Another Day, Another Tear

One cup of pumpkin chia is all that it took

to turn my brain into supersonic 

gobbledy

gook.

Drank at 4 P.M,

stayed awake till 8 A.M,

Then went to a wedding to get blitzed

I drank one delightful cup of pumpkin chai latte at Cheshire coffee yesterday, and all hell broke loose.  My audiobook failed to lull me to sleep.  And it just so happened to be my cousins wedding today.

Okay, I’ll just go on ahead and lay it all out for you….

I’m INSANELY sentimental.  Beyond normal comprehension.  It’s not that I’m excessively emotional, heavens no.  I’m German.  We are poker-faced stoic soldiers hiding our human stumblings from the world.

Yes.  I am German.  I am the commander shepherd of being.

I am….

A German shepherd.

I love my family.

I mean, it’s that whole sense of togetherness and belonging, you know?  It moves me to tears.  We are all here together.

The wedding taken place at our cottage in Rhode Island.  My stoic father who’d rather bleed blood than tears, showed a droplet of gratitude in the corner of his eye.

Pop – “Do you have any idea how lucky we are?”

Me – “I know….”

I turned away before I allowed myself an emotional reaction in seeing his strident tear and instead, chugged my beer like a sailor.

He sipped his captain morgan.

sunset over water

Nobody knows, nobody has any idea.  How beautiful everything is.

Non-family is family.  Neighbors are family.  Boats sailing by all take part in our ceremony – all part of the environment, our shared experience, of feeling.

The Law of Fives concludes that everything is relative.  There’s no truth to anything.  All that does not matter, has no matter in our hearts.

When we are full,

our faith begotten,

all that does not matter

is forgotten.

The most precious gift anyone can receive, is to experience family.  And family is relative.  It’s ALL relative.

I tip my hat to you this time, you resplendent Law of Fives.

And once again I came face to face with my Grammys jar of homemade pickled green tomatoes.  It’s the only jar from 1988 that’s allowed a place on our shelf.  It’s the jar no one talks about when they clean house.

20130928-225514.jpg

20130928-225527.jpg

I understand now.  Nothing ever spoils.  And everything can be saved.  Here’s to you, Grams…

Added update:  My Facebook friend, Christian, wrote a really nice poem that ties this post together.

…Sweet as sunshine on the rose
Once alive, you never die
Just open to some other sky

Related articles

6 Comments

Filed under journal

6 responses to “Another Day, Another Tear

  1. Ava

    One of my favs! xoxo

  2. Wow, I’m part German, and family is just the bedrock of my life. And you’re right, friends are family, animals are family, my garden… but stoic and reserved. And always there. We went to my husband’s grandfather’s 100th birthday on Friday, and man is he cranky, but still smiles, still loves stuffed cabbage rolls, still feeding his dog. I’m getting teary. :-) Cheers, Brenda

    • I feel like I have to be stoic in order to counteract feeling way too much of everything. It’s overwhelming. I have to remind myself to be thankful and to let go and roll with it. My grandfather was super cranky too lol. But he had a tender spot. He fed a pet seagull that visited him everyday.

  3. Pingback: The Intergalactic Supersonic Weirdness of Coincidence | Melanie's Life Online

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s