Massage hang-over nightmare

Last Friday after massaging for six hours, I went to the New Britain Museum of art for a party, then went dancing at Murphy and Scarlette’s.  I don’t remember half the night.  I drank an incalculable amount of alcohol.

I DO remember talking to the bouncer sitting next to a camera monitor.  I was looking at myself on the monitor and slurring my words, “This better not be recorded!  It’s better not be.”

Bouncer – “It is – see the VCR has a tape in it.  It’s recording you.”

Me – “No!  It better not be recording!  I can’t have any of me on this tape cause I’m gonna be president one day and I can’t have a record of me like this.  People can’t see their future president like this.”

I was slovenly shoving greasy pizza in my mouth until it went flying on the floor.  The pizza guy gave me another slice before I had the chance to decide if my floor pizza was still good to eat.

Honestly, I was a hot mess as kids are putting it these days.

I have no idea what time I went to bed.  I had trouble sleeping because I drank two glasses of redbull and had a venti latte (two shots espresso) earlier that day.  I don’t drink caffeine.

My phone rang at 9:23 am.  It was my job telling me that I was supposed to be in work at 9 am.

Me – “What!?  No!  I go in at 12, why 9? I never go in at 9.”

Ashley – “That’s what the schedule says.  It’s weird it’s saying that.”

Me – “Shit, oh man I’m so screwed.  I drank so much last night.”

Ashley – “It’s okay, your first client cancelled anyway.  They were a 90 minute, so you don’t have to be in until 10:30, do you think you can be here for 10:30?”

I look at the time, it was 9:30.

Me -“Yeah, I’m leaving now.”

I ate no breakfast, I looked a complete wreck and I lost my sneakers so I had to wear sandals.

I thought I was going to throw-up all during my massages.

Have you ever given a massage hung over?  Well, let me just tell you it sucks.  I had to massage for 4 and a half hours before I could go back home to my bed.  I was supposed to see a play with my friend, but I couldn’t do it.  It was physically impossible.  I fell asleep at 8 pm and woke up at 10 am today to give a massage at the spa down the street.

I’m still in recovery.  I don’t want to move.

And besides all that, I just found out that I’m not allowed to use a calculator for the accuplacer placement exam that I still have to study for.  I’m depressed about that – Yes, I really am depressed over a stupid calculator.

I’m laying in bed with my math study guide next to me (a book, not a man).  I didn’t crack it open not once today.  I’m hopeless.

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