This post is even more newer than the last!

I can’t focus on more than one thing at a time.  But when I do, I can excel at just about anything – it’s the truth I swear!  Not being cocky or anything…

Where oh wherefore art thou first client?

First client done.

Where oh wherefore art thou second client?

My mom made me a bangin’ sandwich for lunch today.  Jealous?

I want to focus on something and excel at it.  Not my blog, not with writing.  That’s one arena I’ll never be satisfied with.  No, I’m talking about learning an instrument, a new language, or being a master watercolorist.  But I can only pick one of those in order to excel at it.  If I focus for three months I can amaze myself – really!

You know what I need?  I need to not work anymore.  That will be my solution to all my problems.  I get bored after a while, and giving massage is BORING.

You know what I really want to do right now?  Eat my banging sandwich, read and possibly nap. Daytime naps usually lead to getting spooned by my poltergeist.  I could go for a good spooning right about now.

Third client is done.  Boom Boom Pow that client be liking my style  I drop it like it’s hot cause my fat money pile.  He gave me $25 shazam!

Here is my work day thus far:

10:30 – Arrive at work.  Blog.  Text Amy.


11:00 – Massage first client.

12:05 – Blog. Take few bites of sandwich.  Check Facebook.  Thought that maybe I should play the guitar instead of blogging between clients.  Text Amy.


12:30 – Massaged second client while thinking about my guitar idea.  Decided I will video tape my guitar efforts and post my progress on my blog.

1:30 – Check FaceBook.  Text Amy.  Few bites of sandwich.  Read a text from Brad saying that a Melanie Hater wants to be his friend on Facebook.  Told him sure – there’s no harm.

2:00 – Massaged third client while dreading the Melanie Hater will give Brad the link to my blog.  She is out to destroy me after all.

3:30 – Finished with client.  Brad text me back saying he will deny friend request for fear of drama.  I text back “lol thank you!”

4:00 – Waiting to hear back from Amy about plans for new years eve.  She is being vague and cryptic.

Amy and I fight all the time.  It’s inevitable because we are polar opposites.  The last time we fought, I ended up drinking shot after shot of whatever the bartender put in front of me (all free no doubt).  I was obliterated and ended up over some guys house where someone passed me a pipe.

“Um, how do I work this?”

I had the pipe facing the wrong way.  I couldn’t seem to find where to put my mouth.  It was a typical small glass pipe mind you, but I was obliterated and confused.  I taken one hit and it sent me over the moon.  I had no idea where I was, or how I got there.  It baffled me that I drove there – I didn’t remember driving.

I woke up the next day in a strangers bed.  I looked at my phone and it was 10 am, my mother called about a dozen times wondering where I was.

A guy rescued me the night before and brought me to his house where I would be “safe”.  He stolen me away from 3 or 4 grown men.  We spent the next 40 minutes looking for my car in the morning.  That happened about 4-7 days ago, I can’t remember.  It was a typical day in the life of Mel.

6:12 – Last client is done.  I’m spent.  Must meet Amy at her house at 7pm.

For the rest of the night – Must try to act like a normal human being.

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Filed under humor, journal, random thoughts

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