You don’t have to be happy in order to be peaceful

There’s a boy that lives near me.  Well, not a boy anymore exactly, he’s 32 or 34, somewhere around there, and we debate until sunrise.  The sunrise is our brick wall as to when to stop debating.

He’s the best to debate with!  He doesn’t get mad at me, feel threatened or angry – he let’s me speak.  Best of all he remains honest.  Honest enough to debate back.

We discuss God and philosophy mostly.

Him – “I love that I can debate with you without you getting mad or defensive.”

Me – “Me too!”

I try not to go over there purposely as to not throw off my fragile circadian rhythms.  It’s nearly impossible getting home at a decent hour when I visit.  But just knowing he’s there, someone like him who’s easy and fun to talk with – someone who mirrors my level of emotional and intellectual capacity – well, it makes me feel pretty darn good.

He makes me feel sane.

It’s 6:56AM and I just woken up from an awesome dream.  I dreamt Brianna and I were at the airport on our way to Japan.  I couldn’t find my tickets at first, but then I did.  I couldn’t find my passport, but there it was crumpled up in my pocket when I needed it.

It was a good dream until I had to wake up to pee.  I woke up to an interesting part of The Power of Now (I’m listening to it to help me fall asleep).  I woke up while it was still playing and heard Eckhart Tolle saying that peace doesn’t equal happiness.

All this time I was chasing my happiness, thinking that happiness would bring me peace, but no.  He says you won’t always be happy while peaceful.

It reminded me of one of my debates with the boy who lives near me – the perfect conversation starter that has the capabilities of stretching into sunrise.

Let’s think about this my way, Melanie style.  Let me try to break it down.

How can you be peaceful when you’re not happy?

When you closely consider this as a possibility, it almost feels like a relief, you know?  Like, “thank god I won’t have to wait for that day to come,” because you’ll most likely be waiting a long-ass time, you get me?  It takes the pressure off.

I can be peaceful now.

What a great perspective at capturing The Power of Now!  I don’t have to wait for happiness in order for me to be peaceful.  No, it doesn’t make sense but ahhh I totally get it.  But I’m too damn tired to break it down into rational thought-out words.

When you associate one thing with another, they become tied together.  I’m certain our brains are hardwired to make these associations unconsciously.

“I’m craving snacks, I must be hungry.”

Just because you have a craving doesn’t mean you’re hungry.

Bad example.  The good examples are found in the stuff we don’t think about – our assumptions that are unconscious beliefs.

I was talking to an atheist the other day.  He’s a gay man who denounced all religion.

Me – “But that’s no different than people who have faith in God.  You have faith god doesn’t exist, and other people have faith that he does.  It’s the same thing.”

He got really angry at this.  I had no intentions of making him angry, I just wanted to have a fun lively debate like I have with my neighbor.

Him – “But there’s no proof!  I need concrete proof that he exists.  I HAVE no faith.”

There’s no proof that he doesn’t exist…..And what do you think faith is?  It’s believing something when there’s no proof.

Me – “Maybe you tied God into religion.  What if you tried separating god from the religion?  If you associate him with something you don’t agree with, you’d not want anything to do with him.”

That’s when he gave up talking to me.  He was visibly angry and couldn’t speak to me anymore.  And that’s literally all that was said on the matter – just those few sentiments I shared. That’s all that it took.

But these are the kinds of convo’s I have with my neighbor.  My neighbor doesn’t believe and always has a good argument but he NEVER gets angry or offended.  He especially never wants to stop talking altogether.

I can’t help measuring people against one another.  It’s always the defensive people that are the most disagreeable.  Insecure, closed-minded, defensive, stubborn….don’t get me started on stubborn.

I linked stubbornness with one’s downfall in life.  Stubborn people fall to ruins.

Thinking that you’re right while everyone’s wrong and holding onto your pride is the number one reason for failure.  Why?  Because stubborn people don’t change.

You can think on it all you want and you’ll see that I’m right.

They may pretend to change, but they have no intentions to.  Which turns them into manipulative narcissistic sociopaths (but we all are to some degree).

They want to be accepted for who they are without consciously knowing who or what they are.  These people feel entitled from being spoiled.

I can see it so clearly.

If you grow up learning one thing, and then life throws you a lemon, you cry like a little bitch.

Stubborn people (people governed by ego), turn to manipulation instead of changing themselves or seeing anything wrong with what they do.

You can be stubborn when it comes to standing up for something you believe in.  Never compromise your moral compass – that kind of stubbornness is commendable.  No, I’m talking about the selfish kind.  The prideful kind that doesn’t help anyone in the community, doesn’t brighten the world.

I’m talking about the protective, reactive kind of stubbornness.  Protecting your precious ego kind of stubbornness.

Stubborn people can live out their entire lives trying to prove themselves – that they are right.  That their way of living is the happy, good way of living.

Bible thumpers gone mad…..

Just give up man, just give up.

Eckhart Tolle also talks about surrendering.  To accept things as they are.  But for me, you have to actually know what you’re accepting before you can even think about surrendering.

People can’t see past their ego’s.  That’s why it’s important to talk to others.

To wrap things up;  Surrendering brings peace although not happiness, unconscious associations lead to illogical beliefs, stubborn people are screwed people.

Anywho, I can sleep for about 3 more hours so yeah…..gonna head back to sleep.

Rational Brain – “What do you have to surrender to?”

Sleep.

Rational Brain – “No, seriously.”

I’m perfect just the way I am.  I’m surrendering to my perfection.

Rational Brain – “Blow hard.”

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Filed under journal, philosophy, random thoughts

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