Why Jerry Hicks Died of Leukemia

I found out a few months ago that Jerry Hicks, the husband of Esther Hicks (Abraham), died slowly and painfully from leukemia.

In case you don’t know these guys, they’re a couple of new-age guru’s having amassed a following of spiritual seekers and devotee’s.  They are the “Law of Attraction” people.  Energy and flow masters.

why jerry hicks died of leukemia

Until Jerry died of cancer…

I want to tell you my own personal interpretation I acquired from our maker when I was under ayahuasca.

I asked ayahuasca about death and BOOM, she told me.

Me – “If people truly have free will, then why would they choose to die?”

Ayahuasca – “Everyone chooses their time of death.  To end their suffering, to let go and move on.”

Me – “But what about people killed in freak accidents, or war victims?”

Ayahuasca – “Whatever you fear, that fear will eventually happen.  The more fear you place on death, the sooner it will come.”

Me – “But what about having a choice?”

Ayahuasca – “Power of choice happens when you let go.  When you trust God.  Only then can you exercise free will.”

Me – “How do I let go of fear?”

Ayahuasca – “Only the strong one’s can let go.”

Me – “How do I become strong?”

Ayahuasca – “With suffering.”

We are all on the same level of evolutionary development.  These two purposed guru’s are no better than the rest of us (if they were better, they wouldn’t be here).  They have fear – no one is without having some kind of fear in this world.  And ALL fear comes from the one fear of death.

Jerry had to suffer to end his fear of death.  Leukemia ran in his family and so before he even got sick, he’d ask doctors to find a preventive cure instead of just treating the symptoms – and that question alone is laced with fear.

At the level of development we’re at now, it’s impossible to change the outcome of a chronic illness without a miracle.  We’re not able to do it because our free will has not reached it’s full potential.  There is no free will within ego.  Ego is fear.  Fear controls us.

When we get sick (really sick), we fight it with medicine because we’re scared to die.  If we have more hope (concrete belief) in the medicine working than we do with it not working, the medicine might work.  But if our fear of death outweighs our hope, death will win.  There is no choice in that.

I know I sound nuts, as usual.  I’m completely aware of that.

When we can learn how to love and not hate, to not be afraid and to trust, to be able to hop on the wave and direct it’s flow by believing in yourself (you are God), only then we’ll have complete control.

Greater is He that is in me, than He that is in the world

– 1 John 4:4

All of us are far from it.  Thousands of years from it.

When I was under ayahuasca and receiving answers from my inner self, I saw the plain truth to everything – and that truth is to never believe in anything that you yourself haven’t experienced.  Don’t believe in religion unless you experienced it – faith without substance is foolish.  Don’t believe guru’s because the absolute truth of reality is far too complex to ever be put into words.  It can only be experienced.

I seriously need to sleep.  I went on YouTube tonight and stumbled upon an Abraham video.  DO NOT believe everything guru’s tell you.  A real guru will admit he doesn’t have the answer to every riddle.  They don’t have all the answers because they haven’t experienced all the questions.

And that last sentence troubles me deeply.  When I asked ayahuasca what love was, she wouldn’t tell me.  I experienced the reason why she didn’t tell me about six months later while I was laying on my massage table in my office.  It happened after I let go of Amy, an emotionally abusive friend who didn’t want to speak to me anymore, and I said okay.  I said okay and completely and utterly let her go.

(However, if she called wanting to hang out, I’d see her.  It’s very wrong and damaging to abandon people out of your own fear and spite.  Damaging for both parties.  That is not the path to letting go.)

Anyway, the love I experienced was that of fear.  Of attachment.  It’s an illusion and part of the ego.  This is why people marry and cling to each other.  I have not experienced real love until I was able to let go of someone I supposedly “loved”.

It was pretty cool but…

I could not, would not, believe it.  It was too dreadful, too painful.  The love I’ve known all along was a lie – the love we all know is a lie.  Unless of course, it is truly unconditional.

I wasn’t on drugs or anything, but I still got visuals like being on an ayahuascan trip.  Death, decay, attachment, fear – it was all there.

Before we are born into this physical world, time is irrelevant.  We are placed in an era of time that matches our spiritual growth – that is why everyone in the wold today is in agreement that power, money, fear, envy, survival – all of that controls us because we agree with it.  We resonate with it.  It matches our shared frequency.

Survival makes us kill each other.  Compassion (understanding and awareness) does the opposite.  That’s why we don’t kill and eat animals that love us.  We kill and eat the things that are scared and volatile.  The animals who show no understanding, empathy, or connection.  We eat them and snuggle puppies.

The more immersed you are in fear, the more you must suffer to escape it.  It’s like being in a deep sleep.  A light tap won’t wake you, but a slap in the face will.  We are all slapping each other’s faces.  Most of all, our own.


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Filed under philosophy, random thoughts, Self help

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