My simple kinda life

Logo of Target, US-based retail chain

Image via Wikipedia

Can I just tell you that I hardly slept last night because I underestimated my excitement level by not opting for a sleeping pill before bed.

After work yesterday, I went to a Uganda jewelery party at Kristina’s house.  It was around 10 pm when I arrived.  I bought a necklace and a bracelet, drank a beer and went home an hour later.  When I got home, I watched the first two episodes of Stargate Universe and ate a pulled pork sandwich.

I found it impossible to sleep after that.

I’m at Starbucks trying to keep my eyes open with a Venti latte.  Before work, I went to target to pick up a few last travel accessories.  I floated down the isles and was disturbed by the amount of Target people swarming around me with walkie talkies.  There weren’t any regular people shopping.  Everyone had on a red vest.

Target employee talking into a walkie-talkie – “There’s about eight of us clustered in one spot. John, go here please and tell us what we should we do?”

After hearing her commands she says, “Disperse people!  Pick an isle!”

It was like a military zone. It was like Korea’s Demilitarized Zone, only without land mines.  I was having flash forwards of my could-be future if I decide to venture an hour north of Seoul.

I have a some-what easy day today.  I only have five clients to massage instead of my usual six.  I get an hour break and get to go home and hour early.  This is a very rare and wonderful thing.

So, I’ll get home tonight at 9 pm and hopefully pack my shit.  I have to leave the house tomorrow at 4:15 am.  I’m thinking of pulling an all-nighter.  Who needs sleep?

We have a flyer hanging up above the sink in the break room to demonstrate how to wash your hands properly.  Today I made it into a rap song.  I was singing it before I greeted my first client of the day.  I think I’m losing my mind.

Wash your hands AF-ter you cough *cough* *cough*

Wash your hands AF-ter you sneeze *AAchooooo*

Don’t sneeze into your hand – Use your sleeve!

Anyway, it sounds a lot better when I sing it, and it’s a catchy tune.  You just got to take my word for it.

I yawned a lot during my last massage.  If she were to open her eyes and catch me mid-yawn, she would think I was going to take a bite out of her leg, canible-style.  Especially if she was half asleep and dreaming about zombies.

I’m not trying to put my clients to sleep anymore for that reason.  Also I massaged a woman last week who thought I used some kind of black voodoo magic to put her to sleep.  She was talking energetically one minute, and the next, she was put out.  She woke up and was very confused and scared.

Crap, I have to go back already.

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Filed under humor, journal

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