How about sex?

The great thing about having a guy as your best friend is that he keeps away the jerks from hitting on you.  He stays loyal by your side and gives those pesky sleaze bags a stare down.

Dave and Mel going out getting hammered, having a blast completely in our own isolated world.  I ain’t gonna lie, It was cool having him around.  But shit happens, things get fucked up, turned topsy turvy and now Amy is donned my new Dave.

Before Dave came into my life, I considered not going out anymore.  It was just too damn annoying and not worth the hassle.  I don’t go out and receive pleasure from a lowly halitosis beer gut rubbing against me – it’s not worth it.  Having to deal with that, the sleaze, going out is not worth it.

But then Dave came along and brought the fun back.  But he’s slowly fading away, and now I have Amy.  When Amy and I go out, we never pay for anything.  Even when we want to pay!  We literally have money thrown at us when we go to pay our tab.

But then we have lurkers for the night.  Watchers, looking for an in.

Sometimes these guys are alright, they just like company and aren’t looking for anything.  But others are super annoying.

Anyway, now when I go out, Amy’s my life partner.  She’s going to replace Dave as my new cock-block.  And she is so not into makeup or dazzling herself up (neither am I), that it may actually work.

I met a Mongolian man last night.  He kept buying us shots after shots of $8 baby guiness’.  The beer was flowing hard last night, real hard.  The beauty of having a lesbian relationship is that guys don’t care if you’re dating a woman, they still want to buy you drinks!  They think it’s sexy, and there’s no harm in buying us drinks.

I have to massage 5 clients today.  Where the hell is my first guy?  I still need to read Rich Dad Poor Dad.  My mentor clients are coming in today to see me and will be disappointed I haven’t read it yet.  They would also be disappointed that I went out and drank myself silly last night.  Going out is a distraction from your goals.  I see that so clearly – I always seen that so clearly, but I still do it.  I can’t conquer my habits – but my habits are so freaking fun!

Damn that Mongolian guy!  I was being way too naive in thinking he didn’t want anything from me and he was just being nice.  Here’s a text message he just sent me:

I’m so tired.  I’m going to lay down until my client gets here.  I can’t keep my eyes open.

3 Comments

Filed under humor, journal

3 responses to “How about sex?

  1. A guy wouldn’t have deterred it by too much, either. I have hung out with guys my whole life and they just wait until you go to the bathroom to inquire your “relationship status”. Though the out and out request for sex is a classic…

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