with my book, I’m just sitting, percolating inside compound interest that morphed itself into prison walls enveloping me.

I want to get up and travel again.  I actually want to walk the Camino again!  Even though I hated it and couldn’t wait to be back home doing exactly what I’m doing now (nothing).  I want to walk it again.  I want to walk it again because I hated it.  I want to keep walking it until I don’t hate it anymore.

But all I can do is look forward to the end of this month.  To the time if and when I can pay off a substantial portion of my prison.  Dissolving one bar at a time.

I sold 87 Groupons so far.  238 left to go.  When all gets sold, half my prison will be gone.

But I hate waiting.  Life is too short to wait.  But once I set my mind to something, it’s impossible for me to multi-task.  This is all that I will think about until I sell all 238 of those Groupons.

I have so many plans once my debt is paid.  So many.

 

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