March 17 2010

My last entry was a load of shit. I am judgmental of my clients. If they tell me they are a server, I will suspect they cannot afford to sign up for the membership, but will probably leave me a decent tip. If a client comes in because someone gave them a gift certificate, I assume they can’t afford regular massage and that I won’t get the greatest tip. If an older man or woman come in to see me with a floppy, uncared for body and their clothing looks like it was bought at good will, it’s safe to say that I won’t get the greatest tip and they won’t sign up for the membership.

I do indeed stereotype. It is a handy instrument. There is a comfort in knowing what lies ahead. It’s a way to survive disappointment and my own brutal self-critic. So why then, in my last entry did I make myself out to be a saint? I would have to say it was from comparing myself to that ghastly woman. The woman who was ruthlessly indifferent to me. Comparing myself to other people helps in defining me. So there you have it. I both judge and compare.

I’m on break right now. I’m at Zoup. It’s like a Panera Bread only with more soups to choose from. It’s next to ME in the same plaza. From where I sit, I can see clients coming in and out of the spa. I love people watching. I acquired a habit of noticing people’s posture and gait. I figure out what parts of them must hurt just from looking at them.

I have 45 minutes left. I may walk across the street to Starbucks. It’s so nice out. Just one more client at six and I’m done. Then I go home to my P90X. I haven’t started it yet, but the chin-up bar is put together and hanging over my doorframe.

I’ve been neglecting the P90X. If I don’t neglect it, I’ll start neglecting my friends, or more important – my laying around time. I haven’t been having any lying around time since I started working so much. Last Saturday I got out early, went to Boston to see Kristina and spent the night. I got home Sunday night and went straight to bed. Monday after work I went over Holly’s for a dirty martini and yesterday when I got out of work, I went out for Happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday is when I hang out with a bunch of people at a bar and drink pitchers of beer. That’s my life. Work and have fun. Squeezing in the P90X in my schedule is difficult.

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