Last Day in Bangkok

Um okay, am I rich or something? No. I can’t be. Rich people don’t ask that question.

The reason why I ask is that I spent the last month traveling to three different countries and I’m going home $3,000 richer than what I started with, well, maybe more than $3,000.

I woke up in a five star hotel today ordering a full course meal through room service with ridiculous prices and I didn’t bat an eye. And because I didn’t bat an eye, I’m wondering if I’m rich.

Brianna, my travel buddy, left here the day before last. We literally had what felt like a magical time together. We came here with no plan, no set schedule, but no matter where we found ourselves, I kept thinking that there’s no place on earth I’d rather be and nobody more perfect to be there with. She’s the perfect travel companion!

We’re already planning our next trip. Our goodbye for this one was tough. Neither of us was looking forward to it.

I went with her to the airport to see her off and we taken our last shit together in the airport bathroom due to food poisoning. Even through food poisoning, we had a blast.

There was no time for contemplating, being retrospective, or philosophical during this time of active adventure.

There is action and then there is rest. I understand more about myself and why I choose, no, I don’t choose, but need both an active life as much as a quiet life. Why being social and meeting new friends isn’t always a priority. Why staying home is bliss at times when everyone else wants to party.

I’m the type who wants to understand what I’m looking at, not create what I’m looking at.

While active you create, while when at rest, you understand. And to the true analyst, you can see what is, what was, and what it can be.

You can’t be both active and restful at the same time. Just like no one can stay enlightened in a physical world.

I’m probably not making any sense. I’ve been living in the “creating” phase far longer than the restful one. Not only for this past month, but since April when I started my new business.

I don’t want to go home tomorrow. I have an insurmountable amount of work that needs to get done before the summer.

I need to do taxes, furnish the two massage rooms upstairs, hire new employees and get their schedules straightened out. Train them in ashiatsu. All so I can comfortably leave again. On another adventure.

My employees sold at least 20 new memberships while I was away. And I don’t even have my new menu options up yet. I’m up to 147 members.

My life feels like it’s on track. And it’s in such a way that also feels like a journey. A seriously crazy fucked up journey that’s finally turning into wealth, fullness, paradise…

I bought these really cool pants at the mall yesterday. They look like Aladdin pants. I want to buy another pair but then I’d be known as that weird girl who wears Aladdin pants to the grocery store all the time.

But I love them so much…

I have so much to write about, so much. I always do. But I’m still in “active” mode and can’t rest yet for at least another year. I won’t be able to understand exactly what I’m looking at until I can sit down and lay down all my buckets. Then I can look back and say, “Wow! I really fucking did it, didn’t I?”

Life is beautiful, surreal, and meaningful when you ante up the balls to follow your heart.

I have a new goal in life. I’ll write about it when I get home.

Right now I’m too busy wondering if I’m rich or not.

It’s funny being here in a fancy hotel with a dress code. I have unkempt hair, huge Aladdin pants and I’m traveling with a horribly dirty/dusty backpack. I bet my sandals still have shit on them from when I almost slipped and fell in it.

I couldn’t look any poorer. It’s hilarious to me. This whole thing is hilarious.

It’s like I’m on a drug. I feel so light. I feel somewhat aloof however. More so than normal. I need to step away from the “active” and sink into the retrograde. People might mistake me for being a snob, but in all actuality, I’m just tired and too busy not understanding any of what’s happening to me.

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