Melanie’s Free Style Writing Raps

What’s this you say?

A poem

Yes a poem

A daft and drafty space

for me to poop on

It’s got no reason

no heartfelt soliloquy

So eat your damn hotdog

with grey poupon silly

I think, but I’m not sure, but yes I do think that this may be the beginning of my idleness.  The door is open and I’m limping out into the sunlight and what do I see?  A world of slow moving, dilly-dallying ice-cream drippers.  A life of no pressure.  A life where you don’t need to eat the ice-cream before it melts.

It’s running down the back of my hand

Creamy cold sticky sweet

My mouth is covered in white

And my shirt is speckled with drops

of delight

I’m talking about melty ice-cream….

My body aches

my shoes untied

disheveled and weary

my brain is fried

Alas this is no more!

I taken myself off

the work schedule-ore!

Yeah, I’m not on the schedule at work anymore.  I am strictly by request only.  I can’t retire altogether from massage, at least not yet I can’t.  But I can make it damn hard to book with me.

This by no means portends that I’m out of hot water.  It just means that I’m done.  Physically, I’m done.  But the hot water is certainly still there.

Burning my feet

red as a beet

I jump out onto cold-

ice but it’s sleek

Thin and brittle it cracks

I bess’ be watchin’ my ass

so I jump on a rock

with a hard place above

and I pound on my confinement and yell

“WHAT THE FOCK?”

I’m in hot water, I’m on thin ice, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

funny-meme-pictures

Where the hell are my parents?  It’s past midnight.  I just ate a cold tube of kielbasa out of a plastic baggy.  I’m all alone here.

My parents are probably at the cottage in Rhode Island living it up with my brother and his girlfriend.  One big party.  While I’m home playing a video game that I already beat and stuffing my face with cold tubes of kielbasa.

At thirty-fucking-five-years-old!

Just give me a minute world…..I’ll join you soon.  Not yet, but soon.  It’s just that you’re so damn demanding of my time that I’d rather hide from you.

My new goal is to garner 50 more members.  I’ll be high rolling it biggie style with gold teeth and shit if I had 50 more members.

My member count now?  After getting rid of the members with declined credit cards and who haven’t been in for a while, my total active member count is 147.  Earlier today, before abolishing the non-paying members, it was 154.

Fuck this shit I swear.  I’m sick of this member count shit.  I’m sick of all this shitty shit that goes on in my head.

Shitty shitty bang bang

in my head

splat goes the sound

of my brains on the ground

Burp fart giggle wriggle

it lies there to jiggle

Shitty shitty bang bang

in my head

What I’m really sick of?  Massaging people.  But you know that already.

I don’t care if you’re handsome

I don’t care if you’re nice

I don’t care if you’re clean

and don’t carry lice

You want me to rub you

with lotion

and oil

and the pain starts in my ass

that I proclaim royal

It’s not personal,

I’m sure you’re grand

It’s just that I’d rather do

something else with my hand

Um, okay, now there’s a weird unexplained noise I’m hearing.

It’s pouring outside.

Oh It’s my parents that just got home.  Where the hell did they go?

Hold on……

The casino of course.

It’s so weird, when I wrote my last post I was a depressed mess and now I’m looking back on it like it never happened.  It’s almost like the person who wrote that post is not me – the person I was, but not anymore.

When did I write it?  Was it yesterday?  I tell ya, when I let go, I really let go.

I don’t want to dive into that crap anymore.  It’s useless crap.  And figuring out why things happen and how to overcome stupid shit is also useless.

There’s something about that thing I wrote at the end tho, the “no effort” part.  That’s about the only part that isn’t entirely useless.

It’s the dwelling that’s pointless.  Dwelling that my brother won’t speak to me because I’m trying to build up my business that was inevitably going to happen?  Why?  Why dwell?

Honestly, it was inevitable.  He should’ve known that and he shouldn’t have bought a spa next to mine.

Anyway, I think I’m all rhymed out for now.  It takes me less time to think up rhymes than it does to actually write normally.

I will join the world soon though.  Right after I get all the members I need.  I have plans.  Big plans to make it happen as soon as possible.

Peace out trouts,

Mel out

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Filed under humor, journal, Odes, Self help, Writing

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