I taken one little blue Adderall pill just for the hell of it Monday night, and when I woke up on Tuesday I was completely miserable. It’s a drug for ADHD – not a big deal. No big deal at all, but for me it made me want to kill myself. All my happiness was gone. I felt as if nothing could ever fulfill me. I mean just imagine that – NOTHING, no matter what I do, would ever bring happiness into my life.
It’s crazy how one little blue pill could do that to me. I feel fine today, happy even. Well, not happy, but the prospect of being happy is there.
I’m not happy because I have to run across the plaza in five minutes to massage my first client. I’m not happy because I need to find a primary physician to sign a piece of paper for me that I can take to a diagnostics lab to test my blood and prove I’m immune to chicken pox.
To sign up for a physician costs $125 (I checked two different walk-in clinics), and the cost of the blood test is $55 (the cheapest I could find). Life sucks, but I know it’s only temporary. Depression is when it’s not temporary.
Shit, I gotta go.