Melanie’s Mind Twisters To Spur You Into An Awakening

I’m going to say something that goes against human nature and that is, perfection is in the editing.

It’s pretty much the underlining theme of my blog.  All that I’ve written about Bruce Lee and how he finds God by removing all that is unnecessary.  Or when I write about how we are already perfect, there’s just too much junk in the way of us seeing it.  Every time I write “All that is in part, does not matter” (1 Corinthians 13), is another way of editing out the garbage.

It’s about being mindful.  If you truly understand this, you will experience hope.  Hope is living as the white wolf (see last entry).

Our inherent nature of survival causes us to act first, think later.  Eat the cupcakes, diet tomorrow.  Drink gin after beer, worry tomorrow.  Xerox your ass at work, move to Japan and kill yourself (Japan has the highest rate of suicide caused by embarrassment and/or humiliation), worry when you’re dead.

Stay up late playing advanced suit spider solitaire until you win, deal with your tiredness tomorrow.  I can go on and on….

Basically when you act first, you’re essentially acting on your attachments.  It’s lack of awareness.  You get me?

And when you speak first, think later, it’s the fools way of testing the waters to see if you fit in.  And if you’re not accepted, you blame the other guy, not yourself.  Because YOU are awesome.

This post is coming from two separate experiences in my life and one of them is writing my book, and the other, dating.

I went on a few dates recently and it made me understand why people don’t think before they speak.  And in a round about way, it comes down to wanting and needing to be accepted.  It’s their attachment to being accepted.  It’s lack of clarity, lack of faith or awareness – need takes over and that need makes you not think before you speak (act first, regret later).  It’s a biofeedback loop indicative of unconscious control.

(I have no idea what that last sentence means, I just thought it sounded cool and smart.  I wrote it due to my attachment to sounding cool and smart.)

I know it.  I feel that I’m right.  I don’t know how else to explain it.

Those who are reserved, have their hearts and ears open.  Those who are reserved, know the art of communicating their true authenticity.

To be Melanie, uncut and in the raw, doesn’t mean I’m just being myself.  Anything done unconsciously, without purpose or meaning, is acting on animal impulse and not from the heart.  It’s using our lower reptilian minds.

And guess what?  I’m being super mindful writing this post and I feel more uncut and in the raw than if I were to blather on aimlessly.  This is the real me.  The one who is mindfully aware of herself.

I think it’s funny that people edit blogs, their work or art – anything that represents them.  They edit their shit, but don’t edit the shit that comes out of their mouth.

You may just be being yourself, but who are you?  Why are you?  What’s your intent and purpose?

Oh no, that last sentence just revved up my crazy side.  My “crazy” analytic side that’s beyond what’s deemed normal or acceptable.  Will she go there?  Be mindful Mel, mindful!

Who am I?  Why am I?

We’re here on earth to learn awareness.  Without this physical world, we wouldn’t understand God.  We would be fish not knowing what water is.

In the beginning of our collective evolutionary process, there was need.  The need to survive.  I wrote many times before about using our subconscious survival mode of thought.  To sum it up, being in survival mode is the same as having no faith.  It’s filling the void with attachments that we subconsciously use for survival.  Security for our well-being and happiness.

Lack of faith = Need

Need = Attachments

Attachments = No faith in God

It’s cyclical.

We are here to learn God, not to be attached to the man by means of religion.  ALL attachment must be let go.

We are here to witness and become aware of God, without having a need of him.  Faith rids all need.  If you don’t understand, this will surmise as being a complete paradox in your head.  Like one of those Buddhists questions that spur enlightenment, what are they called?  Koans?  Hold on I’ll look it up and find you an example…

When the great Zen master Zhao Zhou first met his teacher Ma Zu, the teacher asked him why did he come. “To seek the Buddha’s way,” Zhao Zhou replied. Ma Zu said that there was nothing in his temple and reprimanded Zhao Zhou for not looking after his own treasure.

Zhao Zhou prostrated and asked, “Where is my treasure?” Ma Zu answered, “Now that is asking me, is your own treasure. It has everything it needs; and it lacks nothing; its use is spontaneous. What for do you seek outside?” At that instant Zhao Zhou was awakened.

The thing is, koans can’t be deciphered intellectually.  You will only truly understand them once enlightenment strikes.  But paradoxically at the same time, meditating and intellectually focusing on the meaning of koans, brings you into enlightenment.

And that one I wrote about not needing God, but having faith in him – that’s actually a really good one.  You’ll understand once you understand.

Update:  I just thought of another way to help you intellectually understand this.  Forget the word faith, and replace it with experience and knowing.  You don’t just believe or have faith in God, but experience with him.  He’s as real to you as the computer you’re using to read this.  Complete knowing.  You don’t have faith that your computer is real, you know it’s real.  And you experienced what it can do.  

God is the computer inside you – you are the computer.  Ayahuasca told me that God and the self are interchangeable.  If you have faith in yourself, you have faith in God.  There is no more fear, need or attachment when you know you carry everything with you already.

Oh man, it’s still hard to understand.  You can’t describe “knowing” with words.  There are no words to make you understand.

Thinking before acting really does go against nature.  It goes against our natural impulses and desires.  We are born out of need, but evolve into faith (awareness).  This is why we’re here!

This is why there are rules, sins, and many customs in religion.  It’s to teach us restraint and discipline.  But the thing is, nobody know’s why.  And because we don’t know why, we follow religious traditions not out of faith and understanding, but out of fear.

Until you understand the purpose behind what you do, you blindly follow and obey.  You try to be good.  You try to be accepted.  You want, you need, you obey.

You do what’s right.

Where are you?  I want to shake these people awake and scream in their faces, “WHERE ARE YOU?!”

When you haven’t experienced the reason behind certain traditions, when you haven’t experienced the purpose of them – you, yourself, act without purpose.  You act without heart.  And without heart, there is no understanding.

Why do Catholics eat those holy wafers?  To consume God!  So he resides in you!  But very few experienced this, and so hardly anyone understands.

“I understand completely.  God is always with me.  He’s always in my heart.”

No no no, you EMBODY God.  You have the power of Christ in you.  Ayahuasca made that very clear to me.

But the thing is, just as it is with intellectualizing a koan to spur enlightenment, following a ritual spurs understanding.  It’s a symbol to help you understand.  But many people trapped in religion, don’t know that what they are doing is a physical act meant to connect them with the spiritual.  Following a ritual is a means to awakening just as deciphering koans are a means to awakening zen monks.

Everything is relative, remember?

Man, if only everybody knew this, the world would be a better place.

Once you’ve experienced religion, you won’t need it anymore to tell you what to do or what to believe.  Once you understand why, you can let go.  But until you get there, keep on truckin’, that’s my motto.  Really, I made it up myself.

Keep doing what you’re doing, only, aim your intension at achieving awareness and you WILL get there.  Honestly, you will!  Any religion you follow will aid you in your journey.  For me personally (just my opinion), Hinduism is the closest it gets to awareness.

Here’s a quick mind boggling anecdote for you, a little Melanie maze for the mouse trapped inside your brain wanting off the wheel.

Albert Einstein proved that time is relative, he believed it to be an illusion.  The Law of Fives proves that all is relative (seriously try it and prove it to yourself).  Now listen closely, if time is an illusion, than that means everything is happening simultaneously.  Past, future, present, all exist in this moment.  The universe in a moment, the universe in a grain of sand – all is relative.  We are one.  Mu Mu Mu.  Nothingness…

Here’s the tricky part;  Since time is an illusion, I am just as much unborn, as I am born.  My blog exists as much as it does not exist.  We are partially here and partially not here.  Schrodinger’s cat – proven scientific mathematical evidence that shows we are both equally alive as we are dead.

Now here’s what I’m wondering;  What if time is what ties us to the spiritual plane of existence?  Our souls are timeless and eternal, existing here in the temporal, physical realm as much as we exist in the spiritual thread of space.  Time is the key that connects us to both planes of existence simultaneously.  We exist in both because the timelessness (everything existing at the same time) of the spiritual realm connects us.

It is yet another paradox.  Without time, there would be no “timelessness”.  Without darkness, there wouldn’t be light.

Without time, our souls would be lost and nonexistent.

Now hold on a tick, let’s really think about this (I’m so sorry but I have to….).

Gravitational pull effects space, and space effects time.  We are living in a high density gravitational pull that sets our watches – This time that we’re living in now, is relative – meaning, merely perception.  It’s perception because we can’t differentiate ourselves from it.  We know no other time outside our own present moment.  The here and now will always be the here and now even if we lived on the edge of an event horizon.

I believe that gravity manifests itself into physical reality and time as we know it is part of this physical reality.  Time is as much an illusion as it is real – complying with the general laws of nature.  If you are a physical entity floating in non gravity, you will still experience time because you, yourself, have your own gravitational field.  You are made from gravity, you are a dense physical being, therefore you experience time.

Time is merely a connector.  And I am clearly insane.

What the hell was I talking about?  Thinking before you speak?  Shit….

I lost me.  How did I get on the topic of time and space?  I bet if you think about it, you also have no idea how I got on the subject.

Okay here goes, I’m going to try and connect everything….

Deep breath and go!

Thinking before you speak, let’s you become aware of your infinite potential.  Once you see your infinite potential, you start feeling hopeful.  Existing in both the timeless spiritual realm and the physical, you begin to realize that you truly are the creator of your reality.  You have timeless infinite ability!  Your God self, the one who reached Dharma, exists right now along side of you.  Anyone you ever loved and lost, their God selves exist right here, right now and they love you infinitely.

You’re just too trapped in your ego and intellect to see it.  Remove all that is unnecessary.  Have faith in your self.  Trust that all is well and will forever be well cause guess what?  It is and will be!

Being unable to feel or understand any of this, feels like a blockage in your head.  Like there’s a knot, or a wall blocking you.  The harder you try to understand, the greater the wall becomes (almost like trying to solve a hard math problem).

Here’s a tip:  Stop trying!  Just stop.  When you try, what you’re really doing is adding to the wall.  There is no try, only do.

I know it sounds like a cliche that lost all meaning, but if you felt this insight only once in your life, you’ll remember that it’s real and powerful.

The walls and knots are caused from fear and doubt – it’s attachment, lack of faith.  In other words, a delusion.  It hath no meaning.

Can you see why I’m single?  Who the hell out there can understand the shit I think about?  No no no, that’s not it…Okay, maybe a little.

I analyze too much.

The guy I’m seeing, I barely know him and already he’s starting with the back rubbing, hand holding, putting his hand on my thigh.  It’s just that, I don’t understand why?  I hardly know him.  And I’m not mushy.  I love affection, once that stage is breached, but I do it in a non-mushy way.  It’s organic and just feels right.

Crud.  I really like him though.  He’s perfect in terms of well, everything!  I can actually talk to him.  And I mean really talk to him, you know what I mean?

10 Comments

Filed under philosophy, random thoughts, Self help

10 responses to “Melanie’s Mind Twisters To Spur You Into An Awakening

  1. I enjoyed your article Melanie! Thank you for pointing this out. Like yourself , I am a massage therapist (among other things) and truly massage therapy and spirituality are connected as the Earth to the Sky…

    All the best to you! Everything starts with ME…. 🙂 Massage Envy, that is!

    • Ha ha Yes! All this totally DID start with Massage Envy. I just gave some lady a massage and I was so relaxed and in zen for the whole thing. I don’t know any other job that can do this. We are a lucky bunch.

    • Thanks Dude! Writing posts like these take forever to edit and clarify. It’s totally worth it.

      • true…as healing to write as to read, sometimes

        • Yeah, I know how that is.

          • how’s your other writing going?

            • It’s going great! The only problem I’m having with it is that I need my full attention to do it and time restraint always gets in the way of my focus. I end up worrying that I don’t have enough time for it and worrying about time stops me from writing.

              I love it, and it’s flowing nicely enough when I DO make the time.
              Like today for instance, I’m sitting in work and just finished my last client and I have a few hours free, but I’m going to a friends house for a fire pit later, and knowing that I have to be somewhere, stops me from writing. Plus I have to eat at some point, do laundry, everything eats up my day.

              I’m planning on spending a week alone next month with my book. I’m going to an isolated location and doing nothing but write. I may even finish it, who knows.

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