Back from Rhode Island

I’m back in CT.  I’m back to my quaint little Starbucks table drinking my latte and eating coffee cake. 

I went to Rhode Island to stay at my family’s cottage.  I needed it.  REALLY needed it.  Thursday was that long double shift, plus learning about my family’s hatred toward me, Friday was work and feeling unwelcomed when I got home, Saturday I worked in the morning taking 6 clients, then went out to dinner with Holly and Kristina, then went to the Groggy Frog where I tried to drink myself into oblivion.  It didn’t work.  I was too tired to drink a lot.

The next day I gave a massage at 11 am, then drove to the cottage in Rhode Island.  I arrived in Charleston at 12:30.  I was still in my uniform, exhausted and starved – I decided to go to walmart and stock up on food, lots of food.

I bought Chef boyardee ravioli (99.9% fat free), salmon, tilapia, capers, a bag of lemons, a can of soup, lobster cakes, fresh green beans, rice and a box of mashed potato’s.

“That should last me.”

When I arrived at the cottage, I unpacked my things and made the can of soup.  Then watched tv. 

My three main reasons to go to the cottage was to eat a lot, sleep a lot and watch tv.  I sat on the couch, ate my soup and when I got hungry again, I made myself tilapia with a piccatta sauce, a side of green beans and rice. 

I watched the sunset, watched the birds and the boats on the water and enjoyed my dinner.  It was really good for someone who never made tilapia piccatta before.  I didn’t even have a recipe.

My dad hates me now, too.  I texted my brother when I first arrived at the cottage to ‘tell dad I’m here so he doesn’t worry, I don’t want to call the house.’  Then I shut off my phone.

Well, when I got home today, my dad was upset because he didn’t know where I was.  My brother must not have gotten my message to give to my dad.  So now he’s pissed.  My entire household is pissed at me – no, not just pissed, livid.  No one says one word to me when I come home or leave the house.  It’s like I’m not even alive.  It’s pretty much the worst feeling in the world.  I want to cry right now, but I have one more client.  Then I can cry all I want.

It’s like once you start spiraling, all this stuff happens that’s out of your control to make life even more painful and dreadful.  I still don’t know what I did.  Oh yeah, emailed my cousin.

I have to get back to work.  It’s hard writing everything down in less than an hour, but a little something is better than nothing.

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