I’m going to be a roadie!!!

One of my clients yesterday was a roadie that goes on tour with bands.  He works for them as a chef and been doing it for the past 15 years.  He was telling me that the massage therapist traveling with them makes about 4 grand a week, but works so hard non-stop that they burn out after a week or two.

Me – “Ohh I would love to do that!”

Him – “No seriously, you would burn out.  There’s about 200 of us who all want massages as often as possible.”

Me – “I can do it.  Piece of cake.”

He gave me the website that I have to post my resume on. 

It’s right here

So my new plan is to become a massage therapist for a touring band in order to pay off the rest of my debt.  I’ll get to see the states and party it up with some famous folk – plus I’ll blog about it! 

I’m going to want to tour with a girl band, maybe Lady Gaga or Kerri Underwood.  I would like to stay away from singers like Courtney Love.  She would end up puking all over my massage table and tell me to keep massaging her.  Then I’ll puke and she  would still tell me not to stop massaging her.  My little tour bus would be covered in puke.  I wonder if they hire a man who specifically mops up Courtney Love’s puke while she’s on tour?  Like when she’s on stage singing and puking a little, he quickly grabs his mop bucket and sops up her puke before she slips on it.

I have nothing against Courtney Love.  I kinda like her actually.  I hear she’s gotten her life together – rock on girlfriend!

I wouldn’t want to be the massage therapist for a thug band either.  We wouldn’t have anything in common, and those guys are pretty big – just picture little ol’ me having to rub down the entire Wu-Tang clan every day.  I would however massage Snoop Dog. 

The roadie I massaged yesterday was a little strange and smelled horribly of fish.  The fish smell lingered in the room for the next three hours.  Three of my clients probably thought I was the one who smelled like fish.

I gotta get back to work.  I have another hour break later on, so I may be back.


Filed under humor, journal

3 responses to “I’m going to be a roadie!!!

  1. Steph

    Can I just tell you that I love this post! it made me laugh so hard!

  2. Holly

    I love the part about Courtney Love! lol. if you tour for a band, can I tag along during the summers? I’ll wash your sheets and massage clothes in exchange for transportation.

  3. navybound

    I’m not sure how that will work, but I will find out when the time comes. It would be nice to have an assistant. You must do everything that I tell you to do though, I won’t let you just sit around when youre working for me. I’ll pay you a percentage of what I make.

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