Reparation

I started selling groupons again about a week or two ago but it’s a soft sell, I’m not selling them all at once like I initially planned, but about 50 or so a month.  This way I don’t have to put myself back on the schedule.  I can retain my weekly (lofty) 7 days off.

This means my debt will slowly be chipped away and not lobbed off in chunks like I wanted.

With me it’s either all or nothing, no chipping away, no long hauling it, no prolonged pain.  It’s do or die.  And I’m relentless in my pursuits.

But here I am taking the painful long haul towards paying off my debt because I don’t want to work.  Slowly chipping away at it.  Hi Ho Hi Ho.

It sucks.  Prolonging this agony of debt.  I’m about $40,000 in.  A little over two years ago, I was less than $3000.  Basically nothing.

I made a chart.  I charted all of my debt, all my loans and credit cards so I can keep track and stay focused.

This is all I can think about these days.  The chart.  I stared at it for 10 minutes last night.  Zoning out before going to sleep.  I couldn’t stop looking at it.  Like, looking at it would somehow change the shitty situation I gotten myself in.

I almost had to add to my debt this month.  Last week, the last week of March, I was going to be $1000 short for April’s rent money but luckily I made it up in sales during these last few days.  I spent over $1000 on stuff that needed to get done for the new place so naturally I was $1000 over-budget.

Luckily I made it up.  Just barely.

March was a long freaking month.

Anywho, it’s April first and I charged all my member clients so I’ll be $7000 richer in two days.  And Groupon will send me a check for a little over $3000 by the fifth.  Well, I’m guessing I’ll get it by the fifth and it’ll be $3000.

I can actually start paying off my debt.  I’ll have an extra $4000 this month at least.  All going towards my whopping $40,000.

I cleaned my room, it just needs to be vacuumed.  Everything is intricately organized.  Everything at work is organized, my debt chart is organized, my bedroom, my car, everything in it’s rightful place.

I pay around $2000 a month towards my debt, but it doesn’t budge.  It doesn’t want to go down.  But if I tack on another $4000, I’ll be paying $6000 a month towards paying off my debt and divide that by $40,000, I can pay the shit out of it in about 6 or 7 months if I stick with the plan and all goes smoothly.

I found a condo in Cheshire for less than $100,000 (condo’s in CT are freaking expensive!), and the mortgage for something like that would be less than what people pay for in a rental so long as I can put $20,000 down.  I’ll own something, build equity in it, and not throw my money away like I would be doing with a rental.

So that’s my goal.  If I’m seriously making over $1000 a week in net sales, this humble dream is doable.

Since I moved, I don’t worry about sheets anymore.  I don’t worry about rooms not getting set up or not heated to the proper temp.  Essentially, I have more free time now than I did in like, ever.  That’s why my room is clean.  That’s why I’m organized.

The client/therapist ratio is spot on accurate.  Everyone has clients but nothing overwhelming.  Nothing that would require me being put back on the schedule.

My life is near perfect.  This is the end of my anguish.  My therapists get paid on the 7th and I’m a bit curious to see how much I’ll have left in the bank after I pay them, plus quarterly taxes are due this month.  The smart thing to do is to wait until the end of the month to lob off a portion of my debt.  Whatever money is left over at the end of this month goes towards my debt.

********************

It’s Sunday, April 3rd, and I have $200 in my bank account.  I still haven’t been paid.  This is the most destitute I’ve ever been in my life but by tomorrow I should have $9000 lovingly placed into my businesses account.

I’m $40,000 in debt, have 7 employee’s to pay, and I have $200 freaking dollars in my bank account.

This is the year of reparation.  I’ll not see a dime of that $9000.  I’ll not see a dime for a very long time.

I’m so freaking tired right now.  I’ve been trying out my mom’s old C-pap machine and it keeps waking me up in the middle of the night.  I fall asleep with it strapped to my face and wake up with it off.

I’m going to keep sleeping with it though.  I got to get used to it.  I self diagnosed myself with sleep apnea so according to Dr Mel, my primary physician, I have to sleep with the damn thing on.

I’m watching this really strange movie on Netflix called Asthma.  It got shitty reviews but I like the actress that plays in it.  They’re shooting the movie in downtown Waterbury, the next town over.

Guy actor – “We call it dirty water.”

Actress – “Is it safe?”

Guy – “No, look around, it’s not safe.”

I used to take joy rides to Waterbury with my friend Jessica when I was 16.  We went to the poorest parts and hung out with black men.  I used to think it was a fun adventure.

I have to get some sleep.

 

 

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