my midnight snack
my devilish retina burning time sap
It’s nearing midnight and I want to write. About what? I don’t know. But something always comes and I end up with red scratchy eyes in the morning.
I did nothing for three days straight. It was a well received vacation. I normally have at least two clients a day that request me, which means that I had to tell over 60 people how my trip to Thailand was.
“Good. It was good.”
“Good. It was good.”
Repeat that 60 times over while giving a massage each time. And that about wraps up what I’ve been up to since getting back.
As absurd as it sounds (since I write a blog and all), I don’t like talking about myself. More like, I don’t like mechanically answering questions when my hearts not into it. Everything has to happen organically. And for the most part, I’m organically inclined to not talk about myself or my crazy family unless I can connect it to the moment. Otherwise, what’s the point in bringing it up?
I just discovered a way for me to lose weight without diet or exercise. Want to know what it is? And no, this does not connect to the moment but I’m a hypocrite.
I am head over heals allergic to cashews. Possibly all tree nuts for that matter. I just found this out by eating a handful of cashews two days ago only to have massive stomach cramps, nausea, and a trip to the bathroom about an hour after ingesting them.
As an experiment, I did it again yesterday and the same thing happened. The pain was severe, I almost threw up, but the relief that came after I let loose in the bathroom was incredible. My stomach actually looks slimmer from the trauma I caused to my intestinal organs these past few days.
They don’t work as well as Thailand though (I’ll save that for my Thailand post).
Last month was a good month business-wise. I managed to net $1000 after all my unwarranted purchases. $1000 after paying my personal bills, going out, eBay and Amazon shopping….etc.
It feels good, but I still don’t have that “settled” feeling, you know? It’s like I need to eat more cashews.
What I mean by eating more cashews is that I have to start eating into my debt. It’s just as painful as eating cashews, but just as satisfying when it’s over and done with. I feel lighter.
I finally finished my taxes during my three day hiatus. I somehow made over $100,000 this year. Where the hell did it go? I calculated everything as accurately as I could on Turbo Tax and it said I made a net income of negative $10,000 or something.
When you’re negative, state law prohibits you from filing online and you have to do it old-school, by mail. So I actually LIED on my tax return stating that I made more money than I actually did – just so I could e-file.
It’s not that I’m lazy……
So, according to my 2014 tax return, I made $2,000. Unless there’s a loophole for buying a house, I don’t foresee it happening anytime soon. And since I made over $100,000, I’m now targeted for audits which I’ll find hilarious if they do audit me only to find that I held back deductions. Truthfully, they owe me money (something to do with rollbacks or roll forwards) but I’m not a tax savvy expert with elbow patches sewn into her blazer and know’s how to file old-school.
My incompetence costs $1000, the money I paid last year when I filed. But what’s $1000 when you have $100,000? Haha I’m an idiot.
Completely unconnected, I hired a big black man to work Sundays which made me proud of myself for not being a racist but I stopped by last night to put down a new carpet and checked the cash drawer only to find it skimpier than usual. And where was the first place my mind went? Can you guess?
So yeah, maybe I am a racist. But I swear I can’t help it. It’s like an autoimmune knee-jerk response.
No Mel, no. Stop. I have to consciously tell myself that. But at the same time, I don’t want to white-wash over everything. Lol, white-wash….White washing cracka is what I am.
So with my new sturdy man under my wing, Saturday is my only “full” day of work. By “full” day I mean at least four clients. It has taken me almost a year to get here and lord knows I’m tired.
I’m tired, but not settled. There’s still work to do. Pay down my debt and add micro-current facials to the menu. If I had no debt, I’d be $2000 richer every month.
I better get some sleep. I have two clients tomorrow.