I’m Really A Dude!

Dude, What Would Happen

Dude, What Would Happen (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am officially certified to marry people.  Yup.  It’s true!  I’m printing out my online certificate as we speak.

I’m a registered minister, or you can call me a priest, a rabbi, a reverend – it don’t matter.  You can call me anything and I’ll grin a big healthy grin and marry you when you least expect it.

I can marry you to your pet fish if the mood strikes me right.

I’m involved with the church of the latter-day dude, otherwise known as Dudeism.  Here’s their website.

I am now a true blooded Dude, only I wear clean clothes (most of the time), and my stomach’s not hairy (okay, maybe a little).

Anyway, putting my awesomeness aside, my date went well yesterday.  I’m not much in the story-telling mood at the moment being that it’s already past midnight, so I’ll just say it went well.  The guy’s nice.  Not sure if he’s a Dude or not, but he’s nice.  He friended me on Facebook so now we are Dude brothers.

Besides that…

I read one of my old posts from February 2012 (you can read it here) and came across my old list of goals.  I actually checked off three out of the five on this list!

1)  Hike the Himalaya’s.

2)  Come back home and save $2000 for an aromatherapy oxygen bar machine.

3)  Start my own business.

4)  Take a few college classes.

5)  By the summer of 2013, go backpacking through Europe.  I don’t care if I go it alone –  it would probably be great if I was alone.  It will finally be the time alone that I craved for so long.

This list was compiled just before the universe dumped a big steaming pile of sense on my head.  The same type of sense that fills the air with the stinking realization of what an idiot I had been.

And now that I’m no longer an idiot, but a certified Dude – imagine all that I can accomplish NOW!

So I made a new list:

1.)  Pay off my debt by February 2014

2.)  In the summer of 2014, go cross-country on a motorcycle

3.)  Finish and publish my first book by next year

4.)  Buy a multifamily house after going cross-county

5.)  See Italy

6.)  Sponsor a kid from Guatemala 

This is proof that everything I’m going to accomplish next year is planned ahead of time.  See?  It’s all written here in black and white!

Next year after I buy my house, you can refer back to this post and say to yourself, “Damn, this girl really does do everything she says she’s gonna do.  I wish I can be like her.  Oh how I love her.  You sweet, sweet thing that I dream of every waking hour of everyd….”

No no stop that now, no need for that.  I know I’m awesome but keep your pants on.

Stay tuned for more in-depth coverage of a girl trying to break free.  A girl up against all odds.  A girl who’s….who’s….bah, I don’t know.  Let’s just say I have very little at the moment.  No money, I live at home with my parents, I drink, I’m lazy, I play video games…etc.

You wait and see world what this Dude’s gonna do!  Dudes gonna do, that’s my motto.  Dude does.  Dude Do.  The Dude Do the guru.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet contemplating her cool that day

There came a big spider

Who sat down beside her

And Miss Muffet turned to him and said “hey..”

Hey as in, “what up spidey?”

The Dude is dope, the Dude is Pope 

The Dude abides

He is no joke

I’m going to stop myself right here.

13 Comments

Filed under humor, journal, Odes

13 responses to “I’m Really A Dude!

  1. Ava

    Ok, Easy Rider… I plan on seeing you in 2014!

  2. Hey Dude,

    Think I told you I bought another Harley, so let’s ride. That is my plan for next summer for sure. I will send you a pic.

    BTW, should you be considered a dude or a dudette?

    Steve

    • Well, I would like to think of myself of a dudette, but it sounds funnier calling myself a Dude. We are totally going to ride next summer! Send me a pic of the Harley.

  3. LOL…I JUST watched the Big Lebowski for the first time yesterday, inspired by your link to dudeism.com. Sign me up! Several years ago for several convoluted reasons, I did the ULC ordination thing and actually for real married some friends…it’s a rush, I recommend it! Adopted the “preceptor” title at the time, but DUDE has a much, much better ring to it!

    • It helps bring light to something that’s being taken too seriously. I don’t think God wants us to be so serious. Having and showing respect, I believe, is not done in the absence of fun and laughter. It’s done out of love, and what’s closer to love than joy? I would love to marry my friends! What an honor that is.

      • Totally. Like Dan Millman’s “laughter of the enlightened man” from “Way of The Peaceful Warrior” The Dude would have made a great Socrates in that book/movie…I wish Jeff Bridges had played that part too 😀

        • I was thinking that same thing! I thought it would be cool if the Dude played Socrates. I’m going to have to check out Laughter of the enlightened man.

          • Have you ever read the book “way of the peaceful warrior”? The thing about the laughter of the enlightened man, if memory serves, was a chapter in that. Or maybe just a paragraph. Whatever it was, it really stuck! You’ve inspired an idea for a post…keep an eye on Browncoat Whovian Epiphany for it this weekend…will give ya a mention and a link, ok?

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