I didn’t attempt to sleep yet. Not that I’m not tired, I’m extremely tired, but I stayed awake researching art.
Today was a weird day. I woke up in the afternoon and had this “brilliant” break-through idea of painting mural’s using nothing but my naked body. I was going to sign my name with my nipple. And for an extra X amount of dollars, the customer can purchase the video of me painting the canvas they just purchased – my eyes hidden behind a sexy eye mask like the superhero’s wear, crazy punk rave music in the background, colored strobe lights, me doing a funky dance. I told all this to Holly while we were sitting in the food tent at the Daffodil festival today. I don’t know how she kept a straight face.
I want to make massive amounts of money by painting even though I’ve never painted before. I want to do something unique, but talentless. Painting in the buff while looking “sexy and alluring” sounded all too perfect. I’m not sexy nor alluring, but I can’t be bothered with minor details such as those during the birth phase of my idea baby.
I taken a shower and blow-dried my hair all while ruminating on my crazy idea. Then I picked up Holly and drove to the Daffodil festival in Meriden.
We peruse the art’s and craft’s tent’s before settling down in the big food tent. I didn’t eat anything all day and felt crazed and jittery from drinking a medium Dunkin donuts iced coffee. I ate half of my fried dough and felt sick to my stomach (I ate fried dough the day before, also at the Daffodil festival).
After the festival, Holly and I hiked through the Meriden wilderness to get to my friend Jesse’s house. We pretended to be Bear Grylls lost in the woods – commenting on random pipes sticking out of the ground and random tires scattered about.
In a Bear Grylls accent – “I’m Bear Grylls. See that tire? That tire can be used…as a swing. I’m Bear Grylls.”
We arrive at Jesse’s. He gave us glasses of homemade wine and squirted his dog in the face with a spray bottle every time he got out of control.
Jesse is a card – I can write a full book about the guy, but because of it being after 3 a.m, I’ll keep it short. All I’ll say about Jess is that he live’s downstairs’ at his parents house while he has more than enough money to buy his own place. His washer and dryer are in his bedroom. He own’s a pawn shop and is trying to own a strip club, but is having legal battle’s with the town. He parties with Hell’s Angel’s and the Diablo’s because he is their stag coordinator.
Anyway, we chat at his house for a while – a long while, actually. It’s always a carnival at his house and you don’t want to leave for fear of missing something.
Holly and I leave at 7:30 because Jesse and his girlfriend had to meet people.
I was famished, so we went to an indian restaurant.
Holly wanted me to blog about the restaurant, but I don’t know what else to write about it.
Where was I going with all this? Shit. Oh yeah, so I was researching my ground-breaking idea when I got home, and it taken me about four hours to realize what a stupid idea it is. No one makes money selling crap they paint – not even if it’s good!
My idea is almost as horrific as this hat.
It was worn by princess Beatrice during the Royal wedding. Someone started a fan page on facebook because it’s so bad. You can read the fan page here. The girl on the left looks like Neve Cambell.
People on the fan page posted some funny pic’s.
Before I go to bed, I have good new’s to share with you for those of you who don’t own a tv, radio, or get out of the house.
Osama Bin Laden saw a photograph of Princess Beatrice and her jaunty new hat, and literally died laughing. I was relieved to hear the new’s because I thought the special announcement from Obama was going to be about terrorist’s and how they figured out how to attack the US with tornado’s.
Okay, it’s November 5, 2011 and I just re-read that last paragraph and have no idea what it means.
There was a special announcement from Obama who literally died laughing? This is a WTF moment. WTF was I thinking?