I was watching Continuum the other day, the episode where Kiera freaks out and threatens an asshole cop, her CPS turned itself off and the android counselor appeared to evaluate her emotional stability.
You – “And he threatened to wipe her memories that triggered the emotional outburst?”
Yeah, that one!
She traveled back in time from the year 2077 and left her son in the future. It was his birthday that day, and she wasn’t in the mood for shit. The android counselor had to make a decision to extract the memory of her son if she didn’t find a way to get past her emotions.
Her solution was as follows (not word for word, or even close to being word for word):
Kiera – “I’m okay now. I know what I have to do. I have to accept that I may never see him again. I might never be able to go home again. I have to accept that. I can hope to see him again, but I have to accept the worst.”
And the android disappeared and her CPS was turned back on.
This is the exact same thing that happened with my business. I didn’t want to accept the worst. I didn’t want to accept my business closing down and having to file bankruptcy. But I learned on my own, after gut-wrenching pain, that accepting the worst is the only way out of it. This is what it means to face your fears. You can’t beat them, you’ll never be able to beat them, you just have to accept them. Accept the shit out of them until they disappear.
This is incredibly cathartic. It’s healing potential should not be over-looked and I’m stoked that they put it in a TV show.
Anyway, the last 3 days of my life were stolen away by none other than candy crush. I had to delete it from my phone today.
Each level, no matter how impossible it seemed to be, was beaten. This kept happening over and over again until I realized, “I can beat every stinking level of this stupid game and for what? What’s the point?”
Video games are different. There’s a story-line, amazing graphics, and a clear ending. With Candy crush, there IS no ending. And they purposely made it addicting by using the skinner box method.
Scientists found that a small rodent trapped in a box that has to push a lever for food will learn to push it for food. But it will only push it when it’s hungry. But if the button randomly gives out food, the small rodent begins to push that button much much more…even when it’s not hungry, because there is now a random reward.
I went on YouTube to find out what’s at the end of candy crush and it says nothing, only “to be continued.” There’s no bells, whistles or fireworks, just “to be continued….”
I downloaded the game about 4 days ago and it taken my life away. I didn’t write, didn’t paint, visit friends, go out – I did nothing but sit here feeding my ever fatting face with mom’s homemade comfort food. All for the rush of an explosion and several cascading moments of candy crushing bliss.
When the game wouldn’t let me pass on to the next level until a certain amount of time passed, I went back and tried to make all my levels 3 stars. I never seemed to run out of lives. Facebook people kept handing them out like, um, candy!
Anyway, the saga has ended. I will not be playing anymore phone games aside from sim city. It’s not too addicting and I can’t do a damn thing with it until I’ve collected enough tax to buy my mass transit.
With all my new free time, I’m going to write a book. I mean it this time. The idea popped in my head yesterday and I’m itching to go to the coffee shop and start writing it. I already have all the resources, the experience, and stories.
It’s going to be about how to open up your own Massage business. It sounds boring and extremely targeted to a select group of people, but I’m going to make it into a funny memoir of my attempts. I’m going to start writing it now and by the time it’s almost finished, it’ll be around the same time I’ll be in the profit zone again. So it can end on a happy note.
I already have my prologue written out here. Of course I’ll tweak a few things, and possibly throw in other stuff from posts around that time. I can’t believe it’s been almost four years since then. I NEVER would have expected that I’d be the boss of 8 people and running my own place. Especially since I wanted to get out of the business.
I never liked massage….
I washed sheets yesterday and made a video. I’ll post it but it’s long and boring.