When you first start living from your heart, it will feel fake. It won’t feel like the real you. This always happens after a change and because this always happens, people revert back to their old ways because they don’t trust this “new” self to be true.
It CAN be overwhelming!
Okay, so how’s it done then? What does it mean exactly, to live from the heart?
To sum up all my previous posts, it’s always about taking away – always take away and never adding to. Nothing can be added to something that’s already perfect. You’re only taking away the garbage that doesn’t matter – all that is “in part”, no longer applies to you. It’s no longer part of your experience or perspective.
In other words, get rid of fear and doubt.
“But I don’t want to close myself off from seeing the truth. I don’t want to shield myself from seeing things as they truly are. How can I not be worried?”
This has been my dilemma (my subconscious dilemma), for a while. I thought that if I changed myself to the point where I became delusional, not able to see the facts and only dreaming up what I wanted to see – that’s not real! How can I unattatch myself from hurtful truths without becoming delusional that they aren’t there?
Well, lucky for us the opposite happens. When your fear no longer attracts using the Law of Fives, you’ll start seeing beyond your previous understanding of reality.
Please hang in there and let me explain. This post might be a little hard to understand, especially if you’re new to my blog. I’ll elucidate this with more detail.
The trick can be found in my last post – you rise above it. When you take away all that is “in part”, you rise above the hurt. It doesn’t mean you don’t see it, you still see it but it no longer affects you. The hurts are mere shadows holding no substance, just passing figments with no lasting quality or truth.
You start defining yourself instead of succumbing to the whims of your fears. You stop attracting situations that prove the validity of your fears. Remember, what you believe – you will see.
You become acquainted with your self-worth (read this post) and knowing what is important.
If these hurts did matter, you would continue to attach yourself with the help of your fears, and revert back to where you began. Your attachments shape you and you’re back into your old self that feels familiar, safe and true.
Living from the heart is about having faith and trusting – that’s why it takes a strong person to do it. We are all here to evolve ourselves into gaining that strength. To be in that place where you’re not nervous around your boss, or nervous around anyone! You have the cojones to be your true self, which is unafraid. A person who can stand in front of a large audience. A person who know’s they belong. Wherever you are, you belong.
And you have every right to be heard just like everyone else.
You will never feel like you belong anywhere if you fail at seeing your self-worth. And you will never feel your self-worth until you humbly see equality in all.
When you’re with people, be with them. Focus your heart on them. Don’t be anywhere else. Remember to ask yourself Why. “Why” is found in the id. Remember why you’re with this person and BOOM, you’re living from your heart.
You can’t live from your heart if it’s shrouded in judgments.
I have trouble doing this with people. Being with them.
When I feel they’re not genuine, not living in the moment, clouded by fear and judgement… If they’re not living in the present then why should I? Instead of becoming part of their delusions (misery loves company), I drift away outside the moment. I become not only aloof to them, but numb to the present. It’s my defense mechanism.
But the present moment is all there is!
Never numb yourself to it.
The most important thing is, I’ll repeat, knowing what you’re not. If you know what you’re not, you can start accepting people for who they are. They can’t affect you. They are separate from you, and so it makes room for acknowledging and accepting their faults without judgement (judgement is fear).
Did I lose you yet? Do I understand any of that? Hold on, let me dig a little deeper.
Again, for me, being in the present moment with someone who isn’t, is very hard for me. My Jabberwocky ways hath no patience.
I have to learn how to stay with them, and I can do this by staying with myself. To remember who I am.
I recognize all the times this happened (remembering who I am) because I felt energized and not exhausted. The energy stays with me instead of being sapped away. And I was able to laugh at the person still trapped inside their illusions.
(I can be a loving asshole)
If you have to compare yourself with others to find out what you’re not, than by all means do it! Don’t judge the person. Stay compassionate. See your faults in them and understand that they are faults you once possessed, but don’t anymore. They are not the real you, and never had been.
We find ourselves in the contrasts. We are defined by the contrasts. With sharp contrasts comes deep fulfilling belief in oneself. We are here to learn from each other.
And once you find your center, you won’t have to compare yourself to anyone. There’s just a knowing, a faith. It’s power once you find it. And then you are free to see what you like about a person and not just the parts you evolved away from.
Be compassionate to the people still attached to these faults. You will understand them on a whole new level – a level that lets you see the truth in a person, even when they can’t see it themselves. Once the darkness evaporates and you put yourself in the light of awareness, you will feel nothing but compassion for everyone.
And yes, it can be overwhelming.
When you live from your heart, you clearly see the hearts in others. It’s the same for darkness. You’ll see darkness in people when you live in darkness.
Best put on your infrareds you scalawags!
You will never understand anyone until you experience what they experience. And you will never see truth until you take yourself out of that experience.
That’s why letting go is so important. But you shouldn’t force yourself to let go of anything. As long as fear binds you to the thing your attached to, you will never truly be rid of it. Resentment and anger will continue to tie you in even when you claim to have let it go.
And life repeats itself with new people, new jobs, new situations that come from the karma of not letting go. Your Law of Fives still attracts your fears.
That’s why forgiveness is important.
“But it’s so hard! How can I pretend none of this is happening? How can I remain unaffected while people are so cruel and disrespectful to me?”
If you can get yourself to that place, the place where you’re not afraid of your boss, the place of light and laughter, that’s the same place where you’ll understand that none of it matters anyway! You’ll begin to realize that it’s you doing everything to yourself.
You assume people will hurt you, and so you look for ways where they can.
That’s why trust is important.
You allow them to hurt you because you don’t accept the person for who they are. When you don’t accept them, you don’t accept yourself. You don’t accept yourself because you need that person to understand where you’re coming from – you’re not whole just as you are and are stuck in that cycle of wanting and needing to fill the void where your faith should be. You become narcissistic and selfish. Always in the “right.” In the superficial superego of results.
“I’m right, I’m right! Would you just shut up and listen already!”
When you accept people for who they are, trust is never an issue.
When you don’t accept (or trust) yourself, you don’t believe in yourself. You hand over your power to others. Giving them full authority to rule over your peace of mind.
How did I live like that for so long? How can you live like that?
Your abuser uses their Law of Fives to find your faults and weaknesses. Their actions bring about your weaknesses.
You search to find acceptance, but fear makes you look for ways where you’re not accepted, or not lovable. Their Law of Fives works in conjunction with your own, bringing a manifestation of your fears into reality.
But they’re not real. They are only “in part”. Anything “in part” does not matter!
You have to understand that everyone is separate from you. We are all on separate paths, despite your longing for connection. You must accept others for their faults. Otherwise you will become a slave driver hoarding power over people. You become the abuser. You say you do it out of love, or that you care – but you’re really only doing it to protect yourself.
But guess what? None of it matters! None of this is real! Fear is an illusion, it means nothing. You are not your fear. Say it over and over again until you start believing it. It does NOT matter. Nothing that is “in part (without love)”, matters.
You’re as much to blame as your abuser or accuser. And because of this, it doesn’t matter. A cycle of the snake eating its tail will always be self-defeating, canceling itself out. None of it matters.
You will find faith, stepping out of the cycle, when you start seeing who you’re not.
Be the person who doesn’t harbor hate or resentment. Be above all that garbage. In the end, all that’s left is love and compassion – that’s all there is in the end! Why wait until tragedy strikes? Why wait until compassion is pulled out of you in herky jerky tears of regret and sadness?
If you ever cried over someone else’s pain, then guess what? You’re compassionate. And yes, it’s overwhelming. Suck it up. Be a man!
Don’t be afraid to see what others see in you. I’m not saying to ignore it, or that you should delude yourself that it isn’t there. There are people out there who purposely look for ways to dismiss you, so you can’t hurt them. They do it so they don’t develop an attachment or need of you. Either that, or they’re looking for ways to feel better about themselves by defeating their own fear and stealing power away from you.
People actually do this! I’m the one who purposely looks for faults as a way to dismiss people so they can’t hurt me. I’ve always done this. That’s why I’m still single. But I actually like being single, for now anyway (there’s still so much I have to do!).
And if the bullies are right, if you really do have a personality defect, don’t fight it with resentment, denial, or anger – don’t ever deny the faults that others see in you. I’ll get to that in a moment.
Dealing with bullies is a great exercise in building strength. Bullies teach us! They help us get stronger! Not only that, but you can laugh at them and feel compassion for them all at the same time!
We all know this. But we let our environment and circumstances shape us, beating out any faith we have just so we can hand over our power and do as we’re told. We become slaves to each other. We allow it to happen! Our own hurt becomes a prison cell.
If you do everything I’m telling you, all the negativity from the outside world will only bring you higher and stronger into your true being. You’ll see that most people stop maturing out of high school. You can see their flaws and character defects (all that is “in part”), and know that that’s not you.
When you start seeing everything that you’re not, a picture of yourself emerges. You start seeing yourself plainly as you are.
I wrote a while back that you should accept your flaws, embellish them even – to make sure there’s nothing hidden and nothing to be ashamed of. There’s nothing ever to be ashamed of!
If certain people bring out your flaws and judge you for them, don’t EVER get angry or defensive. Instead of fighting it, try asking yourself “so what?”
Shrug your fucking shoulders and say “so what?”
Take responsibility and grow some balls!
Even if those judgements are false, or better yet – if they are TRUE, either way – WHO THE FUCK CARES?
There’s so much strength and acceptance in feeling this way. You become such a strong person by doing it. If only you can let go of everything, your hurt, your pride, your need for acceptance – let go of all that nonsense because the most important person that needs to accept you is YOU.
This is the path to live from the heart, regardless of others deflating your worth – your worth is equal to everyone.
Basically what I’m trying to say is that living from your heart is more than doing as you please in life. Your heart is everything that’s good and godly. Just listen to it. You will never be able to live from the heart if you stay wrapped up in hurt and denial – that’s all part of the ego, the part that doesn’t matter.
And the drippy, pulpy mess that others deem unacceptable about you, may not be flaws at all – just examples of your big heart being shown unabashed to the world without shame.
Embellish these flaws, because they may not be flaws at all. The only real flaw out there is dishonesty. People spend most of their time and energy concocting believable lies they tell themselves and others. They believe in these lies because they’re unable to confront the truth, their fears.
Dishonesty is a (subconscious) purposeful way of hurting others by manipulation. You hurt others by hiding the truth from them, although you think it’s a way to protect them. You’re wrong. You carry all your lies in your heart. They will always be there. Clouding everything. Avoiding those you lie to, avoiding the guilt, pain and fear.
That is NOT living from the heart. It’s living incredibly selfish.
The minute you start being honest, is the same minute you’ll see that it’s you with the problem, not anyone else. And who wants to admit they have a problem? Who wants to admit to being selfish and uncaring?
Honesty washes away all flaws. It’s a way to be saved, to be forgiven. And to get closer to that which is perfect and whole.
Church confessionals are highly symbolic in this way. There are so many important symbols in religion, only, people go about it the wrong way. They do it because they’re supposed to, and they fail to understand the “why” (read The Secret Deciphered: Part Two so you’ll understand why I put Why in quotes). Their why is lamented in fear. They don’t understand. They do it, but haven’t experienced the symbolism yet.
When you haven’t experienced something, when you don’t understand it, you blindly believe using the wrong kind of faith. Faith should never be clouded. It’s a knowing.
The faith you’re familiar with is not tangible. People call it faith because they simply don’t know the answers. You must have “faith” is what they say. This is true, yes you need faith, but the intellectual meaning of the word is wrong! This “faith” is defined wrongly.
The faith that I’m familiar with is knowing the answers! It’s knowing the truth! Man, I wish you can understand me because what I just said makes me sound like a complete jackass.
God doesn’t want you to have insubstantial faith, he wants you to know. It’s more than blindly believing, it’s experiencing.
But then again….
Shrug your fucking shoulders and say “so what?”
Haha, I love that sentence. There’s so much power in that sentence!
We are unbelievably complicated creatures that mirror one another. We possess incalculable facets of personality, all changing, always developing. Certain people can trigger special facets – let them. Play around with the multi-dementional person that you are. If someone brings out the child in you, be that child when you’re with them. She’s you and she’s real. If someone else doesn’t like the child in you, shrug your fucking shoulders and say “so what?”
(Sorry, had to say it again.)
Embrace the child facet. Embrace all that you are and what’s in your heart. Feeling shameful about something that is honest, true and doesn’t hurt anyone – that shame turns into blackness and judgement for when others embrace all that they are, all they possess. Why should you feel ashamed when they don’t? What gives them the right to be happy?
And if someone else brings out the nurturing Mother in you, guess what? You’re her also! You can be both Mother and Child! Be the mother to that person and if someone else doesn’t like it, follow the advice above.
People stop maturing out of high school. We’re all idiots running around with scissors bumping into each other. Making sure people bleed to prove we’re not alone in our suffering. Using pain to connect with.
If you don’t read my blog, none of this will make much sense to you. And even if you do read my blog, it still might not make any sense. Forget all I say and form your own opinions.
Also, it’s important to exercise and take care of your body. When the body is hurting, it takes great heaps of strength to remain present and compassionate to others. If you’re not compassionate with your own body, how can you be with others?
Love yourself dammit!
But then again, pain strengthens you. Trauma triggers awareness. Bringing you into the light. But get yourself out of that morbid cycle before it becomes your reality. There is always a way out. There’s always a choice.
Please don’t kill yourself.
If I get around to it, I’ll turn these insights into an easily digestible bullet list of key ways to live from your heart. A list that has the potential to actually stick to your ribs! I’m sure you’ll not remember any of this tomorrow.
It’s a globbidy gloop slush of words. I didn’t even bother with picture’s….pfff.
This is a good time to stop reading this post. The rest of it is just me yapping about a cricket.
Wow, this is crazy but I have to share it….
I’m in work right now, sitting at my desk typing. Before my first client arrived today, I found a cricket crawling on me. And so like a typical girl, I screamed.
“Yeeee! What are you? What are you doing here?”
I brought him into the conference room and unleashed the beast.
I come back into my office, close the door, and waited for my first client.
Okay well, here’s the nutty part – I saw that same cricket while I was massaging my client! I shit you not. He was crawling all over my chair.
The massage ended, I walked out and inspected the conference room. No cricket. My client left and so I inspected my office for the cricket. No cricket there either.
But guess who I found in the hallway?
By Jimminy it was him!
I searched Google to see what it means to see a cricket and found this:
Belief and Intuition
The appearance of Cricket in your life heralds
an awakening of sensitivities
and finding light within the dark.
Dreams become more clairvoyant.
Trust in your intuition – it is more accurate than you believe.
Make sure to stay grounded and balanced while exploring
your intuition and psychic abilities.
The appearance of Cricket might also be a reminder that you are using psychic powers without proper grounding.
In China, the Cricket symbolizes a fighting spirit.
In England, it is considered good luck to find a cricket on the hearth.
Crickets were believes to be familiar who watched over and
guarded the home’s occupants.
I don’t want to make this a long post but….
Too late for that! Haha suckers!
My blog made a tremendous leap in global status. A few weeks ago I was the 6,000,000 most popular site on the net, and this week I’m up to 3,137,657! I just bypassed 3,000,000 websites!
Eat it turds.
In my next post I’ll write about my book idea. I found my story! It’s an unbelievably, awesomely incredible idea! And don’t worry, I know adverbs can be unmistakably, painstakingly cumbersome. Lol…..
When in doubt, strike it out!
Stop writing Mel. Stop.
Okay now stop!
- The Law of Fives (melanieslifeonline.com)
- The present moment (truthloveunity.wordpress.com)
- “The ego could be defined simply in this way: a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment.” – Eckhart Tolle (letyourselflearn.wordpress.com)
- The day when fear asked me to look at it (debaucherysoup.com)
- 5 Easy Ways to Live More Courageously (zazenlife.com)
- Remembered Feelings (michaelerb.wordpress.com)
- LIVING FEARWARDS by RICHARD MOSS (lovegracelight.wordpress.com)
- The Relaxed Soul on “The Seven Fears” – The Expanded Version (paulhaider.wordpress.com)
- Fear, Failure, and Freedom (stephaniestammblog.wordpress.com)
- Peace Through Forgiveness (thewomanwentherway.wordpress.com)