Okay, so that takes care of that. It’s the honest to gods truth and I know I sound like a superficial prick, but hey what can you do? When you put yourself out there like that, you have to expect to get hurt. I put myself out there everyday and manage to get hurt on a consistent basis. What goes around comes around and I’m equipped to take my punishment like a man. It gets easier the more you face it.
As long as I stay mindful and honest with no hidden conspiracies to hurt others, I can handle what others dish out by taking comfort in knowing that I did nothing wrong. It’s their problem, not mine. I’m off the hook. When all your cards are on the table, you pretty much have nothing to hide behind, nothing to lose. It’s the price of being awesome. And I’m as awesome as they come.
Unfortunately, my awesomeness makes everyone else around me seem insane. It can make me incredibly impatient, cranky and I start to feel more isolated than ever.
I look at everything like a game. I’m the superhero and It’s my job to conquer the dark side, my own and others. And okay, maybe I’m a tad masochistic. Feeling hurt is better than not feeling anything at all. I pride myself on being human with a big heart. Ayahuasca gave me a cheat code for unlimited heartaches – a kind of resilience that most people don’t have.
UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, START.
I give up on understanding why people do what they do and instead focus on what I do. I’m the only thing that makes sense in my world, so why not ground myself in that?
I’m trying to follow my heart. Everyday I listen to it. Where’s it going to take me? Who am I going to meet today whom I can give my entire attention to?
I’m in work waiting for my first client. Work kills me. It’s the best job ever – everything about it I love. I love the people that come to see me, I love my hours, my freedom, the money – it’s fantastic, but it still kills me. I want to keep moving, just get up and go and keep moving but I’m stuck here while it’s nice out. Summer is not my season to hibernate.
You know what I really want to do? What my heart is breathlessly waiting for? A motorcycle. I got my license years ago but never had any money for a bike – well, now I have money!
When I was in Spain, I came across a mini motorcycle looking thing. I’ve never seen anything like it. It was the perfect replica of a full grown motorcycle, only in cuter proportions.
“Oh I want one!”
I took a picture of it.
When I got home, I looked up the make and model (Honda Grom) and found out they are coming to the states next month starting at $3,000. I want one right now. Right now I want one, but I’m afraid it will have to wait until next year. But we shall see….There is always hope.
So, I’m still on that pilgrimage high. I want to keep doing, keep following my bliss, following the fun. I want to draw, paint, write, sing, dance, play the guitar…etc. Honestly, it feels wonderful. I am unblocked. Do you know what I mean?
God I want that bike….
Damn it’s raining out. I’m supposed to go to the Yale New Haven Cabaret theater tonight so I brought a dress with me and cute sandals to match, I straightened my hair but it’s freaking raining out!
First client done, now it’s time for my dancing & singing break.
- Motorcycle Meditation (ditzsavant.wordpress.com)
- Our Start Through the States (onthebluehighways.wordpress.com)
- Top 10 motorcycle songs (motorbikewriter.com)
- Scars, Grease And A Kickstart: Learning To Love Your First Motorcycle (rideapart.com)
- The Best Way To Keep Safe On Your MotorcycleStay Protected On Your MotorbikeRemaining Safer On Your Motorcycle (thauokua.wordpress.com)
- “‘Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast.” (chronophobian.wordpress.com)
- Why You Should Ride Motorcycles: Darrell Landrum of Oregon (darrelllandrum.wordpress.com)
- Motorcycling- the love… and the danger… (vosperdruiter.wordpress.com)
- Fear, Then Fun. Panic, Then Pleasure. (livinglifejoyfully.wordpress.com)
- My Bike (carlsonbrandon.wordpress.com)