I want to write a post about embarrassment and how silly it is to shy away from it.
I’m at Starbucks, and it’s busy. There’s a room full of people behind me waiting for their drinks at the counter and I’m scared one of them will peek over my shoulder to see what I’m typing. This is just the sort of thing I want to depart myself from doing. Being embarrassed.
First off, embarrassment is funny. Everyone can learn from it and come out better people. So why derail yourself from the inevitable?
However, don’t go out of your way to purposely embarrass yourself. If you’re one of those people who look for dumb and outrageous things to do, that’s when you take embarrassment to the next level of just being an asshole.
Like for instance, breakdancing on the dance floor in a dress at your best friends wedding. I’ve done this. I knew I was being an asshole, but all the beer I drank softened my judgement. I’m sure her parent’s were not thrilled to see me doing the worm while their relatives politely sipped on wine or martini’s, pretending not to notice the drunk girl squirming on the floor.
The way you can tell the difference from being an asshole to just an unencumbered carefree person is if you have fun while in the act of the potential mortifying moment. Like dancing or singing horribly at karaoke. You do it for the sole purpose of entertaining yourself, and not to get a reaction from onlookers.
If you’re openly picking your nose in public, you’re an asshole. Not only an asshole, but a gross asshole. If you try to hide picking your nose by pretending it’s an itch – sort of half thumbing it – you’re an idiot for thinking we’re all too daft to know your true intentions. But if someone catches you while you think you’re absolutely alone with your nose, well, that’s funny.
I pick my nose while driving. I don’t usually pick my nose, but for some unbeknownst mystical reason, my nose always needs a good pickin’ while driving. If I don’t have a tissue to hide my findings, I use an empty cigarette pack. Yes I’m gross and disgusting I know. But if anyone would open this seemingly “empty” container, they would be horrifyingly bemused in finding my other more sinister use for it.
We all do gross things. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
If you have the ability to laugh at yourself, you have the insight to know the good things in life.
Children have no sense of embarrassment. They run around naked with ice cream smudged all over their faces and we all laugh at them. Why do we laugh? Because they have no shame and I’m sure they’re not trying to be attention grubbing assholes. They’re kid’s, they’re cute and say the darndest things. It’s part of being human. Human nature allows us to laugh at each other. If nature built this into us, it must be important.
With all that said, I’m going to start to be a little more honest in my blog. I’m going to balance myself on the ledge with one foot hanging off into the asshole abyss. I can’t deny any facet of my personality. And I have a tendency to be an asshole on the inside but it get’s diffused by politeness before reaching my surface.
The thing about writing shit on the internet is that I don’t need to be polite. I don’t need to be anything except interesting.
Being polite is trite.
Being an ass is crass.
But being unashamed leads to blog fame.
This will open up new territory for me to delve into. I probably won’t ever be president or in politics because of this, but anyone who makes stupid status updates on facebook won’t be considered president material either.