3 a.m blog post

I’ve been having trouble falling to sleep for two reasons:

1)  I don’t have to wake up early anymore and,

2)  I’m excited.

I’m excited because my business is tipping over into the success zone.  I’m so close to it that I can feel its hot breath on the nape of my neck.  Whispering in my ear like a passionate lover.  Its presence never leaves my awareness.

I barely work anymore.  The therapists I hired all run the joint when I’m not around.  I made it impeccably easy and intuitive – the Apple brand of massage clinics.  It’s evolving itself into a beast machine that eats people, slobbers them in lotion only to spit them back out into the world partially digested with lighter wallets.

I feel partially digested….

Yesterday marked the start of my new schedule and with it came insomnia.  I’m entering into phase two of my business plan.  Phase two involves me taking a step back and letting my employee’s step in.  But because I’m at the cusp of entering phase two, I have to delicately balance my finances.  Once the finances are fully submerged in the profit zone, I can enter into phase three – expansion.

My whole life I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen.  I’m actually accomplishing something.

This month I spent well over $3,000 in unaccounted for investments and purchases and my projected total money in the bank for October 1st is the same amount of money that I started with on September 1st.  This means that I broke even.  Even after having made all those unwarranted purchases, I managed to break even.

But I’m still hesitant to lay my burdens down.  I don’t trust it yet.  There’s still a twang of tension in the air.  Mostly due to not understanding the math – according to my calculations, I should be negative what I started with.  I sincerely don’t understand.

Good lord I’m tired.  I don’t want to do anything for a week.  I had one client today, one tomorrow – I still have to massage one or two clients a day which is 90% less then before, but I’m yearning for my week of freedom.  To block out an entire week – I’m not there yet.

I’ll be cusping well up to 115 members, then my new employee can assume the rest of my remaining shifts.  Once I reach 130 members, I’ll be fully submerged in the profit zone.

I’ll have only one problem to contend with once I reach 130 members and that is the problem of insomnia.  Insomnia from plain excitement.  Not a good nights sleep, only day naps.  It makes life miserable.

I can’t wait until I can start writing again for real.  I write exactly what’s on my mind – it’s hard flowing away from that.  It’s like going against the current.

But the thing is, shit….It’s too late to do this Mel.  Asking your silly questions.

The thing is, when I go on one of my little adventures – I’d much rather stay home.  I’m comfortable here.  I’m comfortable, but I’m stuck with the gnawing sensation of letting my life slip by.  I want to see and experience everything, but I yearn for home.  I go against the current when I travel.  The only real comfort I have while traveling, is being able to take my blog with me.  So I can tell my story.  Finding my story is HUGE to me.

I’ve been meaning to write about the importance of story for months now, but it remains stuck on the back-burner.  Suffice to say that it changes EVERYTHING – your entire perspective.  God I wish I had it in me to write about it now.  It’s life changing, it really is.

And so, what was I saying?  Going against the current isn’t always a bad thing.  Hell, if I was floating downstream, I would never have started a business.  But then again, if I was going with the current tonight, I would be asleep right now.

My answer?  There is a time and a place for everything.  When the time is right, it’ll happen.

 

 

 

 

1 Comment

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One response to “3 a.m blog post

  1. Congrats, Mel! Hang in there, keep focusing. Everything is coming together. 🙂

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