I Am Jabberwocky and I Must Shine On

I tend to quarantine myself into reclusiveness.  I do it so often that it’s creepy.  The more people I have surrounding me, the more apt I am to slink away – unless there is beer and the night before wasn’t a sleepless night, then lord know’s I love attention.

But when there’s no beer…..

Or when the people surrounding me all seem superficial and fake…..

And I’m so tired that everything becomes funny…

I become JABBERWOCKY.  The girl who doesn’t give a shit.

And this Jabberwocky girl needs to either go back to her nest, or drink lots and lots.

I become an aloof monster, a selfish primate who only looks like a functioning human being.

Yes, I know this Jabberwocky all too well.  She is tired, that’s all.  Just plain ol’ tired.

I become Jabberwocky when I blog.  I focus intently, and the world falls away.  Very seldom do I visit other blogs.  So, being nominated for a blog award was shocking.

I don’t want to demean the honor of receiving blog awards, they are nice to receive, and fun to give.  But aside from that, let’s look at them for what they really are;  Chain letters.

They are chain letters that boosts our stats.  They make our blogs appear worthy of attention.  They set us apart from non-awarded blogs.  I mean seriously people?  It’s a chain letter.

This is the Jabberwocky talking.  SHUT UP JABBERWOCKY!

The giver of an award has the best intentions, really likes your blog – and it is a nice compliment.  But at the same time, anyone can nominate anyone.  I can hop on photoshop right now and design my very own award logo and pass it out to people.  I might do that in the future – it sounds fun.

Does anyone actually know the makers of these awards?  Or how they pick a winner out of the hundreds of nominee’s?  And is there even a winner?!

Although it really is a huge compliment, and I’ll graciously accept (ignore the Jabber), I have to admit that I don’t buy into it.

It’s like the tightly-knit WordPress family (there’s a WordPress Family award!) idly sits around swapping awards back and forth with their buddies like swapping baseball cards.

“Got it, got it, need it, got it.”

You have to know someone to be invited into this sacred swapping of awards and once you’re in the chain, they’ll keep rolling in like Tupperware parties.

A woman hosts a Tupperware party (or sex toy, tastefully simple, handbags, jewelry, make-up…etc) and gets their friends to host as well.  So every month or so you’re forced to attend these “parties” (which is just an excuse to get together and drink because proper ladies don’t go to bars [and you have to go because so-and-so went to yours!]), and end up buying something otherwise you’ll be judged as being cheap, or broke (either that or you feel guilty because so-and-so bought something at your last party).

It’s all a pyramid scam.  Keep people drunk and happy, using their own judgments against each other to keep them buying.  Using their ego’s to host the next party at their own house.  How can I possibly be the only one who see’s this?

Mary Kay was a goddamned genius!

And with awards it’s no different.  Only instead of us imbibing daiquiri’s and stuffing chocolates down our pie holes, we are rewarded with praise.  Using our own ego’s to keep us buying into it.

“Yes, I really am special.  At least, I must be now.  Let me show everyone how special I am!”

Dammit you loudmouth Jabberwocky.  What the shit man, seriously?

Okay, I have to cool my jets.  I’m really not upset at all – honestly!  It’s just the tired Jabberwocky talking.

Okay, so all in all, I’ll graciously accept this award and follow the directions on how I am to accept it.

THE RULES:

1- Display the award logo on your blog.

2- Link back to the person who nominated you.

3- State 7 things about yourself.

4- Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.

5- Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award requirements.

There is no deadline!  Where’s the deadline?  Chain letters don’t have deadlines.

It seems like a lot of work, but today’s the perfect day for this because I’m so freaking tired that I’m incapable of moving outside my house, or my room for that matter.

This is for the Shine On award:

shineon1

funny-pictures-auto-baby-creepy-387739

Ha ha I just stumbled on this picture and had to post it, sorry.

Okay, so I uploaded the logo on my blog.  Now I need to..hmm…scroll up, hold on.

Link back to the person who nominated me which is:  http://talesalongtheway.com/2013/08/24/shine-on-award-2/

Now honestly, I love this lady.  She’s a sweetheart, she really is.  She’s a fabulous writer and lovely – simply a lovely person.  My Jabberwocky response to the award has nothing, and I mean NOTHING to do with her.  She’s a very kind, loving lady and you should go to her blog to see for yourself.

Okay, now I have to state 7 things about myself:

1)  Nobody cares

2)  Please see number one

3)  Seriously, there are millions of bloggers out there.  Who would want to read seven things about a person they don’t even know?

4)   I’m being disrespectful, aren’t I?  I feel bad….

5)  I always wanted an ant farm – this is true!  They are mesmerizing to watch up close.  Why do ants carry dead ants?

6)  My parents never let me have an ant farm because they were worried the ants would get loose in the house.

7)  I’m too embarrassed to start my own ant farm at 33 years old.  And I don’t think my parents would allow it.

Okay that’s done…

funny-pictures-auto-creepy-wonka-fame-388479And now for the nominee’s:

1) http://vosperdruiter.wordpress.com

2) http://www.ModernOracleTarot.com

3) http://reachingutopia.com

4) http://buffalotompeabodyblog.wordpress.com

5) http://kimberlyharding.wordpress.com

6) http://jillness1.wordpress.com

7) http://steve2013dotnet.wordpress.com

8) http://davidnoelsmith.wordpress.com

9) http://vienaqui.com

10) http://knotane.wordpress.com

11) http://marcialoyd.wordpress.com

12) http://toddlohenry.com/

13) http://www.ZackHunter.me

14) http://brainsnorts.wordpress.com

15) http://aopinionatedman.com

16) http://normalfornorfolkblog.wordpress.com

17) http://shygemini.wordpress.com (she is actually a really good folk singer!)

I added a few extra cause I’m a rebel.

Okay, I’m done.  It’s 8 o’clock and we just ordered Chinese.  The Chinese woman from the restaurant been to my house more times than our postman.

I could fall to sleep right now.  I couldn’t fall asleep last night after writing my last post.

I started it at midnight, or one in the morning.  That’s the best time for me to write other than at my office.    I kept saying to myself over and over, “It’ll be worth it.  I HAVE to write it, I just have to.  I’m wide awake now, so I’ll be wide awake tomorrow.  I am ninja.”

Chance of an angry award winner leaving me a negative comment?  I’d say 50%.

14 Comments

Filed under humor, rant

14 responses to “I Am Jabberwocky and I Must Shine On

  1. Thank you for the nice mention!

  2. Hahahahah. Why would anyone hate mail you, it’s the truth.
    I think most bloggers know the awards are a bit of a farce after they get the 5 th one, and from what I gather most people get a bit tired of writing them. Personally I prefer to write my own, original, posts than an award “acceptance”. Awards feel like work, writing feels like life. Saying that, I’ve found some of my fave blogs in the lists of nominations at the end of award posts so they are useful, and I dutifully cross pollinate int he same way because of that.
    And to the Jabberwocky: go have some sleep, some, beers and chill the f out!!!

    • I’m finally laying in bed chillin’ after a long day. Jabberwocky is taking a break. Her back hurts. The cross pollination from awards is great, that I like. And it was cool having some new material to write about. I’ll be up for participating again no doubt. Thanks for the comment! I’m happy I haven’t gotten a shrill response yet. There’s a lot of crazies out there.

      Peace in the middle east,

      Melanie

  3. You are a riot! Namaste. . . .Anne

  4. I wanted to give you the name of a blogger you might like: http://aopinionatedman.com Site is HarsH RealiTY. I actually adore him!
    Smiles! He has 23,000+ followers and you already may be one!

    • Oh I love the opinionated man! I sent him an award lol. Let me know if you run into similar blogs like his. I like snarky writers. Thanks, for the reward, honestly I do appreciate it. It was my first one, yay!

      • Well, I LOL that you read me and opinionated man! You have a large variety of tastes girl! I think I remember when you gave him the award. . . . ..I ordered his ebooks and wrote him a “thank you” letter! I love his transparency and total lack of pc…baloney! Namaste. . .Anne

        • I only read a few posts of his because my own blog sucks me in all the time. I’m going to check out his ebook. I was looking for something new to read on my kindle.

          • I know about the blog taking so much time. Actually his book is quite small. The poetry is lovely. I got it for the story of his adoption which he has removed for some reason and the plan he followed to increase his readers. I tried some of what he said and have a nice group. I have no need for 23,000+ followers. Hard enough for me to get it all done now!

  5. Hey! thanks for the blog award vote! I feel lucky to have received it as it brought me to this post. Thank goodness for your honesty about being a recluse! I am the same. With almost any large gathering, I am mapping my “slink away” exit. I am so tired of being around everyone who just “loves” to get together :)

    • Yeah I know right? I hate the goodbye’s the most. When I’m ready to leave, I don’t want to stand around hugging everyone and saying farewell – it takes me another good hour and by the end of that hour, I have to say bye all over again to the first people I said bye to because they’re all like, “I thought you were leaving?”

      Beer is the best remedy for social gatherings, and when I’m not tired they can be mighty fun. But it’s rare to not see Jabberwocky peeking her head out at least once during a party.

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