I just met the lead character of the book I want to write, and guess who it is? Me!
Okay, so she’s not me entirely, but very close.
In order for the book to be epic, the lead character has to embody everything that I’m trying to teach in my blog. She has to embody everything that I, myself, want to be.
I want to be inspired by my own character. If I can be inspired by her, then maybe the world will be too.
I want it to be a story led by character, not a character led by story.
So, I know my lead character. I know I want my book to be a comedy. Ayahuasca has to be involved somewhere in the novel, I mean, how can it not? The stuff changed my life!
I have yet to find my story, but my character is as fresh and tangible as a dewy fig plucked from the highest sun-laden branch atop Buddha’s bodhi tree.
I want to go back to that place I was a few weeks ago, laying in bed looking at my translucent arm. Instead of hearing beautiful music, maybe I can hear my story being told? It’s already out there somewhere, I only have to find it. It’s like looking for my Rosebud. That which is pure, innocent, true and perfect. Where are you Rosebud?
At this point in my creative endeavor, I have to read A LOT. I have to watch lots of movie’s and tv. I have to learn what it is exactly, that I love. What is my favorite kind of story? I already know my favorite kind of character (aka, me), now what about story?
Mystical fairy tale types are my favorite. But I also want it to be in a real world setting.
Man, I almost want to throw in the towel and write about the time I was left alone on a mountain top in Nepal and then finding myself in front of a shaman drinking ayahuasca. Looking back on it all, I can totally see the humor in it. Everything is funny!
When you’re able to see humor in everything, you’re that much closer to awakening. The things that are profoundly true, can also be profoundly funny. It’s all in the profundity. Seeing truth where others can’t. There are copious amounts of humor in suffering. Just the ridiculousness of it, is enough to make you laugh. Suffering and compassion combined can create cornucopias of laughter.
Suffering, compassion, and not taking anything seriously.
It’s all but a journey. A dream within a dream.
That’s the theme I want to have through-out my book. No matter what situations you find yourself in, if you stay attuned to your true self, nothing can effect you – the outside world can’t begrudge your brilliant heart.
If you can experience all that my lead character endures, and get a glimpse of how she perceives reality, than maybe, just maybe, your perceptions will shift as well.
Another way to describe a shift in perception is to be inspired.
The trick is, how do you shift your perceptions into creating your ultimate self? What beliefs must change?
It’s a real conundrum because as of now and always, you already are your ultimate self. There’s just too many doubts, confusion, heartaches and grief blocking your view from seeing it.
You lack belief in yourself, that’s all it is really. You lack ability at seeing truth because you attach yourself to the things you fear. And your fear manifests itself as doubt, confusion and pain. Your fear holds your strings.
What people fail to realize is (drum roll please)…
Nothing matters. The outside world does NOT matter!
The more you realize this, the more belief you will gain in yourself. You are what’s stable, not anyone else – YOU. It’s always been you.
When you have trust and faith in yourself, you are then placed in a fixed, stable position of unwavering acceptance of the world and its circumstances. You accept these circumstances because they have nothing to do with you – you are not attached to them. You don’t fear them. You accept without complaint.
(Be like water…)
There are bible passages that preach this type of zen. Particularly, 1 Corinthians 13.
8: Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
9: For we know in part and we prophesy in part.
10: But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
What I gather from this passage is that that which is “in part”, lacks truth. Lacks love.
Prophesies (assumptions & beliefs) are the stories we tell ourselves in the thinking brain, they’re not real. What people say with their tongues, does not matter. Anything that is “in part” does NOT matter.
Only love matters. And love can only be felt from within. It is that which is perfect.
Nothing outside yourself matters! You are, in essence, the only truth. Because nothing but man and nature can embody love. And love can only be found and experienced from within. If someone loves you, you experience it from within. You allow it in. It becomes your love because you’re the one that feels it.
If you attach yourself to the person providing the love (because you fear you can’t live without it), that love may vanish away because the only real love is from within, not taken from anyone else, only experienced. Your accumulated experiences have no substance, they don’t matter. The stuff obtained outside your self, doesn’t matter. They are only tools to help chip away all that is unnecessary.
The only thing that matters is your love and acceptance. The here and the now. It’s the pure untainted Rosebud of your youth. Pure joy that’s unattached to anything but being in the self.
That is all very hard to understand, I know. Bible passages are hard to decipher because of their complexity in bringing to light the things that can’t be taught with words.
But if you can feel it – to not be influenced by the negativity or fear in the world (or of your own demons) – to be and go into your self….Even just a glimpse of feeling the true weight of your own heart – the heaviness and power it holds…you can physically feel it in your chest! You’re body will literally heat up while experiencing it.
You are the key, the answer, the true love. Even if you felt it for even a nano-second, you know I’m right, the bible is right. The question is, do you have the strength and courage to trust it? Or must you attach yourself to the world out of fear?
Remember my KISS ASS formula? Keep It Simple Stupid Ass. It’s about taking away, not adding to. And the more you take away, the more you gain.
We are all fundamentally equal. All possessing equal value to each other. But the person who believes in themselves, well, they may not be fundamentally “better”, but they do have more to give to the world. You can be the “better” person by knowing what you’re not (taking away, always taking away).
And the only thing that matters is love. Love is permanent. Trust it.
Remember what I wrote in my last post, The Law of Fives? I was attached to my friends reaction on whether or not I could volunteer at her church. I was attached to it with fear. Instead of accepting her reaction, I fought it with devastation and fear. But ultimately her reaction DOES NOT MATTER! This is the path to becoming the stronger you, the stronger me. By showing her my devastation and fear, I was only impounding my attachment to her reaction.
Knowing that nothing matters, only love, doesn’t put you in a place of non-caring about anyone or anything – it places you higher than the level of hurt, that’s all. You can still care, but not get hurt. I know it sounds hard to do, but it IS possible once you’re in the perfect awareness of love, of God. Once you understand, it’s effortless. More effort is involved in fighting something than there is in accepting it.
However, you should ALWAYS fight for your equality and freedom. Not out of despair or anguish, but with truth and belief in yourself – lift the veil over the shrouded masses. Do it with love, not hate or vengeance. Live by example. It’s about showing people truth, not teaching them a lesson. Don’t attached yourself to the situation. Play it as a puzzle missing it’s pieces, because you know what? Ultimately it’s all just a game.
Ayahuasca made it very clear that everything in this world is a game. Choose your games wisely.
(That was my enlightened tangent for this evening.)
But anyways, how the hell do I turn all this into a book?
In my next post I want to write about how to live from your heart. I want to make it into a simple formula. A quick post with the precision of the cracking of a whip. But even still, there’s no substance in the cracking of a whip…
It seems that a lot of what I write is cool stuff, sure, but it doesn’t stick to the ribs. Even I, the author, can’t remember off the top of my head what I wrote in The Secret Deciphered: Part Two. It’s all just a bunch of words. It’s not anything tangible that can be applied like salve over your everyday waking life. There’s no substance when there’s no story, you know what I mean?
For me, inspiration sticks while watching others living by example. It’s the ultimate perception shift. People can’t be told these things, they have to witness it.
Whatever I write hence forth will be used as fodder for my book. By writing how exactly, do people live from the heart, I will inspire myself to write a story told from the heart.
I will learn what it takes to make things stick.
I started this post intending to write an utmost of 300 words about the protagonist of my story, but all this other stuff came out with it.
And now it’s 2 a.m…..