I sat at my desk typing in my blog yesterday when a brand spanking new client walked into my office.
I sprang to my feet with my hand jutting out for a shake.
Me – “Hi, I’m Melanie!”
I can be overly enthusiastic when greeting new clients…
Him – “Hi, nice to meet you!”
He mirrored my enthusiasm.
I went through the rigmarole of having him fill out paperwork and asking him where he held his tension. Then I told him about the cricket fiasco (from my last post).
Me – “Don’t be alarmed if you see a cricket in here. He’s been following me around all day.”
He smiled and chuckled when hearing about this cricket.
I got him on my table and started the massage.
I don’t normally do this so please don’t judge, but I started fantasizing about him while I was massaging him.
“Melanie this is wrong, stop it right now!”
But then my mind would wander off again to that little house we owned together. Going to picnics and bungee jumping in Paris. I imagined myself picking him up and twirling him around (it should be the other way around, I know).
I was crushing. This is rare.
It’s rare for me to crush on obtainable people, let alone any people for that matter.
Most of the guys I crush on are not available. I thought this was due to my subconscious telling me that I’m afraid of intimacy – but now I’m not so sure. Could it be that all those unobtainable crushes were unobtainable out of sheer coincidence?
That it’s not my mind playing tricks?
I see faulty wiring in potential suiters. First thing, they like me, so somethings gotta be wrong with them and secondly, their emotional and intellectual capacities fail to match up with my own. I’m not implying that I’m a super brain with heady depth, but I like a little stimulation from time to time.
Is it possible that I’m not using a defense mechanism around men? And that maybe all this time all I was doing was being true to myself and my intuition?
“Blah blah blah, you keep talking but I don’t care. What you’re saying bores me!”
– Is what happens 90% of the time.
But this guy, he’s like my Camino crush from Germany. Or Martin, my last client crush from years ago. He’s real. He’s in the moment and listens to it. He can talk about anything and it will all sound brilliant and interesting to my ears.
He adapts to my presence. He’s there with me, you know what I mean?
The man I massaged yesterday had the body, spirit, and joy of a person who is happy with himself. He stole my heart for that one hour I spent with him.
He’s shorter than me.
I’m about 5’5, and he’s around 5’2. He works out, so his body is immaculate. Fit as a fiddle and proportionate to his frame. I wanted to take his body and twirl it around. Basking in his pint-sized adorableness.
I’m shocked to find myself attracted to him because he’s short. His height feels like an added bonus.
“Not only is he wonderful, but he’s smaller than me!”
I felt powerful and beautiful standing next to him – he made me feel powerful and beautiful. He had googly eyes and with it, a big happy grin.
As you may know, I don’t write about guys a lot here in my blog. I don’t want a relationship because I still have a tremendous amount of self improvements at stake. One such improvement is moving out of my parents house. Another, writing a book.
Anyway, I agreed to a date. He texted me yesterday after his massage and we chatted for hours. I was laying in bed in exhaustion due to a late night drinking excursion coupled with other peoples drama followed by waking up at 8 a.m the next day. I’m surprised I looked so chipper. Must have been the cricket…
I’m looking forward to seeing him tomorrow and that fact alone, never happens.
He’s strong. He’s happy and good. He travels. He’s real.
So, I don’t know what’s in store for me. It’s just a date, that’s all. A date that I’m looking forward to. Oh man, should I wear a dress?
- Thank you Melanie!! (artzjewelry.wordpress.com)
- The woman who made me eat pizza and the massage that enlightened me (deena.co)
- Caught by surprise …. (shehasadevilssmile.wordpress.com)
- The Art Of Massage: Tips And Tricks (qemur01.wordpress.com)
- Massages Are Relaxing If You Know What To Look For (akelu02.wordpress.com)
- A game of real or fake ( or miraculous ) – a boob story part I (tequillatudes.wordpress.com)
- Do We Date Like A Fifth Grader Pt. Deux: The Friend Zone (23summers.wordpress.com)
- Swetha’s First Massage (nishmassage.wordpress.com)
- Massage and Your Martial Arts Practice (breashaolin.com)
- Five reasons to try massage therapy (strictlyholistic.com)