The End is Near

I had a credit card dream two days ago.  I dreamt I bought a new hat, a cowboy hat to be specific.  And it cost me $101,000.

Me – “But it’s just a hat!  A hat can’t possibly cost $101,000.  Someone over-charged me.”

Retail girl – “We’ll look into it.”

Then a cluster of shoppers stood outside the entrance of the store and they were all looking up.  I went over to see what they were all looking at, and that’s when I spotted a tornado.

Me – “Run!  Everybody run!”

I ran back into the store while everyone stood outside completely hypnotized by the swirling colors in the sky.  It was actually beautiful, but I didn’t stick around to see it.

People started getting sucked up to the left and right of me.  I figured that as long as I stayed in motion, it would be harder for the tornado to suck me up.  I was right.  I was safe.

Everything in this dream symbolizes monitory troubles.  Everything except the new hat – new hats symbolize business gains.

I went to work at my new business yesterday after having that dream, and sat down beside my new employee, Holly, behind our one desk.

My employee is great.  She’s young, cute, and came very close to selling a membership the other day.  But…..And this is a huge but….

Now I remember why I love working alone.

We have one large reception desk that I managed to squeeze two chairs behind.  We’re in very close quarters – shoulder to shoulder just about.  And this girl can talk.  Man-o-man can she talk.  Not necessarily crazy garbage talk that makes no sense, but the kind of talk you would expect to hear from a 23 year old fresh face normal everyday lassy.

I was never a normal everyday lassy even at her age.

I couldn’t blog, couldn’t read, I couldn’t fall asleep while listening to an audiobook.  I was stuck there – literally, I couldn’t get out.  Our chairs were jammed that close together.

I wanted to bang my head against the desk listening to her.  I couldn’t pay attention to anything she said – and it’s not that I don’t care or don’t like her, I like her a lot actually.  I just couldn’t do it.  My energy waned and I started looking forward to giving a massage – an escape back into my head.

I officially opened April 18 and today is April 24.  I managed to make almost $1000 ($990 to be exact), since I opened (not counting today).  This is in membership sales, gift certificates, and clients that I massaged during those days, 3 of which I had no clients due to Easter weekend.  So in 3 days, I made $990 (not counting tips).

I know what you’re thinking, “dang girl that’s the shit!”  But to me it doesn’t feel like the shit.  I’m still in freak-out mode.  $990 can’t pay for my rent which is $1250 and due in 6 days.  I’m running out of my personal line of credit, and my employee is there all day today with only two clients on the books.  She is my greatest expense.  Not the rent, not the utilities (I got that bill in the mail today), but it’s her.  Only when she has no clients.

I sold 40 Amazon Local Deals.  I get a check from them May 6 (which I don’t count as earned money until they get redeemed).  I’m also selling 300 Groupons starting May 6.

Groupon upped the amount they pay merchants from $18 a massage, to $20.  My therapists get $12 for massaging Groupon and Amazon Local people.  If they rebook with my therapists, they get $17 for massaging them.

I’m still utilizing my original plan of attack.  Sell Groupons, keep my employee’s fully booked, and wait (pray) for the rebookings.  Once the rebookings start, I won’t have any more dreams about tornado’s.

I’m using Massage Envy’s mode of structure which entails memberships.  If I can sell 60 memberships, I’ll be set for life.  My business will be established and stable with 60 memberships.  I sold 2 in those 3 days I been open.

I’m sitting in my office in Middlefield. I’m here today, tomorrow, and Tuesday is my last day.

There’s no better way to savor the end of an era with a video clip.  My little office may be dying out, but my dream of being a self-made millionaire shall live on.  And okay, I’m a dork with iMovie.

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Filed under humor, journal

13 responses to “The End is Near

  1. Hi there! Im also a therapist : massage and reiki! advertise more, give freebies away, for every referal of 2 people a free back and neck massage, go big my love! go big! think out of the box! I”ve been doing it for 6yrs and I have grown! so email me if you need help :

    • Thanks! I did a raffle once a while back and the winner never came to redeem it, but some other guy heard of me from the raffle and decided to buy a gift cert for his wife. It’s strange but it always seems like everything evens out, but leans a little in my favor. The more I give away, I get even more in return. Thanks for your support. I might contact you if I run into big trouble.

      • Amir Ouazzani

        Yo ur friends are assholes, crazy is a difficult word, honestly I believe everyone is crazy but me (by crazy i mean stupid), but that’s drawlin (Philly slang for annoying) about the heater. Spiritual awakenings are dope, here’s a website you may enjoy I found it on my travels: I wasn’t fully assured that taking medication was stupid (I’ve been off 10 months now) until I talked to a Neighbohood friend who recently got on Medication and from a non-medicated standpoint I could see how much like a zombie she was. I’d rather be batshit crazy and friendless, than soulless any day thank you! Any people who would rather me be a Med-Zombie than my real self don’t actually give a shit about me. I wish you well you crazy bitch haha.


        Your Equally insane friend,

        Amir Hisham Ouazzani

        P.S. this is me 3 years ago at 19
        P.P.S. Sorry for double post I posted this on ur therapist monkey page, but wasn’t sure if you’d get it

        • Lol yes! Thanks for the comment Amir. Girls are nuts man I’m telling ya. Guys are nuts too but in different ways.
          I’d rather be crazy too than a zonked out zombie. I’m learning to balance myself without drugs and as crazy as it sounds, I’m using meditation to help with controlling my emotions. And it works!
          And yes my friends are assholes, but I’m an asshole too in my own quirky ways, so I let everything slide off my back. I slough off any upset or anger and roll with it. If you look hard enough at anybody, deep down they’re all narcissistic selfish assholes. If you can’t see it, you’re not looking hard enough.
          I just shrug my shoulders most of the time. I’m going to YouTube stalk you now 😉
          I wish you well you crazy bastard.


        • OMG that’s awesome!! Holy crap. I absolutely love LOVE parkour! You’re incredible. You absolutely do NOT need to be on meds. I’m flattered that a guy of your skillz took the time to write a silly ol’ blogger like me a comment. Please keep up with what you’re doing. If you want to switch up parkour with other sports, you should try karate. That’s another thing I absolutely love. You have a great talent.

  2. Amir Ouazzani

    Let me put it like this, if Majick (Magic) doesn’t exist how can i put out fire with my bare hands?

    • Lol yes you did! Be careful silly. I’m going to try that.

      • Amir Ouazzani

        I’m glad my comment went through, rarely am I allowed to reach people anymore (Once you reach a higher state, there are those who wish to keep it secret, I had to threaten a few Gods to reach you, but I really wanted to let you know you are not alone in your journey). Fire has a soul, it will only burn you if you think it will (It’s honestly difficult to believe fire won’t burn u haha), if you’ve ever ran your finger real fast through a candle & not gotten burned you know what I mean. Majick is about starting small, Majick is about belief. I started by eating 1 match, then 6, then a whole pack, then before you know it:

        I write songs too :

        These websites will help you on your journey: (Best Horoscopes)
        (Shiva gave me this one, it’s pretty accurate, but everyone even Goddesses have different perspectives on the truth):

        (This one is simply hilarious, I think a few Gods/Goddesses run this one):

        You are special Melanie, simply because you choose to be. I am special simply because I choose to be, remember there is no such thing as destiny or fate, no higher plan. When you want to know who your God/Goddess is look in the Mirror and ask 2 questions:

        Who Knows Me Best?
        Who Makes My Final Decision?

        Then Look In The Mirror Again

        I am my own God.

        This is my twitter feed (Hilarious if I do say so myself, sometimes taken down):

        Good Luck Melanie!!

        P.S. Gods/Goddess can possess anyone as well as Demons, Angels, whatever, the only way to prevent possession is to stay true to yourself, always follow your heart and instinct. Be careful who you share this knowledge with not everyone is understanding. And Gods/Demon/Angels will possess your loved ones to lie and make you seem crazy. (Once you can eat fire/ a pack of matches it usually shuts them up fast 😉

        P.P.S. Stalking is fine, haha idc I enjoy that you actually care what I have to say. I messaged you because I knew my words would not be wasted. Haha Much Love Somoto Be ❤ (Somoto Be or "Blessed Be" is how you pray to the Moon Goddess. Amen is the Egyptian God of Knowledge and a Good friend of mine, The Moon is my wife tho. )
        The End is not near the Age of Aquarius and End of Pisces was 12/21/2012. We're just getting started!!!

        • I love your comment! It’s so funny how like minds somehow find each other. Can we be Facebook friends? I had an experience where I knew for sure that I was my own God. And that I am it. I create. It was a huge experience.

          Let’s be Facebook friends!

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