I just had a trippy dream. I wasn’t lucid for most of it, I was so far gone away from my conscious self that I had no control over the person I was in this dream. I didn’t even look like me. But I remember it was a very long dream with strong emotions involved about love, loss, and true godly belief in oneself.
A king was in my dream. I hated this king for teaching me hard lessons but I didn’t know he was teaching me at the time of his treachery. Everything he did, he did so I would learn.
I don’t remember hardly any of the dream, only the very end when I was becoming lucid. Some people came and were taking me away from the king and I turned to him one last time and said, “do you exist in real life? Where do you live?”
King – “Does that even matter? The only important thing is for you to remain focused and in control.”
I was pushed out of the kings quarters and arrived in front of what looked like an angel. Just like Mother Mary with wings. There was a ladder next to her and she was holding up a curtain as though waiting to reveal a thing behind it. She was counting (non-verbal) and I understood that she was counting months.
I intuited that she counted 3 months and four days, then she lifted the curtain and there was a baby laying in a cradle.
That’s when I woke up and grabbed the notebook that I keep by my bedside for emergencies like this.
Me thinking – “Was it 3 months and four days or four months and 3 days?”
I’m pretty sure it was 3 months and four days.
Today is March 14th at 5:30 in the morning. I didn’t want to wait to write about this when I normally wake up. The dream is already pushing itself out of memory.
So, 3 months and four days from now will be June 18th. 4 months and 3 days will be July 17th. But it also could have meant that 3 months from now, on the fourth day of the month the reveal will happen. June fourth, or July third. June fourth and July third are very strong possibilities. My guess would be June fourth.
But I mean shit, right?
The last few days were almost blissful to me. Everything on my to-do list, everything I needed to get done with the business move has gotten done and since I moved, I no longer stress about sheets or any of the other stresses I had at the old business such as the heat not kicking on. The business is running smoothly even while I’m not there and this last week alone we made over $1000 in sales.
I feel like I can finally rest. I went out Saturday night, which I never do (because of work) and gotten so unbearably drunk – too drunk. I don’t remember half the night. I never get like that, but I discovered my new favorite beer, Sam Adams Cold Snap, and drank several of them with some shots. Cold Snap has 5.3% ABV and Bud Light, my regular go-to, has 4.2%. It doesn’t sound like much of a difference but it hit me hard.
I learned not to do that anymore. I forgotten what it’s like.
But besides that, my brain is starting to revert back to its thinking mode. The dreamer mode. The mode that wants to blog and travel and read and paint pictures.
As soon as my business became settled, as soon as I settled into my newly deserved free-time, I floated there. Down the corridor of possibilities. Perhaps that’s why my crazy dreams are back?
It’s for this reason why I don’t want to work. When my brain is hooked on survival – just work and keeping afloat – who I am disappears and I don’t wake up at 5:30 in the morning to write about a dream I just had – the dream wouldn’t have existed in the first place.
How can I describe it? It’s like settling myself into a nook. Where time is synonymous with freedom and I’m safe in my nook. All I have to do is search. To find myself in one place and look around, then walk over to somewhere new and have a look there. Looking at the same stuff, but with different perspectives. From different angles.
This new-found freedom won’t last very long however. I’ll be selling those Groupon deals again soon. But the swoon of clients will eventually trickle off again and when they do, half my debt will be gone with them.
As Abu Nahasapeemapetilon always says, “thank you come again.”
Not out of hot water yet, but I have myself a nice size bucket to bail it out in the meantime.