I’m sinking fast

My morale is down.  Way down.  I have the case of the mean reds.  The mean reds are what Audrey Hepburn feels when she’s scared and don’t know why in ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’.  I certainly have them today. 

I’ve had such a horrible Monday and Tuesday, then that scam thing happened last night and now I have to massage a stuck-up state trooper who didn’t like his last massage to the point where the corporate office got involved.  And now I have to massage him.  They picked me.  Whoopee……..

I feel like this is as good as ME will get.  This is it.  It scares me to think that if I just stand still and do nothing, I will be in this job forever.  Massaging oil on the chests of big hairy men.  OH MY GOD!  I’m driving myself crazy with this train of thought.

I just want to stay in this sweet, sweet little starbucks and drink myself into latte oblivion.  One $4 latte after another after another. 

So once again, I’m hating on my job.  I feel hopeless, powerless and scared.  And I  sound like a complete baby, I know.  But this is a ‘mean reds’ kind of day and I need to blog.

Feeling scared for no reason means that I’m losing control of my life and myself.  That’s it.  That’s all.  The fastest way to reclaim my life would be to quit my job and start drinking everyday like I used to and forget about everything else.  Besides, aren’t friends and good times the most important thing?

7 Comments

Filed under journal, rant

7 responses to “I’m sinking fast

  1. sarah

    Friends and good times are the most important thing… but you shouldn’t quit your job and drink everyday either… If I can’t you can’t. Call me when you get home

    • navybound

      I just got your response. Its too late to call you 😦 I’m okay, I drank a couple dirty martini’s so I’m good for yet another day.

  2. Holly

    If you quit your job, how can you afford to drink and hang out with me??

  3. Steph

    Don’t you quit!!!!!!!!! you can just switch massage envy’s (work in the one in MN) 🙂
    I’m sorry you feel like this Mel. 😦
    one more month till vegas though! maybe you just need a vacation!

  4. You have a very interesting blog here. Love it 🙂

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